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Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

688 replies

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:08

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

OP posts:
WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 14:46

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 14:35

Tom Hardy having graphic fantasies about me would be the dream.

Actually this has taken me down memory lane.

A squillion years ago my husband interviewed me for a job, which I got,worked with him for a while, then moved on..

Years later we met up got married had four kids and now grandchildren. Some time into the relationship he shared some information on what he was thinking at the interview😃

Now this is very very different, but I think two women two men in a club having a conversation. Guy is pished. Guy fancies woman and blurts out the stupidest comment ever, sleezy and dicky....immediately says to himself oh fuck. Friend says excuse me.....Guy says 'joking obviously' and scuttles into the night .

Op is twattering on about what she went through when a lot if us actually sit and listen to her shite having ACTUALLY been victims.

Load of bollix abd I'm glad she got the nice fuck off response

Justmovehousethen · 02/05/2025 14:45

dairydebris · 02/05/2025 14:42

I'm 99% sure we are being trolled and 100% sure the OP has thoroughly enjoyed the attention.

I agree after the way this thread was written and subsequent updates.

Or I think this thread is completely made up to try and claim that she was right and end the discussion.

PeachBlossom1234 · 02/05/2025 14:42

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:16

For anyone unsure on the voting:

YABU - the school should have responded more strongly.

YANBU - it’s a reasonable outcome.

I voted YABU because you're being unreasonable.....

dairydebris · 02/05/2025 14:42

I'm 99% sure we are being trolled and 100% sure the OP has thoroughly enjoyed the attention.

GeneralPeter · 02/05/2025 14:41

SuperTrooper14 · 02/05/2025 14:33

I'm starting to think you're jumping the shark now and this is all made up. MN seem to think you're a genuine poster, but I honestly don't believe anyone in real life could be so smug and self-congratulatory about potential fucking up someone's career. If this isn't one long wind-up, I fear for your husband and DC. One step out of line and you'll take a hit out on the poor sods.

You need to pick one: either this is a nothing, or this is potentially career-ending.

I agree OP's tone on MN hasn't been particularly endearing, but I don't think she owes that either to him or to the crowd.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 02/05/2025 14:41

I’m not sure that this update shows the OP in the light she thinks it does 😂

SuperTrooper14 · 02/05/2025 14:41

GeneralPeter · 02/05/2025 14:39

On the private life thing I guess we aren't going to agree. This is a person he knows only through his work, and only while working, and his sexualised comment was directly about their professional interaction at his workplace.

This isn't a complaint that she met a random guy in a bar and he said something sleazy, and he turned out to be a teacher. Then I'd agree with you.

But she's not a work contact. Her kids don't go to the school and haven't attended for years by the sounds of things. She's a former parent and has no involvement in his workplace.

GeneralPeter · 02/05/2025 14:39

SuperTrooper14 · 02/05/2025 14:09

People have NOT being saying what he said was acceptable. The overwhelming consensus has been that it wasn't. But the vast majority also don't think he deserves to be dragged through an internal investigation and potentially lose his job for an incident that happened between two adults in his private life. But having just messaged my teacher OH for his take on OP's update, he's just replied that the head's clearly told her what she wanted to hear and nothing else will happen to the teacher. OH is also willing to bet a case of champagne that OP was THAT parent while her kids were at the school and that she was on the secret list all schools have of parents who are an absolute fucking nightmare to deal with!

On the private life thing I guess we aren't going to agree. This is a person he knows only through his work, and only while working, and his sexualised comment was directly about their professional interaction at his workplace.

This isn't a complaint that she met a random guy in a bar and he said something sleazy, and he turned out to be a teacher. Then I'd agree with you.

5128gap · 02/05/2025 14:38

cardibach · 02/05/2025 14:11

Nobody is saying it’s acceptable or that they would behave like him. And they aren’t saying the nightclub incident was funny.
They are saying the OP’s approach is funny and the school will be thinking the same.

Depending on what the guy was like in general (he may well gave form for being a creep, because generally nice respectful guys don't tend to use a comment like that as their go to chat up line, do they?) they may well be glad to see him get a slap on the wrist. If only because it may stop him repeating it and really harming his career. I certainly can't imagine the decent responsible teachers I know convulsed with mirth at the idea a woman would complain about this.

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 14:36

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 14:32

I'm starting to wonder now if this was actually the other way around and she tried to chat the teacher up, was rejected and is now a woman scorned. Stranger things have happened.

Ooooooooo

Interesting

So a bit like Baby Reindeer?

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 14:35

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 14:33

Please can it be Tom Hardy?

I'd be bending over the desk before he said parents evening

Tom Hardy having graphic fantasies about me would be the dream.

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 14:33

CanYouTurnItDown · 02/05/2025 14:28

Who will play the teacher?

Please can it be Tom Hardy?

I'd be bending over the desk before he said parents evening

SuperTrooper14 · 02/05/2025 14:33

I'm starting to think you're jumping the shark now and this is all made up. MN seem to think you're a genuine poster, but I honestly don't believe anyone in real life could be so smug and self-congratulatory about potential fucking up someone's career. If this isn't one long wind-up, I fear for your husband and DC. One step out of line and you'll take a hit out on the poor sods.

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I'm starting to wonder now if this was actually the other way around and she tried to chat the teacher up, was rejected and is now a woman scorned. Stranger things have happened.

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 14:31

SophEll · 02/05/2025 14:29

Roll on 3pm!

3pm? Is that what time you finish school?

ExpressCheckout · 02/05/2025 14:31

It's a shame that you seem more concerned about yourself and 'being right' than showing any concern for your DC and the impact this might have on them. What a vacuous, empty, and tiresome life you must lead.

DappledThings · 02/05/2025 14:31

CanYouTurnItDown · 02/05/2025 14:28

Who will play the teacher?

Ready made cast

Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update
JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 14:31

CanYouTurnItDown · 02/05/2025 14:28

Who will play the teacher?

I can see it being Gary Oldman but as a similar character to his role as Jackson Lamb in Slow Horses.

Heylittlesongbird · 02/05/2025 14:30

To clarify my YABU vote was for you (op) are being unreasonable.

Anyway, glad you’re happy, sounds like a pyrrhic victory to me.

Hope the teachers ok. Yes, his comment was ill advised but he doesn’t deserve all this. I hope the heads just told him to be a bit more circumspect in future.

Everyothernamewasalreadyinuse · 02/05/2025 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Justmovehousethen · 02/05/2025 14:29

Champagne - After causing one hell of a pointless drama then accepting being fobbed off with the oldest speech in the book.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

SophEll · 02/05/2025 14:29

Roll on 3pm!

Amy Poehler Drinking GIF by IFC
OP posts:
CanYouTurnItDown · 02/05/2025 14:28

Hernameisdeborah · 02/05/2025 13:34

So inspiring. Do Netflix know about this story, they'll want to get this into production quick.

Who will play the teacher?

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 14:27

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 14:14

This is almost word for word how my teacher OH described her last night. Along with saying the Head will just fob her off with the standard off you fuck placating response because they don't have the time or resources to deal with malicious complaints

Off you fuck placating response

I love this🤣

Cosyblankets · 02/05/2025 14:27

Did you not insist on a copy of their new complaints procedure?

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