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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that not speaking to your own son is not a good look for the King ?

536 replies

Marmaladelover · 02/05/2025 21:08

Don’t get me wrong I think Harry has been a bit of an entitled burk but even so I was shocked that there has not been a reconciliation between Harry and Megan and the King and Queen at least to be civil to each other .
Refusing to even speak just seems like sulking to me !
That said I don’t think Harry telling the world and washing yet more dirty laundry in public is going to help matters .

Maybe some folk will think this comment belongs in the Royal Family thread rather than AIBU but it’s more about mumsnet standards ( sulking is not good ) and whether they should apply to those in high office .

Even JFK and Krushev had a hotline after the Cuban Crisis !

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2021x · 03/05/2025 08:00

Harry's only source of income is his connection to the Royal Family. He has no marketable skills or competencies.

He exploited that in his book. He spoke about some really intimate details about William and doesn't seem to have the self-awareness to understand that.

I was really supportive of him leaving as it was a shit situation for him, but he is responsible for his actions and this is were its got him and his family.

PaulaBrighton · 03/05/2025 07:56

Marmaladelover · 02/05/2025 21:08

Don’t get me wrong I think Harry has been a bit of an entitled burk but even so I was shocked that there has not been a reconciliation between Harry and Megan and the King and Queen at least to be civil to each other .
Refusing to even speak just seems like sulking to me !
That said I don’t think Harry telling the world and washing yet more dirty laundry in public is going to help matters .

Maybe some folk will think this comment belongs in the Royal Family thread rather than AIBU but it’s more about mumsnet standards ( sulking is not good ) and whether they should apply to those in high office .

Even JFK and Krushev had a hotline after the Cuban Crisis !

You're talking about the royal family and manage to single out just one entitled berk. Spoiled for choice with that lot! Dysfunctional family soap opera at our expense.

namechangeGOT · 03/05/2025 07:52

The thing is Harry knows that his family will not speak out about him in the way he speaks about them. He knows he can say whatever he wants and they’re very unlikely to ring the BBC and say ‘that’s a load of bollocks’. So, he does say whatever he wants with no comeback.

Telling us that his family have cut him off and all he really wanted was for his wife & kids to be protected fits his narrative perfectly that he is poor little Harry, alone in the world with no one to fight his corner. Personally? I don’t believe a word he says but at the same time, I don’t really care!

Helpmeplease2025 · 03/05/2025 07:52

Harry is getting what he deserves. She’ll bin him off soon too, he’s served his purpose and now he’s just a sad extra hanging round.

Commonsense22 · 03/05/2025 07:39

I think that Prince Charles was a product of his education and traditions, and made some awful decisions earlier in life.
He treated Diana very badly, but then he had been ordered to marry a virgin whilst himself having been educated in sexual matters early on as is the royal formal tradition for men.
So essentially he had little scope to get it right.

He was not raised closely by his mother, who herself was thrust into the spotlight at a young age when her dad died, had a husband who was not faithful and did her best by taking on life as a matter of duty. She didn’t question harmful traditions and failed in educating her sons to be good men.

That said, Charles has matured a lot in later life and in the last 10 years, has become far more wise IMO. It just took him a stupidly long time.

MeltonInTheHeat · 03/05/2025 07:35

NonComm · 02/05/2025 21:40

@HRTQueen
@MrsCravensworth
Agreed.
Charles also wrote a book criticising his parents and yet they didn’t ‘grey rock’ or go NC with him.
Charles cheated on Diana.
Charles married the mistress.
Charles allowed the press to bully H&M
Charles is the parent and should fix it with his son if he has any decency left in him.
Also, a retired senior Met officer (who will be better informed than any of us) confirmed that H & M’s lives were in danger.
H&M will never get fair treatment in this country.

I think they will get fair treatment.

It just may not be the sort of treatment they would like. They demand that people acquiesce to their vision of themselves which is totally at odds with reality.

Not everyone is that deluded.

Sunholidays · 03/05/2025 07:33

Jazz7 · 03/05/2025 07:30

The King is not sulking. He could not risk talking to Harry while the case was going on in case it was used against what is his government. That would cause a constitutional crisis if he was seen to be interfering. All Harry had to do was drop the case (which would have cost us taxpayers millions if he’d won) then they could reconcile but he is still trying to keep going asking other people to intervene. He already has security if he comes for official events and almost certainly would if he came privately if risk was thought to exist just like any other celebrity

This 100%

Jazz7 · 03/05/2025 07:30

The King is not sulking. He could not risk talking to Harry while the case was going on in case it was used against what is his government. That would cause a constitutional crisis if he was seen to be interfering. All Harry had to do was drop the case (which would have cost us taxpayers millions if he’d won) then they could reconcile but he is still trying to keep going asking other people to intervene. He already has security if he comes for official events and almost certainly would if he came privately if risk was thought to exist just like any other celebrity

rwalker · 03/05/2025 07:27

There’s no way the king can talk to harry because more than likely any conversation will end up being a headline exclusive in the media
they can’t talk without fear of being quoted in the press

RosesAndHellebores · 03/05/2025 07:25

Austenpirate123 · 03/05/2025 06:46

See I remember this differently.
I remember that the RF wanted to hunker down in Balmoral after the news broke, and look after W and H. It was the public’s ghoulish and frankly hysterical demands that made them come down to London before they were ready.
subsequent interviews have confirmed that neither W nor H were forced to walk behind the coffin. In fact they said they wanted to, and PP said he would walk with them.

the whole boarding school thing - while i wouldn’t want to pack my children off to boarding school at 8/9/10 whenever it was they went, that was totally normal for the class they were born into.
not saying it’s right, but it was not unique to Charles, doing that.

This.

Delphigirl · 03/05/2025 07:23

HRTQueen · 02/05/2025 21:14

He allowed his sons to walk behind their mothers coffin at her funeral while the world watch all for the royal image

he packed them back off to boarding school when their were grieving

he had no intentions of ever being faithful and choose a bride that suited his needs and watched her mental health spiral and did nothing

what makes you think Charles is a nice guy he has never had a reputation of being nice

yup. He is a dogshit father, always has been.

MilesOfMotivation · 03/05/2025 07:23

Yeah, I wouldn't want to talk to Harry either.

You're only hearing one side of the story remember.

CloverPyramid · 03/05/2025 07:22

I don’t think it’s reasonable to do things you know will cause your family huge public embarrassment and issues, and then turn around and act bewildered why they don’t want to associate with you anymore. You don’t get to do something bad to someone and then play the victim saying “I’d love to make up, life is too short”.

I actually didn’t think Harry and Meghan were unreasonable to do their initial interview. It sounds like they were treated badly by the royal family and if they want to break away over it then that’s fair. I respect someone who risks walking away from a cushy life over their principles.

But their insistence on this “half in- half out, there shouldn’t be consequences for our actions” nonsense they’ve been doing ever since has changed my opinion of them.

Flibberdigibbit · 03/05/2025 07:20

No-one can truly be surprised the kings emotional intelligence is so lacking, except I think Harry whose judgement is clouded by all this personal long term hurt and trauma playing out in public across his entire life. People are so harsh about how he airs things in public, but the royal family has thrust him in the public eye literally since the day he was born so seems a bit rich to complain about him for that. It's really sad to see how this split has only grown and with all they've all gone through, could they not all find a way to achieve unity and come together. It doesn't speak much to the royal family's prowess as diplomats or a unifying force for the country if they can't all put their pride aside and reconcile. It's also clear that Harry is stuck and can't move past it & is growing increasingly volatile. It's very sad for Harry's kids. They should all cop on and just get together and clear the air.

runningpram · 03/05/2025 07:19

Not a big Royal fan but I dont think privilege lessens trauma.
Harry’s trauma was also unique. You couldnt go on an online support group and look for help because its pretty identifying or find validation for his feeling by finding examplesof people who have gone through the same and seeing how they are coping. I also think many people could identify with him - even with the best and most expensive psychological help he will feel v alone. Im not surprised he has started to behave this way after having kids. Perhaps seeing them grow up has made him more aware of his vulnerability as a child and angry at those who failed to protect him.

Commonsense22 · 03/05/2025 07:16

GreenClock · 02/05/2025 23:07

H is definitely a Royal. He looks a lot like Philip. The red hair comes from Diana’s father and siblings, not Hewitt. If Hewitt were blond or brown-haired, no one would be calling him Harry’s bio father because there is no other likeness really, other than the unusual colouring (which is also present in the Spencers).

It’s funny watching this over-privileged lot bicker and squabble, but there’s an elderly man with cancer at the heart of it which makes it less amusing than it was 18 months ago.

I must say likeness is very subjective because I can't see any likeness at all with Philip but think he's been absolutely identical to Hewitt at times of his life.
Take away the hair and it's the same.

That said I have no opinion on his parentage, the likeness with Hewitt is probably just very unlucky.

Canopies · 03/05/2025 07:11

Blinkingbother · 03/05/2025 07:00

when I read threads like this I really do worry about the lack of critical thinking or research ability of some other users. The facts (the real ones, not the ones Harry makes up😆!) are that the King has no control over Harry’s security arrangements and has no influence on them - that is down to RAVEC. As for the ‘he’s not speaking to me’ I probably wouldn’t converse regularly with someone who had already lied (proven to have done so!) about me & my wider family in print and other media. Harry needs to seriously grow up - the man is over 40 and behaving less maturely than most 5 year olds!

And can you just imagine the harassment Harry put his father under, every phone call or meeting, constant haranguing, insults and emotional blackmail , to try to force him to do something he cannot legally do.

I actually admire Charles for going no contact with Harry, that must have been painful for him, but clearly the right decision.

Createausername1970 · 03/05/2025 07:10

Westfacing · 03/05/2025 06:18

I don't believe much of what Harry says after he claimed in his book that he lost his virginity to an older woman - she was 19 Grin

Technically she was an adult but still a teenager and hardly an 'older woman', implying predatory behaviour with a 16 year-old.

It was the story surrounding the QM's death that was the standout for me.

His version of events was that he was at Eton when he was told, and it was an equerry that phoned him, not Pa. Very sad, poor boy.

But what's that you say.... there are newspaper reports from that very day showing him, Wills and Pa skiing? And newspaper reports showing them all returning home from their skiing trip as the trip was then cut short. Surely not.....

I can get that people have differing memories of conversations, and even events themselves, it happens all the time, it's very common. But to get something so completely wrong, when it was very easy to fact check, makes me not believe a word that comes out of his mouth. Which is a great shame as I used to rate him quite highly, pre-Oprah.

Blinkingbother · 03/05/2025 07:00

when I read threads like this I really do worry about the lack of critical thinking or research ability of some other users. The facts (the real ones, not the ones Harry makes up😆!) are that the King has no control over Harry’s security arrangements and has no influence on them - that is down to RAVEC. As for the ‘he’s not speaking to me’ I probably wouldn’t converse regularly with someone who had already lied (proven to have done so!) about me & my wider family in print and other media. Harry needs to seriously grow up - the man is over 40 and behaving less maturely than most 5 year olds!

Lifestooshort71 · 03/05/2025 06:50

Canopies · 03/05/2025 06:46

Harry has purposely confused the reality of his security situation when he is in the UK.

He and his family get British personal protection officers whenever he is in the UK. They cooperate and work in tandem with Harry and Meghans own personal bodyguards. .

What he doesn’t get is a 24/7 team of armed British personal security protection officers twiddling their thumbs waiting until Harry decides to hop on the next flight at a whim to have a boys night out with his buddies. This is what he wants.

He also wants this to lead to being given round the clock British personal protection, no matter where in the world he is, like he had in Canada. 6 teams of British personal protection officers, assigned to them by the government, flying back and forth across the Atlantic on a rota, at the taxpayers expense. (Some of them complained they were regularly sent to do menial personal errands for Harry and Meghan.)

In his latest role as a non working member of the royal family, he has to give 21 days notice to announce he is coming, whether that be a boys night out or whatever else he wants to do, to allow the correct security be put in place, sometimes that may be the armed security he wants and other times it may not be personal armed protection, it all depends on the risk assessment of the experts.

Harry, as we know, lies through his teeth, he did it again in that BBC interview.

Charles has nothing to do with it.

⬆️ 100%. At last, a bit of sanity.

Austenpirate123 · 03/05/2025 06:46

HRTQueen · 02/05/2025 21:14

He allowed his sons to walk behind their mothers coffin at her funeral while the world watch all for the royal image

he packed them back off to boarding school when their were grieving

he had no intentions of ever being faithful and choose a bride that suited his needs and watched her mental health spiral and did nothing

what makes you think Charles is a nice guy he has never had a reputation of being nice

See I remember this differently.
I remember that the RF wanted to hunker down in Balmoral after the news broke, and look after W and H. It was the public’s ghoulish and frankly hysterical demands that made them come down to London before they were ready.
subsequent interviews have confirmed that neither W nor H were forced to walk behind the coffin. In fact they said they wanted to, and PP said he would walk with them.

the whole boarding school thing - while i wouldn’t want to pack my children off to boarding school at 8/9/10 whenever it was they went, that was totally normal for the class they were born into.
not saying it’s right, but it was not unique to Charles, doing that.

Canopies · 03/05/2025 06:46

Harry has purposely confused the reality of his security situation when he is in the UK.

He and his family get British personal protection officers whenever he is in the UK. They cooperate and work in tandem with Harry and Meghans own personal bodyguards. .

What he doesn’t get is a 24/7 team of armed British personal security protection officers twiddling their thumbs waiting until Harry decides to hop on the next flight at a whim to have a boys night out with his buddies. This is what he wants.

He also wants this to lead to being given round the clock British personal protection, no matter where in the world he is, like he had in Canada. 6 teams of British personal protection officers, assigned to them by the government, flying back and forth across the Atlantic on a rota, at the taxpayers expense. (Some of them complained they were regularly sent to do menial personal errands for Harry and Meghan.)

In his latest role as a non working member of the royal family, he has to give 21 days notice to announce he is coming, whether that be a boys night out or whatever else he wants to do, to allow the correct security be put in place, sometimes that may be the armed security he wants and other times it may not be personal armed protection, it all depends on the risk assessment of the experts.

Harry, as we know, lies through his teeth, he did it again in that BBC interview.

Charles has nothing to do with it.

cardboardvillage · 03/05/2025 06:42

he probably does but not often.

anyway, it’s berk

Yorkshiremum80 · 03/05/2025 06:40

How can he talk to him when he can't trust it won't be used in his latest documentary,?
Harry mentioned in an interview yesterday he didn't know how long his dad has left. Could be a flippant comment at he's getting on but at his dad has cancer some will jump on that its a sign he's much iller then we know. He needs to be careful with what he says, something he hasn't mastered.

Theunamedcat · 03/05/2025 06:34

Lupin4747 · 03/05/2025 06:07

The royal household is far too involved in the decision making re security. Princess Diana’s security let her get in a car with a drunk driver.

No sorry, parents don’t act like kids and send their children to Coventry. It’s spineless and childish. You have discussions and move forward.

How is Diana's security the palaces fault? They could not force her to keep her security she thought they were spying on her

One former member of the royal household is on the panel ONE and it's not in their best interests for harry to die quite the opposite in fact the press turned on diana before her death then they made her a saint can you imagine how much they would castigate the royals if harry died or got injured

The royals are a private family that cannot work when you have someone throwing tantrums left and right and telling the press everything that is said behind closed doors harry is a grown up he needs to act like it