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Original poster

Why do so many parents break up before their DC start school?

60 replies

StrangerThings123 · 02/05/2025 18:49

Inspired by a discussion I had with friends earlier in the week.

We are all mid 30’s, and when we went to school the general consensus is that it would be very rare for one of our classmates to have parents who weren’t together. I’m talking Primary school here, so up to the age of 11.

Nowadays, it seems there’s a huge rise in parents breaking up when their DC are young. What do people put this down to? I said the ease at which people can now move on and date e.g the apps is a big factor.

OP posts:
Tiswa · 02/05/2025 19:23

Children are hard work and put a strain on relationships (and it isn’t just the baby toddler years teenagers are just as tricky) so it is all about foundations.
if you have made your house from straw or sticks then a baby can easily blow to all down. The house needs to be a solid brick one to get through it

MrsKateColumbo · 02/05/2025 19:22

It's quite area dependent, my DD's class i dont think anyone is split up and DS' maybe 2 or so. Very MC area (so less financial worries to add to relationships i suppose).

Also women having jobs gives us freedom to not accept shit relationships

LMBWSS · 02/05/2025 19:20

Snowpaw · 02/05/2025 19:02

I think there's one maybe two broken up parents in my daughter's class Y2. Its not the norm here.

Nor mine either. Only one child in my daughter’s class has a parent who is single (year 4); the others are all married.

ConsuelaHammock · 02/05/2025 19:19

Having children too early in a relationship without any commitment to each other first.

Cakeandusername · 02/05/2025 19:18

Statistically more likely to split if unmarried. If you compare stats for when you were at school v now, number who had married parents will be much higher when you were at primary school.

MoominMai · 02/05/2025 19:14

As well as the rise of social media I’d say perhaps it being more socially acceptable for parents to break up if they’re unhappy - whatever the source of that may be. Also, extended family bonds aren’t so strong anymore so way back when, it would have been more frowned upon and family would probably have rightly or wrongly been more involved in trying to keep family units together - there was a stronger closeness and interest there partially underlined by religion and partly the potential impact on the reputation of the wider family. When I was a kid in the 80s it was extremely rare for parents to be divorced.

sleepandcoffee · 02/05/2025 19:03

I think it’s more common not to be married which makes it abit easier just to walk away

Snowpaw · 02/05/2025 19:02

I think there's one maybe two broken up parents in my daughter's class Y2. Its not the norm here.

SaladSandwichesForTea · 02/05/2025 19:01

Spend a few weeks on mumsnet and you'll find out.

To summarise... useless men who often financially bully their wives while expecting them to do everything and be grateful he goes out to work and does nothing else, whilst simultaneously pestering his wife for sex amd chasing younger women who aren't as "boring" as her.

Fredthefrog · 02/05/2025 18:55

The baby /toddler years can drive a wedge between you as their needs can become all consuming. As you come out of the otherwise you may not realise you need to reconnect and work on it.