If you had the money, would you send your kids to private school?

Absolutely.

I was state educated.
While my primary school was lovely, there was only two options for secondary.
Option 1: the local comprehensive which had an abysmal reputation. Even when my parents attended that school, it was known as a “rough school”.
Option 2: the private grammar school.

I ended up with option 1 as my parents were absolutely not in a position to afford private at the time. My first year there, OFSTED put it into special measures. The next 4 years consisted of chaotic classrooms, teachers completely unable to teach among the chaos. Endless fights among students. A scary number of teen pregnancies among the year 10 and 11 students. One teacher fired for threatening pupils with bread knife that had apparently been in his desk for years. One paedophile teacher. One headteacher fired over the paedophile hoopla she tried to cover up quietly…..and that’s just the tip of the shitty iceberg
Not exactly an environment conducive with stellar education 🫠

We are now in an extremely fortunate position where DH’s job will provide us with an astoundingly generous education allowance when we come back to the U.K. so it’s a no brainer for me. Our DCs will be privately educated for the foreseeable future.

How long have you lived where you do and is there no chance of moving? because that is the easiest and cheapest option.
All the schools near us are ok, and the local one is superb, one of the best in the country, so I always knew both ds's would be ok.

I would absolutely invest in education. Make sure you view as many private schools in your area as you can, they all have a very different “feel”. Some are quite stuffy and formal, others are very relaxed and chill. You will get a certain vibe and know where you think your kids would be happy. Smaller class sizes and well behaved kids is what you are paying for.

No. I would spend the money on amazing holidays and a home that we own.

Yabu

Not for primary if you have decent state option.

Use that time to save money as you consider options further on. Fees are likely to keep shooting up - can you comfortably afford that until at least the end of year 11?

Only send them if you are sure that you have found a school that absolutely is the best fit for each child - these might be different schools.

210 is not a massive school btw.

Ours are absolutely thriving at our 3-19, 9 form entry state school and have lots of friends locally. There is no private option for our choice of schooling which is one of the schools’ biggest plus points imo.

I have taught in both state and private schools. Private school - great at selling places, not so good at keeping staff.

State secondaries vary enormously (I’ve worked in five). The best was pretty good - I stayed for ten years and I’d have been happy to send my child there. The worst was appalling: very low expectations for the children, classes of 33, a noticeably youthful and inexperienced staff. I lasted four months.

Do your research.

Let them get through primary first, as the advantages of going private are bigger from key stage 3 onwards.

Then think about it. OR

Put them into year 7 and see how they settle and if the thrive or not.

Years 8-11 cover the real transitional years, and only span four years, saving you a bit of money.

I would pay for the best education I could comfortably afford. We started in state (ofsted outstanding), then moved to private and the difference is massive.

No way.

If you can comfortably afford private, I would definitely pay for it

Yes of course, usually a nicer environment

I would for 11+, wouldn’t bother for primary. That’s what happens most often here, the primaries are exceptionally good and the secondaries are very good but not amazing so
people save their money for 11+

As it is I can’t afford it so DD will have to
muddle along, but at least all the options here are good, there’s nothing dreadful.

I wouldn’t use boarding though, that’s a personal preference- but if I had the cash and enough to not scrimp on the rest of life then yes, absolutely I’d pay. I went to state, husband did private and it has definitely helped him along in life.

I wouldn’t.

I think you’ve left out anyone who is happy with their state school on this list. But yes, a good start and honestly endless similar discussions floating around.

In summary for myself - I could never see myself prioritising private education unless something forced me to live in an very different location such as a country with very religious education or… I’m not sure what as I honestly struggle to come up with anything else. I am firmly in favour of state education and send my children to our local schools by choice (and no, not a fancy area and no, not amazing schools in the league tables or any other metric and yes, I’m very happy with their education and no, I have no regrets and yes, my daughter has SEN)

If you can afford it then I’d say go for it. A good education should be a basic for all children but it isn’t so do your best for yours

No private education. Most children are spoilt brats.

Based on where I live now and my daughter starting a state high school on September, no. If I lived in our nearest city I'd consider it because I know that even the most desirable schools there have significant issues linked to gangs. I'm not naive enough to think her secondary school has no problems but they are much smaller and not linked into county lines and associated culture of violence in the same way. My husband was at a very well respected boys' day school and you can definitely see the difference in confidence it brings. Academically I achieved more and have the better career, although I think he is probably an outlier from his school. We are in a position where we can supplement with activities outside school as desired. Our daughter has had an excellent experience at her state primary and has gone from a quite anxious little girl to being a school councillor and an ambassador. She's also developed a love for athletics which her high school can also support and which we can also fund if this is something she wishes to pursue.

It's a fair point but it's a small secondary made up of village schools and my child has friends from a few of them based on outside activities. I'm also (at this stage!) confident that the secondary would address bullying. It's also walking distance whereas the nearest private school isn't so there are a lot of factors.

If the school was the best for that child, then yes.

Ideal world every child in the country wpd be able to attend their local state school and it be good for them, but we don't live in an ideal world.

If I had a truly outstanding state primary near me, I would choose that. I prefer my kids being in their community and knowing a mix of people, and wouldn't want them to feel like the odd ones out for not being overly privileged. But otherwise, private.

I moved my kids from a perfectly good state primary to a well-known outstanding one, and the difference is bigger than I imagined.

Year 3 DC was not pushed at all at their first school - the concept wasn't on the table. The aim was to get the struggling children up to average and that was it. They didn't give attention to my oldest and didn't choose them for awards etc, because everything was geared towards helping the struggling children and giving them opportunities - the ones who were already 'fine' were ignored.

My reception-age DC was also not given any attention so didn't participate - wasn't given any encouragement or help, just left at a desk with an activity, so felt nervous to try without any direction. Got low scores when they tested for alphabet/counting because again was not given any encouragement so just didn't speak, and the teachers didn't spend extra time or give any encouragement, just marked that they couldn't do it.

Within a month reception DC is now volunteering for activities and participating actively, super happy and thriving. Counted to 100 on the first day when at the old school the teacher marked that they couldn't count to 10. I am given regular updates on progress, they separate the children into small groups and give lots of one-on-one time. Y3 DC is also doing really well and is pushed for the first time ever.

Never again will I be of the opinion that 'good' is good enough. Amazing state school over private, but otherwise private.

We are Surrey too. Both DH and I are state educated. Kids did a few years in state and we moved them mostly for childcare reasons (so I could work). But the difference was so huge. I couldn’t believe no one had explained this to me. But then I realised that people don’t like to brag or gloat and so people don’t talk about this in my local area at least.

Do really do your research on which school is the right fit for your child though. Private schools really vary, serving different parts of the market. Maybe the reason you don’t feel drawn to any of the schools is that you haven’t found that right fit? I can think of plenty that wouldn’t be a good fit for my child (too sport or really long days) but might be fantastic for another child.

Both DH and I are state educated. We plan to send DD to an independent school.

We both come from working class backgrounds. First to goto university in our families. We were not born into wealth. However we have the financial means to pay for independant school. We were both on the fence about it until we looked around our local state offerings. 30+ kids to a class, 1 teacher, 1 TA (sometimes), many distruptive children who need additional support. Classrooms out of control. Headteachers on tours of schools spending the whole time moaning about not having money to do anything, random children walking around unwatched and just left to it. It didn't feel like a positive nurturing place for our DD to learn or thrive. That and the constant state interference on attendance and other stupidity sealed the deal for us. I know several current and ex teachers. All of them have said they would send independent if they could, one home educates. It does depend on the schools offered for sure. But in your case if you can comfortably afford it i'd consider it.

Very short term to be making a decision based on their friendship group. This will change massively at secondary -they will be in different classes etc. . And they could still keep contact with their old friends if they are good friendships.