To want fiance to get rid of his cats

Is this accurate, about the rescues there not approving of cats not being allowed outdoors?

I'm in the US, and here it's largely considered irresponsible to let cats go outdoors at all (unless there's a safely enclosed space like a "catio,"). Just curious.

Surprised no one had mentioned this cat food yet, it massively reduces allergies. Definitely worth a try I've know lots of people see their allergies disappear once they feed it to their cats.

Purina pro plan: clear. www.purina.co.uk/brands/pro-plan/cat/liveclear

My pets would be rehomed over my dead body though 🤪❤️

@ellie09 I’m allergic to cats. I would never have asked my partner to give up her cat. If I did, she would kick me to the curb and end our relationship. One friend moved in with her partner, took her cat, they’ve now split. I suspect the outcome would be the same here if you force the giving up the cats, or move in with cats. It doesn’t work on a fundamental level.

You can get a series oh shots to get rid of a cat allergy, however you do need a lot of them.

The solution is to let the cats out - why are they house cats? Cats need to roam, they are wild and they need stimulation.

The more I hear about his planning traits, the more I think you need to give serious thoughts to this house move OP.

Look at your dog's history - rehomed after unexpected house move. And his cats - rehomed potentially after unexpected house move.

Fact is, your current place might be cheap (allowing you to save for a wedding when you've never lived together...), but it isn't suitable if you have to give up your office for a gaming room.

So if you move, you could potentially lose the ability to move back to accommodation that suits your present needs, AND he'd have rehomed the cats, AND your son would have been disrupted...

It just doesn't square to me. Do you plan to have children with him?

I really think you need to live together in a home that's suitable at a minimum for the two adults and child, before you even think of the pets. And forget cramped living to save for a wedding, that's insane.

All about you and your needs, isn't it? I think your fiance should ditch you

Bet she's pregnant, or planning to be soon.

TBH I think you were U to get a Rottweiler in the first place.

Why would you expect him to rehomed his cats then? I'm allergic to cats but I have two, I take antihistamines. I also have a big breed dog and they get on great. If I were him, I'd keep the cats and upgrade the girlfriend.

I hope he breaks up with you for his own good! I’d never in a million’s years rehome my cats for any partner. You sound very selfish and entitled!

You cannot make him just rehome them! That's utterly cruel.

I'd be rehoming you and your dog before getting rid of my cats!

So he rehomed the cats before you were living together and you already had the dog is that right? And he wouldn’t have assumed there would be any difficulty with allergies or with the cats living with a dog (or vice versa) since your dog had already lived with a cat? So there was nothing particularly flawed in him taking on the cats, although it could be said it is them who should be rehomed simply because you had the dog first, if you want to look at it that way. It would have been useful for you both to have had the conversation about what might happen in the future if you decided to live together with the three pets, before he rehomed them.
Also, I don’t think I’d be happy if my cats couldn’t have free run of the house. They like to roam around, and sleep on beds and look out high windows over their ‘territory’.
So, while I do agree with you that if any pets should be rehomed it should be the cats, I can totally understand why he might not want to and feels committed to his cats as any reasonable pet owner should be.
So, your options are
The cats get rehomed.
You just don’t live together- not such a radical option, plenty of couples don’t.
You give it a try, but with regular use of antihistamines or other allergy options. Is there an injection you can get? I honestly wouldn’t limit their access to upstairs if I could avoid it. It’s not comparable to your dogs situation. The dog isn’t going to think ‘that’s unfair’ and there is no particular need for him to be upstairs whereas cats have slightly different needs.

*OP’s dog.

She had her dog years before she met her fiance. Why do the cats he’s had for only a couple of years take priority over his dog?

Two young cats are easier to rehome than an old Rottweiler.

You can't keep cats downstairs. The only thing you can do is make sure the doors upstairs are kept closed at all times.

What you have to do is have training crate. Put the securely dog in it, while the cats are in the room, for 15 minutes x 4 everyday. You do this for as long as it takes for the dog to completely relax around the cats and show no state of arousal. After that you keep the dog on a lead while in the room with the cats. Eventually they all become part of the ‘pack’ with the family.

Is there a way to become de-sensitised to allergy to cats? I have heard of this being possible with some allergies.

How devoted to his cats is he? Does he love them as though they are his children?

Just the way you’ve phrased it… ‘get rid’.

You just don’t like the cats, they’re an inconvenience to you, snd you need to admit it

It’s interesting how every person that ‘hates’ cats also seems to be allergic to them. And how cat people almost never have anything against dogs, but dog people often passionately hate cats. Just why 🙈

I’d reconsider the idea of not letting the cats upstairs, especially given you have an open plan downstairs. Perhaps they can have free rein of the ‘gaming room’ upstairs as their safe space if the dog and noise of downstairs gets to be too much? It’s quite hard to stop cats from getting upstairs anyway, what is your plan to stop them climbing over gates?

Something else to keep in mind is that if your partner rehomes the cats, they might struggle to get adopted since they’ll want to be adopted as a pair and not many rescues approve of cats not being allowed outside. So you really need to try everything possible to make this work.

Your allergy will probably calm down being exposed to cats all the time - this is from personal experience. Obviously you’ll need antihistamines for a while though.

My dog and cats get on pretty well, but a gentle introduction is a good idea. It took a little while.

Give it time, have some patience and see how it goes.

People who don't know what they are talking about always react like this. I'm talking with the benefit of 30 years of hands on experience with a breed that you've never owned. But you carry on googling your amazing facts eh 😉

Where are you going to work if downstairs is open plan and your partner has taken over your office for his gaming hobby? How do you propose keeping the cats downstairs? A gate at the bottom of the stairs keeping your dog downstairs will be easily jumped over by cats, especially as they will be trying to get away from the dog. If you are working downstairs all day and the cats are also downstairs all day, your allergies are likely to be very troublesome. The whole idea seems very ill conceived.

I'd be dubious about being in a committed relationship with anyone who has a record of making impetuous decisions and then dealing with the fall out by getting rid....yes is a massive stretch from a drumkit but maybe not so far when you consider he got kittens so quickly and is now considering getting rid of them....I mean no he's not going to drown them in a bucket or dump them somewhere but its still dealing with a problem by getting rid.