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Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

688 replies

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:08

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

OP posts:
iseethembloom · 02/05/2025 21:56

iseethembloom · 02/05/2025 18:09

“There’s no way some of the old bags on here would be propositioned on a night out” writes @op

Wait - hang on a second - you sound as though you were flattered by his attention. You actually took it as a compliment that you were ‘propositioned on a night out’, didn’t you?

Mental af

You actually wrote this, OP. And then rapidly deleted it.

There’s very something clearly amiss with you.

Fortunately many of the other wonderful posters have found a funny side, and if it weren’t for their comic take on the matter, the whole debate would have been as sinister as you are.

As a pp said, in which other sector or industry would you have felt entitled to ring someone’s boss and complain about a misguided comment on a night out? Teacher bashing is mean and vindictive. Don’t do it again.

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 21:53

If a man, who I knew and used to teach my child, interrupted my night out with a friend with some drivel about fantasising about bending me over his desk, I honestly think I'd throw a drink in his face. How dare he!

I can't believe women think this kind of thing is a 'normal chat up lines' or even flattering? Are you all mad?

ForeveraBluebird · 02/05/2025 21:53

@SophEll , ok wheres the original Op, because you can’t be her. Originally mortified by the drunken bloke to being secretly flattered by the attention.
Your podium speech sounds like something from an Inspector Morse episode. I also don’t see why anything your Dh has to say would make them take you more seriously.

Teanbiscuits33 · 02/05/2025 21:47

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 21:39

You're DH must be as much of a twat as you are then.

To be fair to him, he told her to drop it initially, so he’s probably laughing at her as opposed to with her, and only helped her with her email for an easy life. She’s a fucking weirdo. I feel painfully sorry for her DH being lumbered with her. I bet he regularly regrets his life choices.

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 21:47

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 21:46

A harmless chat up line - in the normal world - goes something like, "Could I take you out for dinner?"

Not "Hi, I used to want to bend you over my desk when we were discussing your child in the school."

Wtf is wrong with women on here!

Well you know what?

He didn't say that

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 21:46

A harmless chat up line - in the normal world - goes something like, "Could I take you out for dinner?"

Not "Hi, I used to want to bend you over my desk when we were discussing your child in the school."

Wtf is wrong with women on here!

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 21:44

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:40

I’m glad you’ve been suitably entertained 😉

Yep, you're a hoot

Thank you for keeping us amused xxxxx

Tiswa · 02/05/2025 21:42

What outcome do you think you got @SophEll because yesterday you wanted a union rep involved your friend called for an interview etc.

because all you got was what you were told you were going to get (and I think what I said the school should have done in the first place). Platitudes that they got your complaint and they were going to look into it and that they appreciated it but anything else is confidential.

How long ago did you leave the school and did the initial person there when you were because to me it sounds as if someone has quickly remembered who you are (and I suspect you were like this as a parent) and implemented this to draw a line under this.

because nothing really has changed from the first email - maybe they will look at the complaints procedure and perhaps they should (and as an aside school complaints system generally are rubbish) but other than that nothing has changed

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 21:41

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:30

The abuse is water off a ducks back - it’s comical how wound up people are getting because I got the outcome I said I would!

You haven't got the outcome you wanted but glad you think you did

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:40

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 21:39

So from the ordeal she went through to now being secretly flattered😆

Op you've given us such a laugh today, and I'm pissing myself at folk frothing on your behalf and you then saying you'd eat him alive and you're secretly flattered🤣

Been ruminating on the Teacher part again and have decided on black leather Elvis during his 69 comeback TV Special.

Edited

I’m glad you’ve been suitably entertained 😉

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 02/05/2025 21:40

MummytoE · 02/05/2025 21:26

You are a horrible person.

Absolutely vile.

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 21:40

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:24

I’d clutch his pearls if he made a comment like that again!

Disgusting

Report yourself to yourself Boss

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 21:39

So from the ordeal she went through to now being secretly flattered😆

Op you've given us such a laugh today, and I'm pissing myself at folk frothing on your behalf and you then saying you'd eat him alive and you're secretly flattered🤣

Been ruminating on the Teacher part again and have decided on black leather Elvis during his 69 comeback TV Special.

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 21:39

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:36

Absolutely - I’ve just stuck around to laugh at the posters who are losing their heads over this. DH finds it hilarious!

You're DH must be as much of a twat as you are then.

RampantIvy · 02/05/2025 21:39

It’s not ok to have teachers going around saying grim things like that to women.

It's not OK for any man to go around saying that to women @Didimum

it’s comical how wound up people are getting because I got the outcome I said I would!

No they are getting wound up at your utterly OTT smuggery. Your DH is right - it is clear in every one of your posts that you have enjoyed this.

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 21:38

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:36

Absolutely - I’ve just stuck around to laugh at the posters who are losing their heads over this. DH finds it hilarious!

Good, just draw a line under it.

andweallloveclover · 02/05/2025 21:37

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:30

The abuse is water off a ducks back - it’s comical how wound up people are getting because I got the outcome I said I would!

It’s comical how wound up you got over a drunken comment 🙄 Looking the guy up on Facebook and approaching his bosses.

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:36

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 21:35

Well I hope you're just going to let it drop now. Maybe the HT had a word with him. It's gone.

Absolutely - I’ve just stuck around to laugh at the posters who are losing their heads over this. DH finds it hilarious!

OP posts:
ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 21:35

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:30

The abuse is water off a ducks back - it’s comical how wound up people are getting because I got the outcome I said I would!

Well I hope you're just going to let it drop now. Maybe the HT had a word with him. It's gone.

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:30

Didimum · 02/05/2025 20:21

Great news, OP. It’s not ok to have teachers going around saying grim things like that to women. If you don’t want to strictly police your mouth then don’t become a public servant.

The posters desperately trying to rouse further insults and still insist you are wrong is all rather cringe. Have a great bank holiday weekend.

Edited

The abuse is water off a ducks back - it’s comical how wound up people are getting because I got the outcome I said I would!

OP posts:
WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 21:28

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 21:03

Somewhere back on Thread 1 she mentioned his FB photo and then later said "he wasn't hard to find"

She also looked the CoG up on LinkedIn

Hence we told her she was a stalker and harassing

Fuck I missed that

Getting more reindeerish with every post

MummytoE · 02/05/2025 21:26

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:23

DH the cheeky bugger has said tonight I’ve secretly enjoyed all of this. Certainly not the initial comment - maybe if I was 20 years younger and single! But I suppose it’s slightly flattering - I did read about the younger generation liking a MILF these days, so perhaps I should take it as a compliment in retrospect.

You are a horrible person.

SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:24

slummymummy24 · 02/05/2025 21:20

Oh dear, this thread at the start was quite concerning. As I remember you were horrified at an adult making a verbal pass at you, out of school, and nothing to do with the children they teach.
I was quite taken aback by your outrage (pearl clutching) at this to be perfectly honest and now you are more than happy to state that "I'd have ate him alive" and that you and your husband are drinking to celebrate.
Most people would just have giggled and shrugged this off,
I hope you're happy with what has happened (which had no indication that children would be harmed; just adults ...

I’d clutch his pearls if he made a comment like that again!

OP posts:
SophEll · 02/05/2025 21:23

HRTQueen · 02/05/2025 21:07

Well it’s all a laugh isn’t it

the hilarity of the comment and of the op being so uptight

bet she enjoyed it really 😉

not laughed so much in years 🙄

DH the cheeky bugger has said tonight I’ve secretly enjoyed all of this. Certainly not the initial comment - maybe if I was 20 years younger and single! But I suppose it’s slightly flattering - I did read about the younger generation liking a MILF these days, so perhaps I should take it as a compliment in retrospect.

OP posts:
WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 21:23

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:39

Also, for all the people weirdly outraged that OP complained ...

If your husband was a teacher, who went out to a bar, approached a woman who he knew full well was a mum of a child he used to teach in a school he still worked at in order to tell her (totally unsolicited) that he used to fantasise about bending her over his desk to fuck her.....

Would you still be laughing?

Yes

Cos it's all made up.