To not give any devices to child off school

This really made me smile though. You’re right the MN approach often seems to be very much like a boot camp.

I agree very much with a poster above. You either believe she is ill and allow her a day off to rest and recoup, in which case a day sat in front of the telly can provide exactly that OR you think she’s well enough to go to school and send her in.

If my child is off school I make sit in the garage with no electronics to make sure he isn't lying!

Really good point about periods.

I wasn’t allowed to watch TV if I was off school - it was reading or listening to the radio, I listened to a weird amount of Radio 4 for a child. Tbh in your shoes OP I wouldn’t mind her being propped up in front of crap daytime TV but would switch off the router for Netflix etc.

When my kids where ill they did whatever made them comfortable, bed, on sofa, watching TV, iPad etc. It didn't make them want to stay home more. My son has 4 days off ill all the way through high school. If I'm feeling ill I want my creature comforts, why carnt kids want the same thing?

Good grief, I assume we're talking about a fairly 'normal' non school refusing etc situation here.

If I was off work sick then I'd want to do whatever I wanted to make it a bit easier, if that was watch TV, go on my phone etc then so be it. Just because I had one nice day off wouldn't then mean that I started staying off work sick once per week just to do it. If she's a sensible girl, then DD will know the same, ordinarily she has to go to school, this is just a one off, don't make it worse for her.

I might've been able to watch TV if we owned one lol. We weren't " punished"

Give her a book, and normal daytime TV. No iPlayer etc. Turn off the WiFi or change the password if you can 😁

Any of these fake sick days on your days off - insist she stays in her bedroom as she needs to recover and sleep. Make sure it's really really boring. Could you get a dumb phone so she can call you in an emergency, if you're worried about that? Or tell her to knock at a friendly neighbour.

I am rarely off work ill, i had strict parents however when i was sick they still kept me on the sofa/bed with the tv! I was never punished for being ill
i didn’t grow up thinking it was better it was ok to throw sickies.

It's a bit mean to go out for 3 hours and just leave her with nothing. Let her watch TV. How would you even know she had put it on if you ban it?

Exactly this. As I said once we set our rule and DS knew it wasn’t going to be changed, he settled down and has only been off when he’s been really ill, and also ill enough to not want to bother with any of those things.

Nah, I don’t buy it.

Sick days when I was little involved the sofa, blankets and TV, plus snacks if it was something like a cold or chickenpox. It never made me “swing the lead” and I barely had any time off at all.

What she do with her time, read? which i am in favour of, at all times!) but that also keeps you awake...

good grief, even when i was sick and in my bed with covid for a week i had my laptop on and watched some crap on netflix/disney+, even if i did end up falling asleep for large chunks of time.

There is no need to ban screen time when they're sick.

Kids love it too. That’s exactly why they swing the lead to take a sickie off school. If sick days aren’t ‘fun’ days, they won’t bother trying.

DS was off of his phone for 2 days and on his year group chat alone there was over 2000 unread messages. The phone use that you and i may have of a few exchanges throughout the day is very different to the younger generation. It’s constant and rapid, and DS has said himself that at times it’s very overwhelming.

You can mute chats or even just leave the group, my daughter ended up leaving her year group chat because it was similar in terms of number of messages and she just has group chats with her actual friends instead

As an adult who battles screen addiction many of us never will and its better to delay exposure to it as long as possible to allow young people to develop other hobbies and interests

My 11 year old self imposes screen time limits which he mainly sticks to, because he understands too much screen time isn't a good idea. There's no doubt phones are addictive but they are a part of life now, much better to help them manage use rather than be draconian about it. It is possible to learn how to self regulate use.

This
this place boggles my mind at times.

When my kids are off sick I let them on their stuff. I don't understand why some parents enforce the "if you are off school sick then you are also off your stuff" rule. It's not going g to make them any tickets.

It’s still not comparable to going out and playing physically outdoors. You can use a phone and not respond to messages if you want.

DS was off of his phone for 2 days and on his year group chat alone there was over 2000 unread messages. The phone use that you and i may have of a few exchanges throughout the day is very different to the younger generation. It’s constant and rapid, and DS has said himself that at times it’s very overwhelming.

I find that such a weird comparison - laying in bed on your phone is hardly the equivalent of going out and running about with your mates.

How can you be so bloody clueless in caring for your own child. Baffles me!

FWIW I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. We have a similar rule for DS of a similar age. No phone, no gaming, no YouTube. He’s allowed, depending on the illness, what we call normal tv such as daytime tv, to read or watch a very few select shows on the streaming services. When he’s genuinely ill he doesn’t care and it’s no problem, when he was trying to pull a sucky he’d be bothered. Now he knows that rule is in place and stuck to, he never pulls a fast one. I don’t see it as any different to when I was growing up. I was on the sofa with This morning on, I could read, but I wouldn’t be allowed out to play when everyone came home, until I’d been back to school. I just see out to play as gaming, YouTube and the phone now as that’s where most of the socialising is done.

Our rule was if poorly stay in bed in the morning then you can laze on the sofa watching TV under your duvet in the afternoon. When half the family had Covid back in 2021 then they all spent the week on the sofas in the playroom watching the Olympics. I think watching TV requires less energy than reading and is more relaxing than doom scrolling.

If you think she’s lying, send her to school. If you think she’s genuinely ill, why does she need to be penalised?

This. Especially considering this is a secondary school aged child. Just strange and controlling behaviour.