To want fiance to get rid of his cats

You've cleared out your office so that he can have a gaming room? Why would you do that? Why move in together at all, given the cat issues, particularly as you're allergic to them. I think you're setting yourself up for a miserable time.

”I want any of our pets to go upstairs or lie on beds etc (its been a hard rule for my dog, and I would be enforcing it for the cats, especially due to my allergies)”

Yeah good luck training cats to not go upstairs! You can use baby gates to keep dogs in certain areas of the house, but cats will just jump over/through them, so I don’t know how you think you can enforce that. Quite honestly the only really fair solution to this is to allow the cats to live upstairs and the dog to stay downstairs. That way the cats can get peace & quiet if they want it. Introduce the cats to the dog carefully, and teach your child not to pester the cats. Give them safe spaces like cat trees and nest beds and take an antihistamine every day.

This is a disaster in the making as I’d imagine he’s grown quite fond of the cats BUT it’s not about who’s pets take precedence the big factor many of the previous commenter are ignoring are your allergies.

Folks don’t realise how debilitating allergies can be!!

If you do rehome I would try to find a family directly, rather than giving the cats to a shelter.

Yes, why on earth would you get rid of your office so he can have a gaming room?? That would be a total dealbreaker for me. Office so I can work every single time over partners hobby??

I had a partner once who, after a few months into the relationship, asked me to choose between him and my pets.
I'm sat here now with a cat and dog curled up on my lap, and partner is an ex-partner!

The only fair suggestion is to both rehome your pets. If you’re allergic to cats and he keeps them then you can’t feasibly live together - but it’s a hell of a lot to demand of someone else.

I wouldn’t give up my pets.

Unless they got engaged one year into the relationship he was just her boyfriend. They've been together three years, this was two years ago.

And he didn't find out until after he bought them that she was allergic to his cats. She states that in her original post which she states she wants him to "get rid of his cats".

Obviously, he can't just "get rid" of his cats and if he could he'd be a psychopath. So, I guess they will have to find a solution that suits all the living creatures in the scenario, not just her.

I have been in your situation! I too am/was allergic to cats (I’m talking swollen streaming eyes, swollen lips, sneezing the lot!) I also had my dog, my partner his 2 cats. He tried his hardest for me to re home my dog, until I put the same to him about his cats! Neither of us compromised on that.
we moved into his house. We couldn’t have no pets upstairs’ ‘rule’ it simply wouldn’t have worked. The cats were free to come and go as they pleased (they weren’t house cats) we kept them separate. Whilst we’re at work the cats had the utility room and a cat flap my dog in the house. At home we swapped them so dog could go out and lots of walks.
my allergy which I thought would quite seriously do me in, if I wasn’t careful, actually improved. I fussed them and spent time with them and kept my hands clean, didn’t touch my face etc, I wouldn’t let the cats in our room , took a year or so but it actually improved a lot. Still about sneezy and I think if I fussed cats now I’d react abit, but simply because im
not around cat very often now (the ex & I split)
I think you’d be unreasonable to ask him to ditch the cats. & vice verse. You may need to relax your approach re pets upstairs a little maybe even just in his gaming room and he needs to get them used to being outside, even if it’s a cat run… but likely will be a lot better outcome than you think

Yes he should due to your allergies

why would you get TWO cats when your future spouse is allergic 🙄

This thread has been weird.

First OP says she has to ask her partner to get rid of the cats, and then said it was his idea to possibly rehome them (if so, why is there a thread at all?).

Then it's "I can't get rid of my dog as it's on the last few years of its life!" turning to "its the runt of the litter so we may have way more years with the dog!"

OP can't decide what her situation is... Either that, or she's doing a terrible job of covering up that she just wants rid of the cats and isn't being very caring about it.

OP, I would leave a partner before getting rid of the pets.

To be fair, I'd leave a partner if the only way of moving forward with them would be making the cats live in an environment where they were miserable - and I agree, a small house with a big dog they are terrified of sounds horrible for them.

Sounds like your partner will rehome the cats for you and your relationship though, so that's that and I'm unsure why there's a thread about it in the first place. It's a non-issue if he's the one that agrees with you.

Whereas I find dogs loud and invasive and dirty and smelly as well as being super needy - but I still understand that others love them.

It's really not a cat vs dog issue, it's a reality vs two humans who want to get their own way issue.

trust me, living apart is a far better arrangement., I don't favour cats. From my experience, bringing dead birds in the house, scratching around in litter then walking over food preparation areas.

Again, you are trying to jam 5 living beings into a small home and all have conflicting needs and wants.

This will not work. My best advice is do NOT do this.

Yes, the title gave away a bit more than she intended, methinks.

Your post speaks of "getting rid" of the cats. Thats not a good vibe.

OP, I think had you stated in the original.post that uour PARTNER had suggested rehousing you wouldn't be getting as much stick over this.

As a PP has said try it, you might all be pleasantly surprised and everyone may get on x

It's a hard situation to face. I had friends who had to rehome their 2 cats because one of their DC (who came after the cats) was highly allergic causing asthma symptoms.

I was allergic to most pets including birds, cats dogs etc. We now have a dog without any issues, cats I get a scratchy throat, sore eyes but easily controlled with an antihistamine.

She hasn't tried living with the cats, so has no idea really. It's just not a tenable situation, regardless, her allergies strike me as an attempt to win the argument over who keeps their pets.

I am going to agree with this. Some pet allergies are horendous even with taking antihistamines.

My first husband was allergic to cats, something we did not know before we got a cat. He managed it with medication and after about a month he no longer had any severe reaction to the cat. It is entirely possible she will become more tolerant to the cats over time.

It doesn't matter though, this isn't about allergies. They are planning to cram five living beings into a space which would suit 2 or perhaps 3 at most and they all have conflicting needs and wants.

It is not going to work.

If he was allergic to your dog, would you rehome your dog?

This isn't going to work. At all. Rethink everything.

I don't FEEL you are unreasonable! I think people are completely missing the fact YOU ARE ALLERGIC!!

I’m allergic to cats, the very thought of having an animal pooping in a box in the house makes me ill, cats walking over counter tops makes my skin crawl. However, I would never in a million years ask anyone to rehome their animals for my benefit.

Animals don’t have long lives, I’d tolerate and embrace it all if I genuinely wanted that relationship to work. Think of what he’s happily taking on by moving in with you before you challenge him about two little cats.

If he'd bin off his cats he'd bin off you. Your test isn't what you think it is.

Also, if you move in and live with those cats you won't be allergic to them. You get used to them and they cause you no issues allergy wise.