To want fiance to get rid of his cats

I think you either re-home all 3 pets or none...
I do wonder about his seriousness about the relationship though with getting kittens at a time you were discussing moving in, but it's a bit late now.

I am allergic to cats btw. I've also had cats for the last decade. I find being around my cat makes me immune to her. I still react to 'strange' cats though, and have to take antihistamines for the first few days when back from holiday whilst my body adjusts to my own cat again.

If your allergy can't be controlled by reasonable means (like antihistamines) then he might need to look at rehoming, but don't be under the pretence it's any easier for him than you rehoming your dog.

From other comments it seems the allergy thing may be manageable in the longer term if you take antihistamines for a while. Looking at the bigger picture I'd be more worried about having a Rottweiler and two cats in a house together - it sounds like it could be a nightmare. Think you are right to try introducing them slowly and see how it goes before making any decisions.

I absolutely wouldn't be getting rid of my cat and if he's had his for a couple of years and bonded with them then I suspect he feels the same. I got my current cat almost two years ago when I'd only been with my partner a month or two - it was so early in the relationship that I didn't really think to consult him about it I admit. He loves cats but had made the decision not to get another after his last cat died (costs, convenience, the upset of saying goodbye to them). We're planning to move in together within the next year so surprise, he will effectively have a cat again after all. Luckily he loves the cat in question and has accepted that we come as a package! Not the same situation I know but sometimes compromises have to be made.

I have cats and I am allergic to them. DD2 loves cats; our ones were her dad's before he passed away. There is no way in hell I would've rehomed her precious cats just after she'd lost her dad. They came to us, it was never even a question.

I did find that, in time, my allergy lessened. I built up a tolerance to my own cats. I'm still allergic to strange cats, but not as much as I was previously. My allergy used to be so bad that I was "allergic" to people who owned cats. Now, I can tolerate being in the same room as a strange cat as long as it doesn't climb all over me.

In the beginning, I used Piriton and air purifiers in every room, plus lots of vacuuming. It is do-able, OP and if you actually cared for your DP you wouldn't even consider asking him to rehome his beloved cats.

Adults doing what They want again, to hell with any consequences.

This whole situation sounds ridiculous and has disaster written all over it, I feel sorry for the child and all the animals.

Post menopause I've become allergic to our pets so I take fexofenedine daily. It's not the dogs or cats fault. There's worse allergies to have.

YABU. He should not move in with you and your dog.

I dont think you should move in together if allergic to cats it will be miserable. Try staying at his for a week or two and see if the antihistamines help enough.

If you cant live with the cats he may come to the decision to rehome but I dont think you should ask him to.

Given a choice between rehoming the cats or rehoming the fiancée, I'd have to go with rehoming the fiancée.

You don't get to unilaterally decide his pets don't matter as much as yours.

You are being very unreasonable, especially using the phrase "get rid" of live animals like they're a bit of rubbish to be thrown away.

That’s hilarious! ‘Darling you have to get rid of the two animals you love but in return I’ll let you pick the broadband provider’!

I'd be rehoming YOU. How selfish. You are also incompatible. Edited: I see you are allergic to cats, sorry. But it's still a difficult situation. I wouldn't rehome my cats for anyone, though. Or the dog.

He didn't know about your allergies but he did know you had a large playful dog. Didn't you think it was a strange decision of his to re-home two cats at the same time you were discussing moving in together? Of course dogs and cats can get along but it's a big risk isn't it. Sorry, it sounds like a very difficult situation but I would say maybe continue living apart for a while.

This is absolute rubbish. I grew up with dogs. They would go to anyone and adored affection.

My cats pine for me, don't eat. Come racing to the door to see me, follow me around the house and are always within a few meters of me. They prefer me over anyone else and take a very long time to warm up.

I was connected to a cat charity and we saw cats literally die of heartbreak after their owners died or left them. They would stop eating and become depressed beyond help.

It is profoundly ignorant to say that cats don't bond like dogs do and it contributes to people treating them like shit in favor of "man's best friend".

Hmm, you say they are house cats so don't go outside? I think it would be really stressful for the cats if they will be trapped in the downstairs of an unfamiliar house with a child and a rottweiler, with no access to upstairs or outside. Cats need somewhere they can "escape" to if they want some quiet.

I do understand about not letting them on beds as I have a slight allergy, but our cats spend a lot of time outside. It also means everyone remembering to shut all the bedroom doors all the time which will lead to conflict if people forget and the cats get on your bed.

I think the only fair options are to agree to rehome the cats or agree to live separately, at least until rottweiler is no longer with you. Tricky situation.

It looks like really, you’re incompatible atm. You say you can’t live together unless one of you gets rid of (‘re-homed’) your pet/s. As if a (good) pet owner would do that. IF they would - they’d be a hard no relationship-wise anyway. It’d say a lot about them (and the person that asked them), none of it good.

There are so many reasons not to move in together- you have a largish ‘playful’ Rottweiler , the house is quite small, he has 2 (indoor) cats, you are allergic to the cats. The cats will hate being the dog’s play target too. It can only end badly.

Best thing to do is continue as you are, save for a bigger house as opposed to a wedding. In time your daughter will be more used to your partner (another critical point), the dog will die and the cats can go outside if you have a bigger garden.

I mean how did this kind of thing ever become acceptable in a relationship?

I get the impression of men -children spending stupid amounts of time and money playing army games on a computer instead of engaging in a grown up partnership.

A man nowhere near ready to be a proper adult, basically.

Yeah, ours is 15 and still going strong...

Why should he give up his cats but you won't give up your dog? Hypocritical much.

I don't think you should move in together at all. It spells disaster. Mainly because everything you said revolves around what is best for you and have you ever heard of compromise?

Keep your own homes you will be much happier for it. My friend did it for fifteen years and they had a child together too. It worked for them.

Would you rehome your dog if he was allergic? If not, why do you think it's ok to ask him to do the same? It doesn't sound like you should be moving in together at all. I'm allergic to cats and dogs and wouldn't be able to live in a house with them. So I just wouldn't move in with him.

I would rehome my own mother before I got rid of my cats for anyone. It's honestly disgusting you are even thinking it is remotely reasonable.

You get a pet and assume responsibility for it for its lifetime. You don't just cast it aside because a new partner decides they don't want to live with them. How about you rehome your dog and child and then the house will be nice and peaceful for the cats?

No the cats can't move in if you're allergic. I definitely wouldn't have someone else's cats move into my home they will probably pee all over your furniture marking there area or else ull have your dog going at the litter box them things are filthy

I sympathise with having allergies and wouldn't want to live with pets I'm allergic to. But, there's no way I would re-home my cats for a partner.
I think you have a very difficult situation here OP.