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Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

688 replies

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:08

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

OP posts:
Missey85 · 02/05/2025 19:46

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 19:26

Did you write to the local papers as you said you would?

She's busy practicing her face for her daily mail photo as we speak 😂😂😂

Ihopeithinkiknow · 02/05/2025 19:41

I reckon OP overheard this teacher saying this to someone else or the friend she was with and has taken offence on their behalf because there’s no chance that someone as smug as the OP would be offended if it was said to her lol she would mention it at every chance she got because look how she is responding, the comment about the old bags on here not getting comments like that tells me that she thinks she is something else and is wondering why the comment wasn’t directed at her beautiful self lol

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 19:36

ilovesooty · 02/05/2025 19:30

Oh don't. Poor therapist.

😂😂

Dontlletmedownbruce · 02/05/2025 19:36

OP is currently researching where the teachers in her DCs new school like to go drinking and will be arriving shortly, recording device at the ready. Her DH wants to ask her to stop but doesn't have the balls.... she keeps them in a jar on her desk.

Soontobe60 · 02/05/2025 19:30

SophEll · 02/05/2025 18:03

Half of mumsnet right now 😂

Meanwhile, I’m sipping champers enjoying my victory.

Oh dear. I’m sorry OP, but in what way is this a victory? The HT has said just enough to shut you up and get rid of you. He’s most likely sitting in his garden knocking back a few bevvies, just as you are, whilst posting on the SLT WhatsApp about Johnny who left a couple of years ago making shit up about a teacher approaching her in a nightclub.
Oh what a laugh they’ll all be having!

ilovesooty · 02/05/2025 19:30

JifNtGif · 02/05/2025 19:25

OP have you ever considered counseling?

Oh don't. Poor therapist.

Longma · 02/05/2025 19:29

I don’t think the response you’ve had means quite what you think it does.

Basically the head of governors wants it off his/her desk. It clearly isn’t that important as there has been no time to have the matter discussed and dealt with in any real way. it’s just a quick, look at this, just get them off our case.

The HT has then done just that - quick call and email. Tell them op what she wants to hear, then forget about it.

You have no idea if the actual teacher has even been spoken to in anyway. More likely it was a quick ‘avoid the ex-parents next time your out drinking’ and an eye roll.

Yes, he was making dodgy comments to a woman whilst out drinking in a club. But involving his work place feels inappropriate in your part tbh.

Which other professions would you deem it appropriate to email their employer?

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 19:28

LatteLady · 02/05/2025 19:27

I still stand by my posts on the original string. Having worked through the Complaints Policy - Staff, Head, Chair... as the Chair, I would have reviewed it and dismissed it, suggested the HT had a quiet word about it to the staff member and then gone on to enjoy my Bank Holiday weekend, with no further action.

That's what's happened, really. All very swift so they could get rid of it before the weekend.

LatteLady · 02/05/2025 19:27

I still stand by my posts on the original string. Having worked through the Complaints Policy - Staff, Head, Chair... as the Chair, I would have reviewed it and dismissed it, suggested the HT had a quiet word about it to the staff member and then gone on to enjoy my Bank Holiday weekend, with no further action.

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 19:26

Did you write to the local papers as you said you would?

JifNtGif · 02/05/2025 19:25

OP have you ever considered counseling?

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 19:24

Longma · 02/05/2025 19:23

I cited before I read your attempt to skew the votes.

my YABU is just that - I believe YOU are unreasonable

Mine too. Nice try with the voting trick, though.

Longma · 02/05/2025 19:23

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:16

For anyone unsure on the voting:

YABU - the school should have responded more strongly.

YANBU - it’s a reasonable outcome.

I cited before I read your attempt to skew the votes.

my YABU is just that - I believe YOU are unreasonable

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 19:23

SophEll · 02/05/2025 17:42

Fortunately, the HT in this instance disagreed.

I may have no DC at the school now, but I’ve plenty of friends who do. He would be very silly to repeat his mistake!

That sounds like some sort of threat.

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 19:21

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 19:20

All very swift!

Prolly scared of OP and her Sopranos friends

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 19:20

I love the way OP changed the meaning of the votes 😂

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 19:20

slashlover · 02/05/2025 19:03

So you emailed the chair After 6pm on the Wednesday, had a reply by 12:30pm on the Thursday and had the head phone you before 1pm on the Friday?

Uh huh.

All very swift!

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 19:18

BoredZelda · 02/05/2025 18:52

Oh wow, and they did it so quickly. They must have been really thorough when considering this. And on a Friday afternoon too. It’s almost as if they wanted to shut it down for the weekend. 😂

😂😂

PonyPatter44 · 02/05/2025 19:14

I think this entire story has been more heavily embroidered than Kate Middleton's wedding dress, but if it makes the OP happy to share it, then great.

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 19:13

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 02/05/2025 19:12

Eaten. Not ate.

You shouldnt mock the pished

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 02/05/2025 19:12

SophEll · 02/05/2025 18:04

In hindsight, maybe I should have taken him up on his kind offer.

I’d have ate him alive!

Eaten. Not ate.

WigglywagglyWanda · 02/05/2025 19:10

So I wonder if OP and her silent hubby have finished their sausage and chips and are tottering their way to the Offie for a bottle of Buckfast.

OPs a cheek calling us old bags if she's been in the corporate world for squillions of years, she's no spring chick herself

No wonder she's......err part time consulting, its corporate speak for I'm doing fuck all at the minute

(By the way i think op is a troll and it's hilarious that she's getting all riled up on her made up thread)

Tricho · 02/05/2025 19:05

You remind me of the character in the Lady of Letters talking heads monologue

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 02/05/2025 19:04

I wonder how soon after that first contact someone at the school said, Oh FFS, I thought we'd seen the last of her when her kids left?

slashlover · 02/05/2025 19:03

So you emailed the chair After 6pm on the Wednesday, had a reply by 12:30pm on the Thursday and had the head phone you before 1pm on the Friday?

Uh huh.