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Original poster

Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

688 replies

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:08

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

OP posts:
Redrosesposies · 02/05/2025 20:38

Still think you were and are totally out of order. Your children are no longer at school so you are old enough to know better and be able to deal with some drunken banter when out on the lash.
It speaks volumes that you had to rope your 'man' in to fight on your behalf and only then did it reach some sort of resolution.

Hufflemuff · 02/05/2025 20:37

Time to get a job OP... You're probably thick as two short planks though and that's why your husband needed to write that email for you.

iseethembloom · 02/05/2025 20:36

Goodness I hope these threads are never pulled.

some of the comments have been so funny…. Holding a cucumber in the supermarket (I’d like to take you up the arse with it)… using the science teacher’s face as a chair when asked to sit down, the casting of the characters in a film, etc. etc.

@op‘s posts have also been comic… champagne on ice, ‘what she has bravely endured’. Her manipulation of the poll to become ‘heads I win; tails you lose’.

its been great value, @op Thank you.

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:33

There was a teacher in a school my kids went to who used to visibly look me up and down with a sort of smirk whenever I was talking to him about my daughter. His behaviour was always 'just under the radar' enough to make you doubt what he was doing.

It was only on a night out with other mums that we discovered everyone felt the same. He was also a creep towards certain female teachers, I saw it with my own eyes on numerous occasions. They just put up with it. He was also married with a baby.

Anyway, nobody complained because 'what can you do?' etc etc 'nothing happened' etc etc.

Until it did. He groped a woman in a bar who turned out to be 19. She brought charges. He disappeared from the school and I heard his wife left him.

So good for you OP, because the behaviour you were subject to in that bar did not come from nowhere. It will not have been an isolated incident.

All the 100s of women sympathising with the 'poor man' on here - more fool you.

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 20:31

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:21

I bet there's more than a few female teachers in that school who know exactly what he's like OP, and will be celebrating with you.

If he was saying this in school then there would be an issue

But you're making shit up again 🤣

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 20:30

Didimum · 02/05/2025 20:21

Great news, OP. It’s not ok to have teachers going around saying grim things like that to women. If you don’t want to strictly police your mouth then don’t become a public servant.

The posters desperately trying to rouse further insults and still insist you are wrong is all rather cringe. Have a great bank holiday weekend.

Edited

OP hasn't been vindicated in any way and the man probably doesn't exist anyway

isitme111 · 02/05/2025 20:29

Troll or not OP you are seriously tragic either way. I would advise you to consider investing in some therapy.

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 20:27

EmmaJane2025 · 02/05/2025 20:15

What on earth would anyone apologise for?! You’ve massively overreacted and threw a tantrum in the form of attempting to ruin a teacher’s career and livelihood. The only person with a tail between their legs is you, love!

They've apologised that she FEELS she wasn't heard

Aka "we aren't admitting anything or apologising for what happened but we are sorry you feel that way"

No right minded HT of CofG would apologise for what they actually did because it's admission of guilt

Whoknows101 · 02/05/2025 20:26

I'm sure somebody has already asked but just in case - what possible reason have you got for needing the apology in writing??!!

Your posts on this "part 3" seem so well designed to come across as unbearably cringeworthy and intolerably smug I'm now pretty sure this whole thing has been a wind up from the start....

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 20:24

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:21

I bet there's more than a few female teachers in that school who know exactly what he's like OP, and will be celebrating with you.

How do you know?
He'd already have been sacked if he did anything like this in a school. He's obviously perfectly fine in his job if he's still working there.

Purplesphere11 · 02/05/2025 20:23

OP you've behaved badly and you know it but damn I hate a pile on. Only fans comments et al. There but for the grace of God. Just spiteful. Please stop ladies. There's no fucking need.

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:21

I bet there's more than a few female teachers in that school who know exactly what he's like OP, and will be celebrating with you.

Didimum · 02/05/2025 20:21

Great news, OP. It’s not ok to have teachers going around saying grim things like that to women. If you don’t want to strictly police your mouth then don’t become a public servant.

The posters desperately trying to rouse further insults and still insist you are wrong is all rather cringe. Have a great bank holiday weekend.

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 20:20

JudgeJ · 02/05/2025 20:15

Why not, she's made so many changes to her sorry saga, one more doesn't really matter. I bet the school put the flag up when her final child left!

Show quote history

Omg yes 😅!

EmmaJane2025 · 02/05/2025 20:18

SophEll · 02/05/2025 18:03

Half of mumsnet right now 😂

Meanwhile, I’m sipping champers enjoying my victory.

What victory?!?! You lost! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 How embarrassing for you, OP. Yikes 😬

EmmaJane2025 · 02/05/2025 20:16

YourAzureEagle · 02/05/2025 20:00

I'm a deputy head, you haven't won anything OP, the scenario is almost certainly that the head and chair have just bashed out an apologetic email to get rid of you, have done the same many times.
The reason you won't know the outcome of the investigation is because there won't be one, there will have been a quick chat along the lines of this parent is a nightmare, steady how you go around them, we don't need agro.
Sending you a few apologies is a low energy easy way to bin off a complainant, pretty routine in education, business, every walk of life - sorry!

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

EmmaJane2025 · 02/05/2025 20:15

What on earth would anyone apologise for?! You’ve massively overreacted and threw a tantrum in the form of attempting to ruin a teacher’s career and livelihood. The only person with a tail between their legs is you, love!

JudgeJ · 02/05/2025 20:15

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 19:20

I love the way OP changed the meaning of the votes 😂

Why not, she's made so many changes to her sorry saga, one more doesn't really matter. I bet the school put the flag up when her final child left!

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:13

Good for you OP. Hopefully he'll think twice next time.

Justmovehousethen · 02/05/2025 20:07

Bet your husband has a secret account with onlyfans

@Throwmoneyatit 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 20:02

YourAzureEagle · 02/05/2025 20:00

I'm a deputy head, you haven't won anything OP, the scenario is almost certainly that the head and chair have just bashed out an apologetic email to get rid of you, have done the same many times.
The reason you won't know the outcome of the investigation is because there won't be one, there will have been a quick chat along the lines of this parent is a nightmare, steady how you go around them, we don't need agro.
Sending you a few apologies is a low energy easy way to bin off a complainant, pretty routine in education, business, every walk of life - sorry!

This, exactly. There's no way that teacher had any professional consequences. It was done very quickly and to shut the OP up.

YourAzureEagle · 02/05/2025 20:00

I'm a deputy head, you haven't won anything OP, the scenario is almost certainly that the head and chair have just bashed out an apologetic email to get rid of you, have done the same many times.
The reason you won't know the outcome of the investigation is because there won't be one, there will have been a quick chat along the lines of this parent is a nightmare, steady how you go around them, we don't need agro.
Sending you a few apologies is a low energy easy way to bin off a complainant, pretty routine in education, business, every walk of life - sorry!

ByGiddyAquaWriter · 02/05/2025 19:54

Totally just wanted to get rid of you and end the complaint. You need to get a hobby

CatsMagic · 02/05/2025 19:51

I used to be a school Governor, and spent a while as deputy chair and I think the OP is spinning us all a tall tale with regards to the outcome - there is no way that this would have been handled this swiftly by the Governors , or the unreserved apology given from the head for the situation/circumstances described.

Throwmoneyatit · 02/05/2025 19:48

SophEll · 02/05/2025 18:04

In hindsight, maybe I should have taken him up on his kind offer.

I’d have ate him alive!

Show quote history

No you wouldn't 😆

You took offence to someone drunk saying they'd bend you over the table and then complained to his work 🤣 as if you're the type of person to eat anyone alive 😆 oh this thread just gets funnier and funnier.

You're not actually being serious, are you?!

Bet your husband has a secret account with onlyfans

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