AIBU to think my friend is too comfortable in my home?

I came here to vote YABU…but then read everything she does, wow!!! YADNBU, this lady is definitely overstepping

This is where boundaries are important - it's much harder/more awkward to push back now than it would have been if you'd drawn a line in the sand sooner.

I've got friends who I'm quite happy to have helping themselves to whatever food/drink they want, but it's a two-way street. Also, if they're coming over, they'll ask if I need anything picking up on the way.

Maybe next time she asks to come, you could ask her to bring some wine/drinks/whatever? Or just go to hers more often and take the piss yourself!

"I'm just having a bath, would you mind getting your lawnmower out for me to borrow while I'm in there?"

Personally I would love it if a friend felt so comfortable in my home
in fact a friend popped in tonight and asked me if I wanted a coffee, and made me one!
I do think it’s presumptuous to assume she could pop her sweaty running gear in your wash though.
Another thought, is her home life ok?
As a teen I spent more time at my friends house than my own.. because her parents were lovely kind and supportive, and mine were the opposite( my Dad was violent to me too)

Yeh that was a bit of a drip feed. A cheap dog sitter in my area costs a minimum of £20 a visit and £20 for a walk for one dog. I originally thought the op was annoyed as it was all one sided, but it’s not. I have 2 friends that act the same with me as I have a nice home and they like to get out of theirs. But they come in when they want, help themselves to all sorts, but then do my dishes, help me with my own washing, help entertain the kids after school etc.

Taking the absolute piss… Asking if you’re putting a wash on is beyond a cheek. I struggle with setting boundaries so I get it, sounds like you possibly do too but you neeeed to or you’re gonna fall out/have to forcibly drift apart. Maybe like someone else said do a jokey/banterous comment that is light-hearted but also lets her know it’s cheeky/asks why she can’t do these things at her own home.

This is a you problem.
You have a presumptuous user on your hands, not a healthy basis for a friendship.
You are too available.
We teach people how to treat us.
You have taught her you are a mug.
Change that or this will be a recurring problem in all your relationships.

So are you paying her for the help with the dog? If not you are being very very unreasonable.

“I’m your mate not your mum” is what I’d say to a lot of that.

A good friend would not do this in my view. Even my sister wouldn’t do this type of thing. Closeness and being comfortable is different from disrespecting someone else’s private home.

How long have you known her?
For example, my very close, extremely annoying cousin came to stay with my husband and me one summer.
She left her wet swimsuit on the floor, she left milk & other refrigerated foods out on the counter and left her dishes everywhere but in the sink.
I didn’t think a second thing about it.
If drove my husband insane.
The difference was I’d known my cousin since birth - my husband had only just met her.
She was, let’s say, an acquired taste.
She was overly generous and very funny and knowing what I know now about that lying, cheating POS I married, I probably would’ve left my wet swimsuit on the floor and the milk out and my dirty dishes everywhere too.
People tend to take a mile if you give them an inch.

It’s possible that would make her feel more at home.

Different folks, different strokes

I am very laidback and honestly a bit of a pushover but even this would be too much for me! She is taking the piss

Don’t feel guilty. It’s your house, not hers.

Fair enough if she makes herself a cup of tea when looking after the dog, but not inviting herself over at the weekend etc. If you don’t want her over, don’t feel guilty at saying no. Control the narrative.

REIN!

It's 'free rein', as in to slacken the reins of a bridle enough to allow the horse to do whatever it wants with its head, as opposed to a 'tight rein' which is restrictive.

I'm sorry, but language has meaning and value.

I would hate having someone in my space like this.

I think things are getting blurred because she’s doing you a favour so takes these little comforts as her due.

Can you afford to get a dog walker so you’re less reliant on her?

The dog is quite a drip feed. If she's often there alone while you work long hours, of course she should be comfortable using the facilities and helping herself.

I think being comfortable in your home is a fair payment for helping with your dog.

People treat you the way you allow them to treat you.
This is a YOU problem.
Sort it out!!

It's clearly bothering you so whether other people would be fine with it is irrelevant. You're going to have to cut back her time at yours or just start saying no.

How is she able to spend so much time at your house? Don't either of you have jobs/life admin/errands to run?

How much is she there that she wants you to do her washing?! It sounds like you’re becom8ng very irritated at her constant presence-are you both sahms? Maybe start limiting her time at yours.

I'm more than happy for people to relax in my house, put their feet up on the sofa, help themselves to a cuppa, top up their drink etc.

I'd draw the line at ask to put their stuff in my washing machine, though - that's definitely a bit much. I also have no time for people telling me I need to buy things for my house just because they happen to like them.