Why are so many English people so cold and reserved?

I think English people expect a certain amount of autonomy in others.
I have worked here, in the US and France. I’ve had nice bosses, indifferent ones, and ones who were unbearable in each country.

Go on, then - what do you mean by "cruel"?

Eh? Just because your boss is cold and reserved and your colleagues are too doesn't mean the English as a whole are cold and reserved. Some workplaces are like that. Others are warm and friendly.

I don't know if you're trying to be goady or what, but it's nonsense.

I live in Austria and a lot of Austrians have told me how much they like English people because apparently we are open and uncomplicated and have a great sense of humour.

As for the Austrians, they are a mixed bunch, as are all nationalities, most are extremely polite and helpful, especially in tourist areas but it takes a long time to actually make genuine lasting friendships with them.

I am not English by birth and I dont agree with OP.

Yet another sweeping statement. What nationality is your partner? I'm sure we can find a massive generalisation about his/her country.

You're completely right, but English people can't see it themselves. I'm English but my DP is from a European country and its like a different world there.

See, generalising about people isn't nice, is it? You didn't like being criticised, did you?
Was that what you meant when said people had been "cruel" to you? You haven't offered any examples of that, by the way.

Exactly. OP is a billy bullshitter and can’t keep up with her own lies.

There have been a few other goady threads recently with the same writing style 🥱

Your Italian boss sounds lovely but not everyone would want a boss to step over into friendship so fast. Could be awkward if they need to tell you off!

I do think work is work and social is social. Management have never asked me any questions about anything non work related. I am more than ok with this. I, in turn. have not asked any questions either. I feel the less shared the better. I know that words spoken during management 'chit chat' are used as ammunition when 'situations' arise. I have seen this happen many times.

I am from another country originally, which is more loud and extroverted. In comparison, the English may be a bit reserved but not cold or unkind or emotionally stunted. Just a different way of expressing themselves.

I like how no one talks about money here and I appreciate the privacy. No complaints. Oh also, the British sense of humour is justly famous.

But my parents (one is not English)

In another comment, you say BOTH your parents are from other European countries. 🤔

You say you're English, so what's wrong with you? If all English people are the same, and all Italian people are the same, it should be easy for you to self reflect.

What's with the goady post?

I am not cold or reserved. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm friendly to most people.

My “Goady Old Shit” klaxon is going off…

You were a foreigner in Italy so maybe your Italian boss thought you needed support. Your English boss probably thinks you're fine settling by yourself since you're on home turf.

I've lived in various countries where people were culturally more or less reserved than the English. I don't think you can really attach a value judgement to those social norms. It can get suffocating when everyone is in your business just like it can get isolating when people keep their distance.

This^^

This isn't my experience of "he English" at all, but perhaps this particular group don't like judgemental idiots who think they should be looked after by their colleagues and managers. Most people go to work to work. They don't go to find best buddies.

I love my boss and colleagues, we are a very close team - warm and friendly but not in each others' lives too much - lovely balance and l enjoy going to work. Think you have been unlucky op.

I would think it rather intrusive if I were asked by my boss what interested me, then he/she be all over it like beans on toast
Work life, private life.

People who start these sorts of threads are so breathtakingly lacking in any self-awareness or ability to self-reflect that they arrogantly assume everyone else is the problem.

You have used ‘cold’ and ‘cruel’ as adjectives and none of your examples indicate that.

I like and welcome our reserved politeness which then potentially leads to deep and kind, but only once you know someone properly. I find that infinitely preferable to fake and ott.

I would also say op, that if you’re broaching real life relationships with how you’ve responded on here, including the initial post, that’s not exactly going to result in people rushing over themselves to be friendly to you. You’re not being pleasant are you? ‘Everyone here is emotionally damaged, cold and cruel. I hate it’ ‘um, thanks for that’