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Original poster

Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

688 replies

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:08

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

OP posts:
JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 02/05/2025 13:43

Fimat · 02/05/2025 13:41

Anyone else read all Op’s posts in ‘Amanda’s’ voice ?

Hyacinth Bucket for me....especially the ordering the long suffering husband (Riiiichard!) to put the champagne on ice.

WhereIsMyJumper · 02/05/2025 13:43

Also, you forgot to thank Beyoncé

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 13:42

I'm sure this is a lie but I haven't RT yet and I'm just commenting to save it and read the inanity

Fimat · 02/05/2025 13:41

Anyone else read all Op’s posts in ‘Amanda’s’ voice ?

Icantstandupforlyingdown · 02/05/2025 13:41

I'm really shocked at so many people sneering at the OP, the teacher aporoached her because she was a parentbat the school and made crude remarks aboutb sexual fantasies he had about her while taking to her about her child's progress in class.

How in any world is this an acceptable way to speak to someone? Would any of the teachers posting on this thread think it was reasonable if he'd said it to them?

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/05/2025 13:41

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:08

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

🤣

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 13:40

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:34

A lot of MN’ers who were on the previous threads will be doing this right now I think!

If anyone who should be doing that it's you. If this conversation with the Head actually did happen, it was purely to fob you off. As others have said they will be laughing at you and they won't even give you a second thought after today. You clearly live an empty, unhappy, unfulfilled life so feel the need to drag others down with you. Why not get a hobby, just don't choose one that men take part in too. They might look at you and have rapey fantasies.

SummerIce · 02/05/2025 13:40

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:34

A lot of MN’ers who were on the previous threads will be doing this right now I think!

Not a single person on the thread has done that. Instead you’ve just made yourself more of a laughing stock than you already were.

AlmostSummer25 · 02/05/2025 13:40

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:34

A lot of MN’ers who were on the previous threads will be doing this right now I think!

Yeah, no.

They are trained in how to shut down back shit complaints.

You complaint was and is still utterly bat shit

they'll probably take him out to the pub after school today.

He certainly learned to listen, though you can't judge a book by its cover

ilovesooty · 02/05/2025 13:39

BriceNobeslovesMurielHeslop · 02/05/2025 13:24

“Champagne on ice” - Jesus Christ, OP, he might have been a letch but he’s probably lost his job.

I doubt it. The school will have rolled their eyes and just provided a vague response to get rid of her.

MummytoE · 02/05/2025 13:39

Namechangetry · 02/05/2025 13:23

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference

I'm actually dying. Is this a BAFTA acceptance speech?

I was thinking it sounds more than the husband has the same thoughts as the school headteacher and governors... What can I say to make her shut up?

Mrsttcno1 · 02/05/2025 13:38

GeneralPeter · 02/05/2025 13:36

Agree. This thread has been bizarre and eye-opening. It’s really not hard to avoid saying this kind of thing, and wouldn’t be acceptable conduct in any other profession I know.

Show quote history

God you mustn’t know much then, or at the very least you’ve not spoken to many people!

cardibach · 02/05/2025 13:37

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:34

A lot of MN’ers who were on the previous threads will be doing this right now I think!

Why? Nothing at all has changed…
I can’t believe you genuinely think you’ve won. You’ve been humoured to make you go away. You are still as deeply unreasonable as you were before.
To clarify: the man was a dick. He said a stupid, unprofessional thing. He realised immediately he had and backed off. It was a nothing interaction.

YesHonestly · 02/05/2025 13:37

Three threads on this? You’ve got too much time on your hands.

So basically, they’ve given you a gentle head pat, said all the right things to get you to go away and absolutely nothing else will happen. Wonderful.

WhereIsMyJumper · 02/05/2025 13:37

Namechangetry · 02/05/2025 13:23

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference

I'm actually dying. Is this a BAFTA acceptance speech?

It’s so unbelievably cringey isn’t it??

OP seriously, you need to grow up

Abracadabra12345 · 02/05/2025 13:37

I’ve had a very lengthy phone call from the HT.”
Poor HT, having to do this, no doubt with their eyeballs so far back they can see heaven 🙄

autumnmum123 · 02/05/2025 13:36

“To prevent someone else going through what I did” what did you actually go through op? Jesus Christ get a life! I can tell you for a fact they have said all that so you foxtrot Oscar. This is actually so embarrassing I can’t believe it is even real. Also, asking for a written apology - what the actual! The headteacher is being taken away from dealing with their most vulnerable children not to mention all the time that’s been wasted dealing with your complaint to write you a fricking apology for an absolute non event. You honestly need to get back in your box and stay there!

DappledThings · 02/05/2025 13:36

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:34

A lot of MN’ers who were on the previous threads will be doing this right now I think!

And yet plenty have already posted not doing that at all.

GeneralPeter · 02/05/2025 13:36

Maray1967 · 02/05/2025 13:21

I don’t want my DC to be taught by someone who talks about sexual fantasies he had involving seeing mums at parents’ evening.

He needs to realise that teaching involves a level of responsibility outside working hours.

Hopefully he will learn from this. But he might be an arrogant dick who should not be in a classroom at all.

Show quote history

Agree. This thread has been bizarre and eye-opening. It’s really not hard to avoid saying this kind of thing, and wouldn’t be acceptable conduct in any other profession I know.

RunningJo · 02/05/2025 13:36

What he said was stupid, crass and not funny.

But OP, you have not come out well at all

“but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did”

You sound very dramatic, rather smug and the kind of person who loves to get one over on others at all costs.

FunnysInLaJardin · 02/05/2025 13:35

given how you portray yourself here OP, I can scarcely believe the original event ever happened

Austenpirate123 · 02/05/2025 13:35

OP the head was clearly trying to get rid of you and thinks you’re a deeply unpleasant unhinged woman. The teacher said a pervy comment, yes. But that happens sometimes. If a builder or fireman or policeman or doctor or lawyer or astronaut had made a similar comment would you have chased the ends of the earth trying to get this teacher fired? No - because you knew that this guy was a teacher and you felt you had some power over him.
you’re pathetic.

CalypsoCuthbertson · 02/05/2025 13:35

araiwa · 02/05/2025 13:11

Tldr

"What can we say to get rid of her"

Yep!

Justonemorecoffeeplease · 02/05/2025 13:35

This reminds me when we were told in briefing that a parent had complained about their child learning that Father Christmas wasn't real. I teach in a secondary school with 1100 students up to the age of 18. We did have a chortle at that and someone piped up 'better not talk about the Tooth Fairy then.'

There are dud teachers and if this did happen he did sound a bit of creep but really would you want him never to teach again? No wonder we are all leaving the profession in droves.

ilovesooty · 02/05/2025 13:35

DappledThings · 02/05/2025 13:15

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!
Good luck with that. I still think your attitude is horribly smug and smacks far more of joy at "winning" than any genuine wish to right a perceived wrong.

Your interpretation of what you've been told is yours and the fact they've conveniently wrapped this up so quickly suggests to me more that they've still had a quick consideration of it all, decided no further action but have given you the words that make it sound like they've done a big investigation. They've successfully placated you. Well done them!

They've played a blinder. Patted the on the head and got rid of her. Well done them, because she hasn't got a result at all.