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Original poster

CMS

164 replies

Runto · 02/05/2025 14:45

I live same building with my kids and ex.
We have a big flat , where the kids are, and a small flat, where I stay.

I see the kids and support every day for homework music food and we go out to play sport every day.

Only thing
The kids don't sleep as mine , because the flat is a bit small. It is possible for them to sleep in my flat but is is just less comfortable than their own bed , one couple of stairs up.

The mother is claiming child maintenance because she says the kids don't sleep at mine.

The mother had a job, is from a wealthy family ( inheritocratie

Given the fact that I am involved 100% in there life I

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 02/05/2025 15:30

Yeah ok pull the other one.

Original poster
Runto · 02/05/2025 15:25

I pay for everything when the kids are with me , out the weekends and on holidays. I provide full support . When the kids are at mine (my flat and consumables are theirs).
The mother does not need the money. She is wealthy. Parents have castle and huge house by beach.
She wants money by principle. Not by need. And bear in mind, I am helping everyday with fixing clothes, ironing clothes etc but not at a rate of 50/50. But I am playing outside with them at a rate of 99/0.
Although she decides to work part time for quality of life .

OP posts:
Snorlaxo · 02/05/2025 15:12

CM is based on how many overnights each parents have so technically your ex is right. Even if you had them in your flat until bedtime when they went to your ex’s flat, she would technically get full CM.

Her financial position has nothing to do with how much CM you pay. It’s a percentage of your income with a discount based on how many overnights you have.

ArminTamzerian · 02/05/2025 15:11

Runto · 02/05/2025 15:03

I live in the same building as my children and my ex-partner. They reside in our large flat, while I have a smaller one. Despite being fully involved in my children's lives daily – helping with homework, music, meals, and taking them out for sports – their mother is demanding child maintenance. The sole reason she states is that the children don't sleep at my smaller flat, even though they easily could, and their own beds upstairs are simply more comfortable. What makes this particularly frustrating is that their mother has a job, comes from an incredibly wealthy family (through inheritance), and even admits she doesn't need the money, stating it's 'a matter of principle.' (I am of working class background).Given my 100% involvement, it seems incredibly greedy of her to pursue financial support when she clearly has no financial need. This creates resentment on both sides.Can the Child Maintenance Service see that this is a blatant waste of their time and resources, driven by nothing more than avarice?"

So you don't think you need to financially support your children at all? Just help with homework and play football...

That's not how it works.

vodkaredbullgirl · 02/05/2025 15:08

Doesn't matter that she comes from a wealthy family. Wouldn't a private agreement be better or did you not want to?

Original poster
Runto · 02/05/2025 15:03

I live in the same building as my children and my ex-partner. They reside in our large flat, while I have a smaller one. Despite being fully involved in my children's lives daily – helping with homework, music, meals, and taking them out for sports – their mother is demanding child maintenance. The sole reason she states is that the children don't sleep at my smaller flat, even though they easily could, and their own beds upstairs are simply more comfortable. What makes this particularly frustrating is that their mother has a job, comes from an incredibly wealthy family (through inheritance), and even admits she doesn't need the money, stating it's 'a matter of principle.' (I am of working class background).Given my 100% involvement, it seems incredibly greedy of her to pursue financial support when she clearly has no financial need. This creates resentment on both sides.Can the Child Maintenance Service see that this is a blatant waste of their time and resources, driven by nothing more than avarice?"

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 02/05/2025 15:00

For child maintenance only nights matter get a bigger flat have the kids 50/50 uou won't have to pay a penny to your ex

You WILL however have to pay for clothing childcare if you use it on your days food beds bedding toothbrush shoes extra everything because your 50/50 therefore the responsibility will be on you too Dr's dentist school meetings sick days inset days and everything else I've missed off my list

reesespieces123 · 02/05/2025 14:58

You don't have the kids any overnights, that's how CMS works. Get somewhere where you can look after your kids and have them for days at a time.

dddilemma · 02/05/2025 14:58

CMS is about daily costs/overall costs/responsibilities.

It sounds like a little out of the ordinary but helpful for their upbringing to be so close. Do you have set days that are with you? Do you cook/pay for meals etc/are they in your flat day time until bedtime? Who pays extra costs such as school trips/jackets/bikes etc.

Unfortunately CMS is based on overnights so it may be that you have to make space in your flat for them to reflect the days you are actually watching them.

Assuming the kids staying in the house 100% & you/ex alternating between the flat isn't an option

toomuchfaff · 02/05/2025 14:57

Runto · 02/05/2025 14:45

I live same building with my kids and ex.
We have a big flat , where the kids are, and a small flat, where I stay.

I see the kids and support every day for homework music food and we go out to play sport every day.

Only thing
The kids don't sleep as mine , because the flat is a bit small. It is possible for them to sleep in my flat but is is just less comfortable than their own bed , one couple of stairs up.

The mother is claiming child maintenance because she says the kids don't sleep at mine.

The mother had a job, is from a wealthy family ( inheritocratie

Given the fact that I am involved 100% in there life I

Do you pay for 50% of their food, clothes, & supplies?

Supplies is anything they use, school, home, hobbies etc.

Supplies also is things like towels, bed sheets... all the stuff that is in a household.

MmeChoufleur · 02/05/2025 14:55

Taking your kids out for a kick about doesn’t absolve you of your responsibility to contribute financially. Their mother is still providing a home for them and you should pay towards their costs.

vodkaredbullgirl · 02/05/2025 14:55

So are you asking, why should I pay my ex?

Mrsttcno1 · 02/05/2025 14:52

Not sure what your question is?

MmeChoufleur · 02/05/2025 14:48

Whats your question?