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AIBU?

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Original poster

to feel sad I am the only childless person at work

38 replies

user78999543 · 01/05/2025 16:52

I recently joined a team of 8 and I am the only one who doesn't have children. I'm finding it so hard at the moment because all the conversations at work are about their children or ttc.
I always ask them about their weekends on a Monday morning and they talk about their families which is understandable but as the week goes on they talk more and more about their children.
I find it really hard to listen to, I feel sad.

OP posts:
MoominMai · 01/05/2025 17:56

PassingStranger · 01/05/2025 17:46

Thank yourself lucky less stress.

Very helpful comment I’m sure 🙄

Ddakji · 01/05/2025 17:53

I suppose it depends on if you’re child-free by choice or circumstance as to how much this bothers you.

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 01/05/2025 17:51

Tutorpuzzle · 01/05/2025 17:44

I’ve never talked about my (now adult) children at work. I lose the will to live when people start talking about theirs so I wouldn’t inflict that tedium on anyone else.

If anyone asks about my weekend I keep it very easy breezy; weather, dogs, books, Netflix. And quietly leave if the interminable school allocation conversations begin…

Whereas I can tolerate talk of other people's children, but talk about their bloody dogs I find unbearable!

Cheepcheepcheep · 01/05/2025 17:48

It’s a really tricky one. I have two preschoolers and at the moment between work and the family I find it quite hard to do breezy small talk about my life without it being 90% child chat! Appreciate that is fairly tragic 😂 However, I really do try. I was in a team meeting with two colleagues yesterday and one mentioned her child - it would have been really easy for me to agree and start a conversation on that so I purposefully said ‘oh totally…’ and then moved it onto another subject, because I didn’t want to alienate the child free colleague.

Yes, it’s normal for people to gravitate towards a common subject but your colleagues don’t sound like they’re being thoughtful.

Augustus40 · 01/05/2025 17:48

I feel for you. I had that in a job before I had ds. I had had miscarriages too and was in my late 30s.

I had ds age 41. Hopefully your time will come. I do understand the pain as I went through it.

PassingStranger · 01/05/2025 17:46

Thank yourself lucky less stress.

Tutorpuzzle · 01/05/2025 17:44

I’ve never talked about my (now adult) children at work. I lose the will to live when people start talking about theirs so I wouldn’t inflict that tedium on anyone else.

If anyone asks about my weekend I keep it very easy breezy; weather, dogs, books, Netflix. And quietly leave if the interminable school allocation conversations begin…

Evaka · 01/05/2025 17:34

Sorry to hear this OP. I'm in a similar team but it doesn't bother me as I'm childfree by choice. It struck me the other day in a team chat that it would be horrendous if I wanted children.

But agree with PP, they are just discussing their lives. Do you enjoy your weekends?

NotMeekNotObedient · 01/05/2025 17:32

The problem is they are talking about their lives. As a parent it's very hard to talk about yourself, weekend etc without mentioning your children.

I sympathise, it must be very hard, but there's nothing you can do but build your own resilience to it.

ThinWomansBrain · 01/05/2025 16:58

As long as they don;t expect you to to not take holidays in the summer/Christmas - of course they are going to talk about their lives if you ask them what they did.
Equally valid for you to talk about your life & what you've been up to.

If your sadness is that you don;t have children, surely that's a bit bigger than lack of family to talk about at work?

KimberleyClark · 01/05/2025 16:56

YANBU. It can be tough being the only childless one in a group of mothers. I assume you are not childless by choice?

And yes I would have this move do the Mumsnetters Without Children Board.

TheQuietestSpace · 01/05/2025 16:56

There is a childless mumsnetter forum on here that you may wish to ask for this to be moved to as you'll find more support there than AIBU I imagine. Just wanted to send you some support as society can be horribly child/family focused and this is excruciating when you're (for whatever reason) having a tricky time with that sort of constant chatter. I can somewhat relate x

Shoxfordian · 01/05/2025 16:55

How old are you? If having kids is important then what steps can you take?

Talk about all the fun things you could do without a kid, all the long lie ins and brunchand drinks you had, even if you didn't.. they'll all be jealous of your freedom.