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AIBU?

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Original poster

to ask why would you overfeed your child?

256 replies

ineedtoknowwhy · 01/05/2025 12:35

I'm sure this question has been asked before but, please, can someone explain to me why would a parent overfeed an already obese child?

Every day when I drop my daughter off at nursery I see the same little girl being dropped off too. She is always on her buggy which suggest they live nearby so could potentially walk but never ever do. At pick ups is the same, straight from nursery into buggy. Her face is always covered in chocolate (at 8 in the morning!) and she is always holding some sort of biscuit or chocolate belly so big her shirts don't come below her belly button. I am not talking about a bit chubby, or with a bit of a belly.

I cannot help to think poor child whose mum is happy to keep feeding her biscuits, chocolates, etc. when the child is clearly not in a healthy weight.

I can't help but silently judge her in my head so please can someone explain reasons for this. If you are a mum with an overweight child, why would you do this?

OP posts:
Stickortwigs · 01/05/2025 12:45

Not commenting on the food but there is an assumption that if a child is in a pushchair they’re close enough to walk. What is the case for many is they are travelling too far for a child to walk but still on foot, it can be a considerable distance. Others would drive it and not get judged. It seems grossly unfair.

Fawn87 · 01/05/2025 12:44

One of my kids is technically overweight. She doesn't look overweight and has just had a growth spurt and started her periods so I'm putting it down to puberty. She's taller and more developed than other girls her age (11). It can also be hard when there's things like ASD involved and children becoming restrictive about what they eat. I don't think it's as simple as stopping them eating certain things.
However, I remember a boy from my eldest child's primary school and he was massively overweight, also visibly neglected in other ways. I think there's a big difference between kids who are a bit chubby, putting them in the overweight zone and a child several stone overweight.

toomuchfaff · 01/05/2025 12:44

Oh wow prepare for the onslaught.

At a high level its parental abuse.

But there will be people suggesting "whatifs" to justify. What if child is on the spectrum, what if child won't eat, what if child has a meltdown, what if mum is struggling, what if mum..... and so on and so on - "whatifs"

Doesn't change the situation that it's lazy "parenting" - shuts the child up is probably the crux. Easier than being the adult and parenting the child.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/05/2025 12:43

What size are the parents?

Greenlittecat · 01/05/2025 12:41

I would too tbh but it's not something I'd do anything about. I'm sure the nursery are aware.

There could be a whole host of reasons their daughter is overweight which includes possibly being SEN.

TreeCake · 01/05/2025 12:40

I would wonder the same but you'll get a lot of hate around here for being judgemental. Suppose it's because it's cheap and easy to give her biscuits and now the child is used to it so probably expects it and isn't happy if she doesn't get this food.