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Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

688 replies

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:08

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

OP posts:
hydriotaphia · 02/05/2025 16:06

The school haven’t accepted you were right, just determined your complaint should have been dealt with per their complaints procedure. That in no way means the outcome of the complaints procedure is in your favour. Any professional organisation has a complaints procedure - that does not mean all complaints are valid.

grapesandmelon · 02/05/2025 16:06

I bet the whole staff room is on MN now so they can read the 3 threads. They'll have been howling with laughter at lunch!

It's going to be a running joke for the guy for the rest of his time at that school now.
"Thanks for the document. Can you put it on my desk?"
"Oooo Mr X! I'm going to have to report you to the head for that!"

Muffinmam · 02/05/2025 16:03

Teanbiscuits33 · 02/05/2025 15:54

Absolutely and I’d guess she’s at the more severe end of whichever spectrum she is on. Her behaviour is absolutely unhinged. I’ve been sat open mouthed throughout her updates 🤣

I’m thinking she’s just trolling because her behaviour is so ridiculous.

Muffinmam · 02/05/2025 16:02

cardibach · 02/05/2025 15:20

Nobody has missed it. We are all just grown up enough to know it was a token apology to make you go away, because wasting any more time on this was out of the question.

I agree. The school want her to leave them alone because she’s completely unhinged.

Muffinmam · 02/05/2025 16:01

SophEll · 02/05/2025 14:46

As it stands, c.80% think the school should have been even mpre robust in there response which is interesting. It’s certainly some turnaround from some of the views previously!

People voted YABU because your behaviour is massively unreasonable.

I voted YABU because your behaviour was pathetic.

Tiswa · 02/05/2025 16:00

Teanbiscuits33 · 02/05/2025 15:48

She is most definitely giving Narcissistic vibes!

Yes definitely I have said it since the first thread, the need to correct a slight, persistent to win, the fact that she sees this as a victory, the need to have this thread to prove us wrong and the constant memes and the telling us she is right

Motherofalittledragon · 02/05/2025 15:59

Bigearringsbigsmile · 02/05/2025 13:16

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This one of the most batshit things I've ever read on here

Yep, and there’s been a fair few as well.

Cherrytree86 · 02/05/2025 15:55

They’re apologising to shut you up and pacify you OP @SophEll

if you really are gonna drink champagne tonight to celebrate this than that is unbelievably sad.

Teanbiscuits33 · 02/05/2025 15:54

iseethembloom · 02/05/2025 15:52

@Teanbiscuits33 my first thought also. Histrionic or Borderline are also strong contenders.

Absolutely and I’d guess she’s at the more severe end of whichever spectrum she is on. Her behaviour is absolutely unhinged. I’ve been sat open mouthed throughout her updates 🤣

CwmYoy · 02/05/2025 15:53

I’ve read some smug nonsense on MN but this takes an entire packet of biscuits.

OP look up irony in the dictionary. You’ve been played.

iseethembloom · 02/05/2025 15:52

@Teanbiscuits33 my first thought also. Histrionic or Borderline are also strong contenders.

Teanbiscuits33 · 02/05/2025 15:48

iseethembloom · 02/05/2025 15:47

The real question is

Am I Being Unreasonable? (Or)

Do I Have a Personality Disorder?

She is most definitely giving Narcissistic vibes!

Doggymummar · 02/05/2025 15:48

Generic fob off list, glad it's made you feel vindicated though, that's the intention

iseethembloom · 02/05/2025 15:47

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:16

For anyone unsure on the voting:

YABU - the school should have responded more strongly.

YANBU - it’s a reasonable outcome.

The real question is

Am I Being Unreasonable? (Or)

Do I Have a Personality Disorder?

Scottishskifun · 02/05/2025 15:46

BumbleBeegu · 02/05/2025 15:28

You sound utterly insufferable! The total glee in every one of your ‘Updates’ screams ‘attention seeking’.

I actually agree with you about how inappropriate this man’s behaviour was towards you, and I genuinely do hope that he gets some sort of warning, but your gloating and evident joy at your ‘result’ is just weird.

This with bells on!

isitme111 · 02/05/2025 15:46

You've received a pretty standard response from the school OP. To think otherwise is delusional. It would be interesting to know what the teacher said in response to your complaint about him... Anyway the main thing for everyone involved is that you're happy with the response from the governors and HT which you seem to be.

cardibach · 02/05/2025 15:45

mateysmum · 02/05/2025 15:43

You totally misunderstand and misrepresent my comment.

Nowhere did I say I wanted him sacked, in fact I said the school were quite within their rights to take no further action. I also stated that his remarks related to the time when her kids were at the school, not that they were there now.

'Thought police' really ????? I just disagree that the OP was BU

Edited

She wasn’t BU to be angry about the man’s crass and unprofessional comment. She WBU to make a mountain out of the molehill. He’d already realised he was in the wrong, hence claiming it was a joke and slinking away.

Everyothernamewasalreadyinuse · 02/05/2025 15:45

For the Film drama version of this tragedy i concur with Sean Bean or Kevin Bacon to play the teacher.

For the leading lady i would like to nominate Marjorie Taylor Greene - Yes she would have to work on the accent, but really feel she could capture the Unhinged, not able to read a room feeling needed

mateysmum · 02/05/2025 15:43

Jabberwok · 02/05/2025 15:21

Err no the ops original posts stated that her kids were no longer at that school. Oh wait, no, ah your the thought police and he should be sacked for thinking he'd like to have sex with a woman, several years ago.... Sorry George Orwell 1984 wasn't an piece of fiction after all

Ok not one person is saying this guy is a prince amongst men, but anyone who thinks the reaction from the op is anywhere proportional is mad.

Edited

You totally misunderstand and misrepresent my comment.

Nowhere did I say I wanted him sacked, in fact I said the school were quite within their rights to take no further action. I also stated that his remarks related to the time when her kids were at the school, not that they were there now.

'Thought police' really ????? I just disagree that the OP was BU

FigTreeInEurope · 02/05/2025 15:42

Thankyou for campaging so tirelessly for woman's rights, it's a victory for us all sister. You're basically like the suffrogettes, but i do think the school could have funded you for some counselling, given all you have been through.

mateysmum · 02/05/2025 15:40

SuperTrooper14 · 02/05/2025 15:06

Oh do keep up. The OP's children were no longer pupils at the school and hadn't been for ages.

Do read my post properly. I say quite clearly that the comments related to the time when her children were pupils.

Rosecoffeecup · 02/05/2025 15:38

Adding this to the list of things that didn't happen

Teanbiscuits33 · 02/05/2025 15:36

OP, you are a delusional attention seeker

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference - what difference? Nothing happened, they’ve sent the email to get some nutty woman to fuck off!

A lot of MN’ers who were on the previous threads will be doing this right now I think - no one’s backing off or hiding away, we’re here laughing at you while simultaneously being flabbergasted that someone could have this much front, and wondering if this is actually real or you’re enjoying winding people up? If real, you’ve made an absolute fool of yourself, as unanimously predicted in your previous two threads 🤣🤣

Hoppinggreen · 02/05/2025 15:32

SophEll · 02/05/2025 15:31

I saw numerous posts asking I returned with an update, as well as private messages when the previous one was locked.

Course you did. I imagine you got loads of PMs about how brave you are too and how proud we all are of you

SophEll · 02/05/2025 15:31

iseethembloom · 02/05/2025 15:29

You had to create a whole new thread about this, @SophEll?

Were you expecting people to ask you what the school said to you?*

*PLEASE understand this is not an invitation to tell us what was said. No one cares. The only reason you’ve got so much mileage out of this is because you’re ridiculous.

I saw numerous posts asking I returned with an update, as well as private messages when the previous one was locked.

OP posts: