To want fiance to get rid of his cats

You say he adopted the cats, I think it would be cruel to send them back to rescue for the second time in their lives. Okay if he had no choice due to homelessness, job loss, illness etc but he'd be actively making the choice! Wouldn't you find that unattractive?

The introduction would need to be very tightly managed but I don't think Rottweilers and cats are necessarily a no-go combo. Not as much as some other breeds.

But honestly the setup doesn't sound amazing if you both need space to work from home as well.

Over my lifetime I have had 10 cats (not all at once), and on the 10th cat I developed such severe allergies to them I can't visit anyone with cats. Where ever hair touches it swells I get rounds of hives and it feels like I've got razors in my lungs when I breathe.

I can take antihistamines and it definitely reduces the effects but I also get really groggy even when they say non-drowsy.

Cat allergies are weird and because of that I'd just not have them move in.

I wouldn't expect the partner to get rid of his beloved companions but I would see this as a reason that we were not compatible.

Rotties sadly don’t tend to be long lived, not many make it past 8/9 (used to work at a vets) for those posters that say to get rid of the dog….if they don’t get on it would easier and less stressful to rehome two 2 year old cats.
If they get on and you have a garden I would catproof it so they can’t leave the garden (you use a bracket at an angle and wire so they can’t climb out) it would be healthier for them to have some access to the outside, plus would cut down on the exposure to them. Most people are allergic to the saliva on their coat from cleaning rather than the fur itself.
If they get on they will need a quiet space to settle with a couple of litter trays (recommendation is 1 per cat and 1 spare) and I’d also recommend a feliway plug in.
We used to foster for a rescue and most of the dogs that came through soon learnt to leave the cat alone. We have a dog gate that has a cat flap in so she could move around without the dogs following her.
its not unusual for people to have animals have had to to take a daily antihistamine, if they get on and that’s an option.
At least with a cat proofed garden you can leave doors and windows open without worrying, you may find you struggle less with them spending time outside.

I used to have a rottweiler. She was beautiful, soft as soap. She's been gone a long time now but I'm still utterly convinced she'd never have hurt a fly. I didn't have kids when I had her, but I did often wonder what I would do if I got pregnant.

Because you can never tell. To 'yawn' away the statistics that rotties are a breed that can and do cause serious and fatal attacks is arrogant and foolish.

We once took in a little white and tabby cat who'd spent time as a stray. Almost as soon as she had a roof over her head, she decided that she did not approve of That There Outdoors. 😁 Cats are as individual as we are.

We once took in a little white and tabby cat who'd spent time as a stray. Almost as soon as she had a roof over her head, she decided that she did not approve of That There Outdoors. 😁 Cats are as individual as we are.

If you’re allergic don’t do it - it’ll make your life miserable! Plus the added stress of the dog… If he’s not allergic to your dog then surely the dog stays and the cats go.

I don’t think anyone is necessarily being unreasonable here - but it just sounds a really sad situation.

To be honest, it doesn’t sound like your lives are that compatible. Does your fiance have children? It’ll be a huge change for him living with someone and their child and Rottweiler when he is used to wfh in a quiet environment. AND having to rehome his cats.

I personally wouldn’t do it if I was him - I’d maintain a relationship in separate households. I understand there are financial considerations I guess the questions is - those aside - will you, your fiancé and your child ALL be happier living together? If so, and the cats are a sacrifice he’s willing to make, then I think you are totally right to address it now

OK... so what's the backup plan if him moving in just doesn't work? Not as in, it'll be OK if we tweak this or that, but what if living together in this space really doesn't work for you or DC or DDog? Will he move out again? What you're proposing is high-risk and you need a safe backup plan for all the people and creatures involved. Without a graceful way out you shouldn't move him in, saving money isn't everything.

Good luck with keeping the cats downstairs, unless you have a totally enclosed staircase and door. You’d probably be better off making the game room into the cat space, if the dog is kept downstairs. I was adamant our cat wouldn’t come upstairs, and now she sleeps on my bed because I’m a soft touch ( and she is a very affectionate and clean cat!)

You mention having a desk in your bedroom so you’re not distracted by gaming while on client calls. Does your partner not work at all during your working day?

If you have to ask, he doesn't love you enough.

This isn't a question you should have to ask.

Its that simple. He should be seeing it himself. If he's not, its not the relationship for you. It won't last the ultimatiums and demands.

If the only way you can live together is for him to get rid of the cats and he doesn't want to then now is not the time.

I don't think it's got anything to do with your relationship, but I'd be heartbroken if I had to get rid of my cat to move in with someone and would choose to stay living apart. You don't have to break up, but living together isn't an option right now.

You shouldn’t be moving in together simple. .!
He has his own responsibilities and so do you .
You can’t join a home with what you have described so you should remain living seperate!.

“Slightly selfish” doing some heavy lifting here….

All these people saying that cats are 'wild' and 'need to roam'

My house cat escaped the other day and jumped over the gate. In his panic to get back, he accidentally jumped into next doors garden and cried/yowled until he worked out how to jump the fence again!

He is quite happy inside!

Some of these responses are wild... 😂

I'm a dog person but I would never expect a partner to rehome any animals for my sake. Pets are family.

Cats are domestic, not wild.

DP has high functioning ASD also

Yes, I thought so.

Ive set up a smaller desk space for me in our bedroom (which is all I need).

It's all you need right now. But have you worked before in a room that you sleep in and share with another person?

Are you sure you don't have autism? You have the same focus on separate details (cats, gaming, child, bedroom) without looking at the whole picture. And the same problem that people with autism often have seeing what's coming. It only takes one thing to go wrong for your whole living plan to fall apart.

When he (and his cats) are here all the time you will need more space in the house to call your own than you do now when it's just you and your child.

Cats almost entirely have sensitive stomachs if you change their food, you just need t do it gradually.

I am mildly irritated by cat hair etc btw - unless I live with them! Had no problems 0-18, then flared up when I visited home for the first 24h.

Didn't settle down til I got cats of my own. So you might not be properly allergic with regular contact.