If you had the money, would you send your kids to private school?

Nope.

I’m about to send my kid to private pre-prep school (starting Sep) and hopefully she will stay all the way til 18. I made my decision based on:
(1) I can afford it
(2) I’ve been told she is advanced (for now) so I want help maintain / support that e.g with smaller class sizes snd therefore more attention
(3) I want her to have access to facilities that enable her to feed and nurture her curiosity
(4) Less disruption from poorly behaved students (even kids not yet potty trained etc.) - more of the teacher’s time spent on teaching / better environment to learn
(5) Like minded parents and possibly like minded kids

i think there is no difference in teaching quality at private vs state but the environment needs to be right to get the most out of it. So that’s what I’m paying for essentially.

I have money to pay for it so why would I instead choose to use up government resources when I don’t have to.

I can afford it easily without stretching our family budget. I have 3 DC. Sent 1st 2 DC initially to state school up to 7 then moved to private prep school.
My 2 DC were happy in the state although not pushed and there were some behaviour issues (didn't bother DC). They hated the private prep, never fitted in, never made friends. They weren't sporty enough, pushy enough, outgoing enough. I struggled with the fact that they could no longer easily have playdates after school due to distance and school finishing later.
They went to grammar school for secondary - one has flourished one not so (and in hindsight I think that one never would have flourished anywhere).
My 3rd DC was not admitted to the private prep as he has autism. I now think thank god they didn't take him. He has flourished in main stream primary and now in a massive main stream secondary comp. The primary school cared about him, were very understanding and made loads of reasonable adjustments and made him feel welcome and wanted. I was never worried they might kick him out like you have to worry at private school. When moving to the massive comp down the road I did seriously consider private secondary for him (there is a small secondary school for boys that is not too pushy near me) but I think whilst he might get slightly better grades in the private he will be a more rounded person if he copes well in his large comprehensive (which he seems to). If he showed signs of being unhappy there I'd whip him out in 5 seconds flat but so far (and he is only in year 7) he is flying. Constant awards for behaviour and outstanding work - he is puffed up like a peacock.
My 3rd DC has a large group of local friends who he walks to meet up with at the weekends. He is independent and sociable. He does a number of local activities and had further friends from those. My 1st 2 DC did not have that due to private school and grammar and I ended up driving them everywhere. So I suppose to answer your question in general state has been better for my kids than private so no I wouldn't; however, completely understand why people might think its a better option.

Where do you think private schools are? Narnia? They are very much in the real world. They also cater for a range of pupils..ours is far more diverse in regionality, ethnicity and in fact wealth than the local pit village comp. You don't have to be scraping by to be "real".

What a load of bs. Our private school is far more diverse than any of our local state options.

I also used to be a firm no for sending my child to private school. I don’t believe in it and I’ve done well from state school.

That all went out the window when they entered full blown autistic burnout and were unable to go anywhere or eat.

They now go to a very small private school and have emerged from burnout (thank goodness). It’s not the academics for me - I honestly couldn’t give two shits about that. I genuinely feared she wouldn’t survive a large state secondary, I know it sounds melodramatic but I firmly believe it.

Do I feel guilty for all the kids in autistic burnout whose parents can’t afford to send them privately? Absolutely. Will I let that guilt keep my child in state school and burning out? Absolutely not.

I absolutely would not, for ethical and political reasons. It’s a choice I have held firm on for many years and can’t see that ever changing whatever my financial circumstances.

I find in conversations like this though, people don’t really believe it. Just like they refuse to believe I’d never own a second home and wouldn’t use private healthcare. I wouldn’t though, I have strong ideals that I wont waver on.

I am aware some children need specialist provision and whilst I would prefer this was provided by a state school it sometimes isn’t so state funded children end up in private schools. I don’t like it but would accept it in those circumstances.

We will for secondary, the local state provision is awful (which I do not understand as all the local primaries are decent!) If we lived near a decent secondary or a grammar school, then probably not.

Think about your child. You know them; they are not generic beings.
Would they enjoy private over public? Where are the majority of their friends going? Which school offers the curriculum to teach your children the skills that they want to develop? What type of people do the schools turn out - kind, generous, happy, hard working? What facilities will be available for your child?

My children would prefer a private school offering extension of specialised topics, clubs, weekend sport etc if the local government school lacked skilled staff, facilities, safe non disruptive classes.

A child only receives one education. I choose the place that delivers the goods.

I didn’t have the money and I still sent them
Some days it was worth every penny and some days it wasn’t

It would depend on the schools and the dc.
I am not against private education.

I think it has to be a decision for each family based on many factors.

We could have sent my daughter to private school but chose not to. Where we live she had a much wider range of opportunities in the performing arts (her passion) in the state school system than she would have been able to access in a private school.

No I wouldn't because they have to live in the real world and mix with a variety of people, including people from very different backgrounds to them, Private school doesn't provide that.

Not after seeing in the news yesterday that private school pupils can be denied NHS treatment.

Outrage as boy, 8, turned away from treatment at London NHS clinic 'because he attends private school' | The Standard

I've seen this on several sites, one of them published the letter they received from the NHS, can't remember which one.

It depends on what the private school has to offer. Some are wonderful and some are very average. A private school has the freedom to employ who they wish to teach. These may be untrained teachers. Just because you pay doesn’t guarantee a superior education. However, if you live in an area which is likely to provide schools with behaviour problems and concerns for their education then that is a valid reason for looking towards the private sector.

Personally no but we’ve got good state schools here. And walkable to as well.

If we did do private then we’d have to drive them to school or bus or train which is not something I want.

I stayed friends with predominantly the same people from 8-18. Friends are really important.

If you can afford to & if the private school options are excellent then I would say yes. Just don't forget that fees go up every year and sometimes school meals are not included in the term fees. Uniforms are not cheap and there are various sports kits. There are also trips to consider, which can be expensive as they get older, they don't have to go on every trip but certainly in 6th form they are often related to the subjects they are being taught in A level so beneficial. It is worth checking with each school what the additional costs are to the actual fees.

I can't be bothered to read the previous replies but in short, no I wouldn't provided the local secondary schools were alright. They don't have to be amazing, but I wouldn't send them to a really shitty school if I had the means for private.

I went to private schools abroad before I moved back to the UK and they were great but I also enjoyed, and did well at, my secondary school in England.

If I had the money for private school but had a decent local state I'd use the money for other clubs, enrichment opportunities, cultural holidays etc.

I wouldn't because I'd be concerned that they weren't given the opportunity to socialise with people from different economic backgrounds, and I think that would make work life tricky for them. I know that some parents make the effort to socialise their children outside the private school bubble, but once they're in secondary, school is where most pupils find their tribe.
I've witnessed private school pupils struggle at uni because they're used to a certain level of support and attention that just isn't given at uni. I think that can be a really hard time for privately-educated people.
I would never, ever send my children to boarding school. I have many friends who went, and the vast majority hated it, but even those who enjoyed it realise as adults that they missed out on a key part of the parent/child relationship- the teenage bit when you realise that this nest ain't big enough for everyone!

Local teaching agencies and the jobs page of the online TES might reveal where all the jobs are. Otherwise speak to children at the schools to find out how many staff leave each July.

Yabu

As a parent your job is to provide the best you can for your child

I believe in comprehensive education, and have lots of opinions about the vast range of educational opportunities given to different groups of children and how those gaps need to close. But none of that matters more than my own children to me. So yes, in your position I would definitely send them to the school that suited them best from among the opinions available, which for yours is going to be a private option.

We didn't send ours private. If we could have comfortably afforded it without breaking a sweat we might have done, but we are lucky to have great state options locally so we chose to prioritise other things. One of those things was a nice house, deliberately chosen to be in the catchment area for the schools we wanted them to go to.... Which is probably as privileged and unfair as what you are proposing, if that helps you feel ok about considering it!? Life is unfair and it's shit and I think we should all fight against it. But most people if honest are going to prioritise their own children above their principles.

Not sure why you would think morals should stop you sending your children private?

The hatred from certain people in this country is a weird outlier, in Europe they subsidise pupils in private educations (as this country did until 1997). Look at the sort of people who have a hatred of pupils at private schools, they are not good people (you would not want to associate with them in our personal life). Question if it is peer pressure that give you this view of there being a moral issue.

However, don’t assume that private is better. Since the 1990s it has been shown that the best “bang for your buck” is to send your child state and pay for private tuition to “top up.” The parents are some private schools can be unbearable. Many hold on to problem upils longer than they should. Some can show favourtism to parents who are very good ap playing the game. Many private schools however, offer excellent wrap-around care. Many are able a lot more sporting time in the timetable if your kids are motivated by that. Some have different philosophies (Montessori or Steiner schools). Some are specialist for special needs.

The greatest benefit private schools have is lack of silly government interference in their operations. But if your child is struggling and you choose to leave them in a state school where they suffer, that would be worthy of judgement.

Be really clear about what you are trying to achieve for your child and what you want, then you can be clear if it is a good idea to send your child private.

Simply yes. If you can comfortably afford to why wouldn’t you?
Great opportunities for your children and more directed educational environment.
I hope we are in a position to send our children to private once at secondary stage.