to ask why would you overfeed your child?

Doesn't excuse mass overfeeding her child though, which is nothing short of child abuse.

the mother (or father) are duty bound to sort their own issues out and not pass them onto their kids.

I'm would assume this is for an easy life. This is deemed more important than the childs health

Yes...

@SpidersAreShitheads
If she really is as you've described, then she's wearing the wrong size clothing which is a whole separate issue in itself. Children don't have bellies "so big" that T-shirts won't stretch over them - they just need the next size up

You seem to want to do anything but admit that sometimes, parents are doing the wrong thing. Most fat kids are fat because they are eating too much of the wrong thing and are not being given the opportunity to run around. A small child wearing clothes that fit but are several sizes bigger than their age doesn't make it better.

One of my DCs friends is very overweight, family are too. Her mum has always been strange about it- for a few years she’d moan about how her child could eat whatever and still be skinny (she wasn’t she was chunky!) and how she just calls her pig and says she’s greedy while keeping loads of unhealthy snacks in the house and allowing her to have three adult size courses when out for dinner at age 7. The whole thing is very bizarre.

I know a mum who does this, I think she didn’t cope well when they were little and used food to placate her kids, I think it’s also some guilt, not a happy marriage and it’s a “treat”. Mine always pops back and forth over healthy to overweight BMI, exercises 6 times a week, has a massive appetite but we do try to limit sugar.

I do agree with this. We don’t drive and DD is a good walker but if we are going a 30min walking distance plus I will use the pushchair (at least part of the way) not because it wouldn’t get walked but because a 30 min adult walk takes 1hour plus with a toddler 😂

If there’s no SEN, then perhaps it’s cyclical-what does mum look like? My mum would not let me leave the table til the plate was clear: ‘There are starving people in Africa/I was in the kitchen for hours making this” etc. It’s a mind set I’ve had to get out of having been massively overweight. Mum struggled with her weight and now delights in telling me how little she weighs and how I shouldn’t lose anymore having been morbidly obese for most of my life.

I see an awful lot of overweight kids and their parents are also overweight.

This is me. I have to get the bus and then walk for 20 minutes with 2 small DC, I definitely use the pram, my 2YO is a runner.

My nephew is massive (he's now 15)

My mother was brought up with 'food is love' and withdrawn for whatever reason her mother felt fit at that moment (and not enough food to go around for the kids)

She passed on her food issues to us (I struggle with food) and once my brother got away from her (he left home),he ballooned (he went from about 8 stone and 5'10 to 25 stone and counting)

He met,married and had my nephew-his parents feed him nothing but takeaways,chocolate and crisps-id be amazed if he'd ever had a salad (unless it's in a takeaway)

They use my mother as childcare-and she loves to feed him ('my house,my rules')

Before school,I've seen him scoff a full English breakfast (3 sausages,4 bacon,4 fried eggs,2 slices of fried bread and toast) all washed down with 3 lattes (3 sugars in each) and he'd walk to school,stuffing his face with a monster and crisps (I saw this when he was about 7/8) and at home,its a Chinese or Indian takeaway (or if they are feeling healthy,a kebab)

None if them seem bothered about this diet and this kid is suffering (I'm nc but I have friends who's kids are in his class)

It's neglect on a huge scale-my brother has been told to lose weight or he'll die

He laughed it off and carried on-shes just as bad and it seems the cycle will continue

Overfeeding is a form of neglect just like starvation is

Juice is not healthy either, as it is just sugar to the body, though actual fruit is good in moderation. Plain water is far healthier. In general foods that are "whole" (ie. fruit not fruit juice which as been extracted from fruit, wholegrain bread not refined flour bread (most loaves)) are the healthy options. Why anyone would feed their precious DC processed, sugary, salty refined crap amazes me.

Lots of young children are overweight, so I don’t see why you’d jump to a rare condition.

If she really is as you've described, then she's wearing the wrong size clothing which is a whole separate issue in itself. Children don't have bellies "so big" that T-shirts won't stretch over them - they just need the next size up.

I just feel as if this is a really disingenuous post.

It feels as if you want to bitch about this child and the family and this is the way to do it, with faux wide-eyed naïveté.

The child isn't necessarily being "overfed". Even chubby kids need to eat. But it certainly sounds as if she's being given the wrong foods. That might be a lack of education in why the right nutrition is so important for young children - it might be a case of replicating what they were always given and what they eat now. As PP said, it might be a misplaced way of showing love - that's really common.

As she gets older, the buggy won't be an option so presumably she'll be more active which might help.

As she's wearing clothing that is visibly too tight/too small, are there issues around money? Crap food is unfortunately often cheaper than nutritious options.

I'm going to ignore the obvious questions about SEN, but it is worth considering whether this may be a factor.

And how is that OPs business?

I’m fully aware and when much more active and working at 50, and lost 2.5 stone then, since regained 6 lbs, age, menopause and mid stage Parkinson’s 12st 6 to 10 st 6, now 10st 9

Size 16 is overweight, yes!

I assume it's because they don't know how to deal with negative behaviour from their child - if the girl kicks off and tantrums and screams when parent says no, some will just give in and then it becomes a cycle.

Sure I've been guilty of shoving some buttons into one of my kid's hands for an easy life - but as a one off, not as an ongoing behavioural method.

I am also judging the parents that stop their (usually) DDs from eating carbs after 12/13 also very abusive.

Potion distortion, things always bigger, and denial that portions are generally bigger

Strangely I think it's the older generation who are poor influences in this regard. My PILs can't cope with wasted food, and try to insist DCs eat until their plates are clear. My Nan was a feeder, and praised a cleared plate also.

I let my children regulate their own appetite, they eat until they've had enough and then they stop. They can have hungry days when they want to eat constantly (actual food, not sweets) and that's alright, and days where they don't feel like much. All okay.

They do have treats but we don't treat them as treats, it's not a reward to eat crap, but I don't want to ban it either because then it's not teaching them moderation.

I think a lot of the time it comes from misguided care, and also I think I'm lucky. I don't judge, because no doubt I'm shit at some other thing without realising.

if the nursery has concert wouldn’t they talk to parents?

It must be they lack the willpower to stop a bad habit. There could be all sorts going on at home and it ended up with just placating the poor kid with a biscuit. That obviously worked and now they haven't the strength to try and un-do that bad pattern. It's very sad.

I can only hope the school, GP, health visitor and the mum together will help get away from this cycle of soothing a child with calories.

I know several intelligent mums who didn't think it was an issue giving their child a share size bag haribo everyday to keep them quiet. Then saying ooh they just carry their weight just like me.

Mind blown

Exactly same in our family, we stopped going over to MIL house for dinner when the rest of the grandkids would also be there for dinner. The kids would eat more dinner than my husband ( who is 6ft 4 and works in a labour intensive job). Their mother would make smart comments on my dinner that i was a pigeon, They wouldn't each too much junk food but huge massive portions of dinner and always get seconds. It improved a bit when they went to boarding school but would put it all back on when they were back home. Two of them seemingly got injections in their final years of school 😱I do know they were bullied in school especially the youngest one so SIL has now molly cuddled him with more food. Its terrible as i know their future will have hardship but what can you say. It takes 20 mins for your stomach to tell your brain and always say you should always leave the table feeling like you can eat more