CMS

So the other parents pays the high rent and bills because they have to have the extra bedrooms and house the children. In my area it’s at least a £300 extra per bedroom. Not taking into considering food costs, school costs, extra curriculum, clothes etc.

wow, you’re a weekend parent, the ‘fun’ parent whilst the other parents does the hard work you PLAY outside with them. How about do the hard work aka parenting? You live in the same building, share the costs 50/50, share the parenting 50/50.

She has a job and is from a wealthy family and you think that absolves you of contributing financially?

You says she's greedy, well its swings and round abouts because you're a tight fuxker.

So do you buy 50% of their food, uniforms, clothes, pay half the bills for their flat where they sleep and shower etc? Not just days out and holidays, all the boring day to day costs, like their share of the electric used at home?

If she's incredibly wealthy and you're so poor, as the picture you're trying to paint.... How come you've both got in the same building?

What was unreasonable about my comment?
I said the blunt tool, one size fits all, of the CMS doesn't always work. Not, in this case because of the mums wealth, but because you could realistically be spending equal amounts.

Which is why I mentioned the housing costs. Presumably hers are higher. But possibly not.

Do you feed them breakfast and dinner? Do you pay some of the bills for the large flat? Do you buy their clothes? Toys? do you pay dinner money? School trips? Uniform?

You haven't told us who pays for the flat - mortgage, bills etc.

Why do you think you should essentially get paid for taking your own kids outside?

Her family wealth is absolutely not of any relevance whatsoever.

Both parents have a legal duty to financially provide for their children. The father must adhere to the law as it stands.

If he doesn't like it he is free to apply for a court order for 50/50.

It is a matter of principle. You have to support your children. You're their father. You dont get out of your responsibility because their mothers family has money.
You seem to think you deserve praise for spending time with your children, playing with them. You don't. That's the minimum required.
You also have to financially support them.

Where's your pride?

CMS isn’t about providing financial security for the mother. It’s about providing for your kids.

Just because mum is financially secure (whether through hard work or dumb luck) it doesn’t absolve the father of responsibility to pay for his kids.

So even on 'your days' she has to be the on duty parent every night because they stay at h

"Waaaahhhh my ex is loaded but still wants a contribution towards my children's upbringing even though I play football with them and consider normal parenting 'helping'"

If you don't want to pay towards your children, have them overnight at yours 50% of the time.

Cms is only based on overnights

usually on threads that’s seen as a bad thing as fathers are presumed to do overnights and not actually share the responsibilities

on this thread it’ll be seen as a good thing as despite sharing the responsibilities you’ll still have to pay

This is such an unusual family set up, its no wonder the rules aren't based on this kid of situation.

Who owns the building and your flat? Did you buy it jointly, or did she or her family pay for it? Do you pay rent or live there rent free? Do you pay utilities?

That's not "helping", it's parenting. The role of a parent. You might want to try it.

She's not greedy at all. If she has them overnight and you don't she's absolutely legally entitled to child maintenance.

I don't understand why you think you shouldn't pay for your children. Change your mindset.

Who pays the bill on the large flat? Pays for the food, sports activities, kids clothes and the million of things they need?

Do you want practical advice?
Option one:
Go to court to get it mandated that the children spend a fixed number of nights with you. Then make them spend those nights with you. Then inform CMS and the maintenance will be adjusted accordingly.

Option two:
Carry on as you are, pay the maintenance, but limit what you spend or provide at your home.
E.g. if the children want to go swimming, they bring a towel and kit from Mum's place. Don't keep any of their clothes at your place - send them back to Mum's flat to collect clothes. Don't give them snacks at your place, and send them back to Mum's to have their proper evening meal. Don't provide toys at your place, they have to bring them from Mum's and take them back afterwards.

Option three:
Carry on paying maintenance, and spend as much as you want on the children, keep clothes and toys at your place, provide meals, and stop thinking about how much money their mum has because that is none of your business.

When you say 'our large flat' who owns it and who is paying the mortgage?

It doesn’t matter the financial situation of the mum, you need to pay for your kids. Helping them with homework doesn’t absolve you of financial responsibility.

This is why CMS doesn't work as a blunt tool.
But that's how it's run, so she can open a claim and will be entitled to money under their rules. I guess you could try taking it to court, but that will almost certainly sour what sounds like a positive co-parenting relationship.
Presumably her bills are higher on account of having the bigger place. What about if the DC are sick/ have an inset day, who takes time off work? Who does all the laundry? Gets up in the night if needed, and so on?

Her parents having money has no relevance to you getting her pregnant and her having had your children.