Drunken Friday night argument - who was in the wrong?

I hope that isn’t what he meant when he said he’d like to do her doggy

Yes in my house ...Doggy is a 4 legged canine animal called Rover.

You were both in the wrong but you started it and he was just trying to say something hurtful in response.

Also doggy doesn’t always/usually mean ‘up the arse’.

My point is that @Ottersmith has no way of knowing whether he still is sulking or not, so making that particular comment, i.e. "dragging it out" was ridiculous. They commented a good 12 hours after the OP had given up commenting herself.

I think he had the right to either retaliate in kind (which he did) or sulk. I think it is a bit much to do both!

How the hell would you know whether he's still "sulking" or not? It's 12 hours since the OP contributed to this thread. She presumably gave up because she wasn't getting the response that she felt she deserved. Perhaps you're her mother. That's the only person I can think of who might feel the need to jump in on her side.

@Treesandsheepeverywherei wasn’t getting a man to confirm it 😂 i just asked his opinion.

Which is what most on here have said, didn't need a man to confirm it.

I’ve just read your first post to my DP and asked for his view on it. He said if I’d said that to him our relationship would be over as he’d think I’d thought about his friend sexually, he said he’d also come out with a comment to me in retaliation.
You can’t make him forgive you, if you’re genuinely sorry you need to put in the work to get your relationship back on track.
How are things today?

OP people aren’t overlooking it but the reality is that it wouldn’t have happened (probably) if you hadn’t said what you said. Your DH said it because you’d hurt him and he was trying to find something comparable that would firstly make you feel like you’d made him feel and secondly make himself feel better. You are 100% being unreasonable and the fact you are calling him pathetic for being upset and angry is just making the situation worse.

He doesnt "need" to do anything of the sort, he's quite entitled to call time on the relationship if that's what he decides.

The saying "what's on a drunk man's lips is on a sober man's mind" springs to mind.
He knows that you meant it.
You can't take back words.
He retaliated, you deserved his knee jerk response.

you must be op to know that he's "sulking " still

either that if your not get your partner to tell you that he/she wants you to be more like your friend who's probably better in bed than you, I mean its not a big deal is it!!

He's dragging it out now. He needs to stop sulking and grow up. It's not even that big a deal.

Okay, so what’s a non-clumsy way of saying ‘why can’t you fuck me like I imagine your mate would’ then?

Bringing his best friend into a critique on their sex is not ‘clumsy’.

Turn the conversation around and imagine if he'd have said your first comment. How would you have reacted? Would you have retaliated the same way he did? Would you have been hurt by your own comment? There wasn't a need to bring a third party into this conversation.

If this was the other way around everyone would be shouting LTB.
I think he should.

Sorry OP, I’m team husband on this one.

Just a slightly boring male perspective for the OP - there can sometimes seem to be a fine line between taking the initiative and doing something without consent - talking helps.

You were definitely in the wrong here. He was just mirroring the terrible thing you said to him.

You started it. You were nasty, insensitive and clearly have been oogling his pal.

He was likely hurt and giving you a taste of your own medicine, probably escalated to stick the boot in because after a stressful week you brought up some "gripes" with your sex life and pointed out his pal who you think may do it better. Yikes

Apologise first, you started it so fix it. I'd hope he'd apologise back. But I think if you attempt to take the moral high ground and wait on an apology I think you'll just build resentment.

On this site, not necessarily just in this case, women regularly demonstrate double standards, irrespective of the current voting statistics.

This relationship sounds grim 😟 you brought the comment on yourself. The fact you are calling him pathetic for sulking shows you don’t really care about hurting his feelings. You want to snap your fingers and it be over and done with. It does seem like it’s all about you. Your poor DH! No wonder he doesn’t trust you now, especially when you’re calling him pathetic for ‘sulking’ and saying things like ‘I wish I had just shagged him’- if this is how heartless you are sober then god knows what it’s really like when you’re drunk. You deserved his tongue in cheek comment and if he has to put up with such a cold hearted woman who dismisses his feelings like this regularly then maybe his tongue will ACTUALLY be in her cheeks some day! Wouldn’t blame him!

“I said how I would like him to be a bit more assertive sometimes and just go ahead and do things rather than consult me” - if this is the state of your relationship, I think he’s being smart to not “go ahead and do things.” He doesn’t want you alleging that he “violated” you or “should have known I wasn’t in the mood” or what-have-you.

If you've never imagined the friend in sexual way, how the fuck did you come up eith tje idea that based on his personality he would be assertive (and therefore what you want) in bed? That sentence proves you've thought about him.

Yeah, his comment sucked. But I really can't see how you meant your comment to come across if he misunderstood?