Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

Nope.

Still think you are awful.

This in spades. I still think they will be laughing at you in the staff room and are just doing damage limitation with this. The smuggery, if that's even a word, is outstanding here and it doesn't paint you in a good light at all.

🤔

Get a hobby, you've been fed the oldest trick in the book. Its called making sure you feel heard, school will do fook all, but you'll leave them in peace.

Sounds like they've just paying lip service to your points in hopes you'll fuck off and leave them alone. What a massive win for you.

I haven't commented on any of these threads about this situation before but I've read them and the overriding impressuon I get of you is someone who's just so smug. That comes across more than any other feeling on the subject

Indeed. It's possible for him to be a dick and for her to be a smug vacuous prat.

Op do get over yourself tail between my legs my aunt fanny🤣

I cringed reading your update so much I could fit in my bottom drawer😁

Just as I predicted Head Teacher has been tasked to make it go away, another parent waving a pitchfork who needs a pat on the head and to feel placated. I wouldn't have complained personally but defended your right to do so, even though I strongly disagreed that it merited such an official approach.

The reason you get such ridicule is your terribly unlikeable manner, and your post from your high horse thinking you've won. You still don't know whether your complaint is being taken seriously because you've got a pat on the head from the Head.

I went back to your original post where you were told in no unreasonable terms to get over yourself and not to damage this guy’s career.

Yet you persevered and escalated your complaint.

This had nothing to do with your child - this teacher flirted on you on a night out. A mitigating factor is he was drunk. Obviously, you’re not used to being hit on.

You were told by the head teacher that this wasn’t a school issue.

You believed you were in the right and you pushed the issue and now you are giddy with excitement that you have gotten this teacher into trouble.

I need to express how pathetic you are. Your behaviour by pushing this issue with this guys employer was to continue the narrative that you’re so attractive he couldn’t help but be creepy towards you. It’s one thing to be angry at the behaviour but it’s another thing to react with positive joy at the prospect you’ve interfered with a person’s career.

Pathetic.

I'm not surprised that there are some sectors where this would be brushed off, but I'm surprised teaching is one of them. (Partly because this sort of thing stopped being a laughing matter in my, quite male-dominated, sectors two decades ago, and I thought of teaching as more progressive than that).

Two reasons I think I'm seeing this very differently from most here: i) I'm seeing her as a work contact (analogous to a client/former client). The sectors I know, employers care hugely how their staff behave with work contacts, especially unwanted sexualised comments, which would be stamped on hard. Many people seem to see her as 'just a mum', or 'just a former mum', which I'm not really understanding. His profession is teaching, he knows her only through that, professional standards apply. And ii) on premises/off premises doesn't make much difference to disrepute (especially as the work context was central to his comment). 'I was drunk and in a bar' wouldn't be a good enough explanation.

May I ask whether the sectors you know are ones that are traditionally considered professions?

Does that mean I'm not allowed to ask the science teacher if I can use his face as a chair when he tells me to sit down at parents evening?

Hoppinggreen!!! Wash your mouth out! 🫢 😂

More likely

“Brian, we’ve had some woman on. Did you get shedded and say something sexually inappropriate?
”WTF, didn't happen”
”No worries. Just have to check, I can’t be arsed with these phone calls”

It seems pretty clear that they didn't take it seriously and just said what they had to to get rid of her and her tiresome complaint.

This is almost word for word how my teacher OH described her last night. Along with saying the Head will just fob her off with the standard off you fuck placating response because they don't have the time or resources to deal with malicious complaints

“Brian, we’ve had some woman on. Did you get shedded and say something you shouldn’t l?
”oh, shit, yeah I did. Too many sambucas”
”No worries. Don’t do it again, I can’t be arsed with these phone calls”

As someone who has worked and trained people to be complaint handlers for several companies, tbf the school has handled this well. It given a pat on the head, OP Feels like she has won, and nothing has changed.

Soon you will receive a letter including i would think the comments of -

Highlighted a failure in our procedure and have failed to meet expectations. We will use this as a opportunity to refresh employee training on how to handle sensitive events and complaints so that it meets our value and expectations as a school.

We take issues seriously and have spoken at length to all parties involved in both the event and the failure to follow the correct complaints procedure.

We have now dealt with this matter internally

A good working relationship with Parents, whether past or present is vital to us as a School

In short - Yes OP you are being fobbed off. I would not be surprised if the actual teacher has not even been made aware of your complaint. To be honest, the chair and head are probably more pissed off that this wasn't given a brush off reply to you earlier to save wasting their time.

The problem with people like you it is always a rolling complaint -
1: what the teacher said
2: not happy with reply
3: not happy at how it was escalated

I have no doubt you will also not be happy with the bog standard letter you are going to receive.

At this point i think the only thing that will satisfy you is if the teacher parades down the street, wearing a pervert sign while you walk behind him shouting shame

Honestly? You’re putting champagne on ice for what you ‘went through’

Frankly I find you entire attitude appalling - but then I’ve been through actual abuse from men that actually caused real harm and had lasting effects and I will never ever be the same again.

He was inappropriate.

He didn’t assault you, he didn't stalk you, he didn’t literally ruin your life.

I find your whole demeanour over this to be utterly repugnant to be honest.

Absolutely! No more to be said!

Nobody is saying it’s acceptable or that they would behave like him. And they aren’t saying the nightclub incident was funny.
They are saying the OP’s approach is funny and the school will be thinking the same.

If any of this happened at all ...

His remark (whichever one it was) was horribly sleazy.
You don't sound very nice either.
The school have just placated you so they can get on with their job.
Your voting options are ridiculously skewed to you "winning" either way.

I would rather spend my time with a Teacher who made slightly sleazy comments to me in a club than an insufferable arsehole.
Especially if said Teacher was Mr Davies from DS's Y3 - I would have had let him bend me over a desk in heartbeat, however I think he swung a different way.

People have NOT being saying what he said was acceptable. The overwhelming consensus has been that it wasn't. But the vast majority also don't think he deserves to be dragged through an internal investigation and potentially lose his job for an incident that happened between two adults in his private life. But having just messaged my teacher OH for his take on OP's update, he's just replied that the head's clearly told her what she wanted to hear and nothing else will happen to the teacher. OH is also willing to bet a case of champagne that OP was THAT parent while her kids were at the school and that she was on the secret list all schools have of parents who are an absolute fucking nightmare to deal with!

Pleased to hear the update, I’m glad they took it seriously.

I think the teacher dodged a bullet when you knocked his, admittedly shit, pass back. Your husband must have the patience of a saint because I can only imagine what you are like should anything seriously bad happen around you.

And he wasn’t talking about her to colleagues. Totally different situation, @Maray1967
He was in a club, drunk, said something stupid and unprofessional, realised he’d said something stupid and unprofessional, pretended it was a joke and went away.