To not want to go to my brothers party?

It’s clear you don’t want to go!
Cats can be left alone, they’re fine! It seems you’re making an excuse as to why you don’t want to go. An hour away is nothing and it would be easy to get public transport and stay the night. It’s his 30th!

Surely he knows about hour anxiety? Just tell him you feel uneasy.

And if you really don’t want to go, at least don’t use them as your excuse! Feign illness as it just sounds too weird.

You’re right. It does sound like rather a pathetic cop-out.
Come on OP, do you really want to be the woman who cancels a family party to stay home with her cats?

If she’s taking the piss out of people with anxiety then that is pathetic. If this is a genuine post then she’s not pathetic. It isn’t pathetic to be unwell. My child couldn’t leave the house at one point to go for a very short walk let alone go to a party an hour away. She wasn’t being pathetic, she was highly distressed and she needed a lot of help.

Are you always this unpleasant? I am guessing the answer is yes then. Thanks for clarifying.

Did you mean to me quote me? Or are you saying that I’m unpleasant because I said you were unpleasant for calling someone unhinged and saying that everyone would better off if she didn’t go? Because that is unpleasant. It’s nasty, bitchy bullying of a vulnerable person. And you don’t like anyone calling you out.
So I’m now guessing the answer to my question is yes then. Thanks for clarifying

A waste of petrol when it’s your brother’s 30th?

I would drive there for a few hours and then leave early explaining that you need to get back for your pets plus don’t like driving in the dark.

I think you need to be honest with yourself. I see you are giving reasons why NOT to attend rather than the reverse. Take a moment to think how your brother would feel to see you, time with family is precious, I suspect if you go you will be dead chuffed with yourself….and so you should!

The cats believe me will be absolutely fine, please don’t use them as an excuse not to go.

We used to leave our very loved cats for the whole weekend (Fri to Sunday). Just left plenty of food and water

Are you always this unpleasant?

it is isn’t pathetic. It’s anxiety. Mental health problems aren’t pathetic

It’s hardly far. I left home at 4am and drove 4hrs to Wales to see my friend for a few hours as she’d come over from Australia. I then drive back that night and got home around 1am the next morning. My cats hadn’t even noticed I’d gone. They had biscuits and ate when they wanted. They just missed their meat for one day

It was cats now it’s petrol. You don’t want to go

If I was your brother I’d be really upset and long term you will distance yourself from your family

you need to seek help at your GP for your anxiety.

in the mean time you drive over in the afternoon in plenty of daylight and stay over and drive home in the light, the cats will be fine.

that or you get the train/bus or a taxi.

what you don’t do is not go or list non excuses

I think you need to explain to your brother you’re feeling really anxious. The practical advice you’ve been given about automatic cat feeders and times for leaving etc won’t stop your anxiety. I hope your family can support you and that you can access some good mental health support

Are you always this unpleasant?

She knows.

Sorry, it sounds pathetic because it is pathetic.

I wouldn’t get over this if I were your brother.

Just drive there, I drive an hour each way for work FFA. Do you think people with cats can’t get away for a few hours?

She has bad anxiety. That is not an excuse it’s a reason. Perhaps try some advice rather than just bashing her?

YABU
Cats can sleep for 19h a day and will be fine without you for a few hours.
its sending a really hurtful message to your sibling and it’s not about you. A birthday is about showing up for someone else and making them feel happy, loved and valued.

it’s really mean to say it’s a waste of petrol and very selfish. I hope you don’t need ‘a village’ one day because this isn’t how you get one! If your anxiety is this severe it’s tipping to not reasonable isn’t it, eg feeling so anxious you won’t travel for an hour, so affecting your life and relationships. So probs need to get some therapy etc to help find balance again.

unless there’s a huge backstory where he treated you badly etc then I think it’s pretty poor to make no effort for your own brother and use cats as an excuse. You know people can see through excuses like that!

Sadly, if you think events, even a family one, is a waste of time and petrol you are in danger of alienating yourself and becoming very lonely

Do you want to go to the party or would you rather stay at home?

Sorry OP, but if I was your brother I would be so upset. Go over and back in one day, it’s only an hour..

How do you manage to go to work?
Why can't you leave your cats?
Do you ever have a day away because presumably you never go on holiday?importantly, it's your brother and you've made a commitment. Leaving your cats is no excuse to renege on this