Hi everyone!
I am genuinely not sure if AIBU about this so would welcome some feedback.
An old friend of mine (we used to be very close but in recent years don't see each other as frequently, still get along well though etc) is having a milestone birthday party this summer. It will be a joint party hosted with someone I have not met before, taking place at a venue/accommodation that has been rented out for a long weekend (3 nights). We have been asked to contribute £100 for venue hire, regardless of whether attending 1, 2 or 3 nights. I have around 4 close friends who will be attending.
The venue is a c. 4 hour train trip or car ride from where most of us live. This means that realistically attending for 1 night would be pretty knackering and not cost effective. I would therefore have to go for 2 nights. My main issue is this: I have a DD who at that point will be 15 months. I am extremely fortunate in that my DM is very happy to babysit and regularly helps with childcare, and of course my DH would be around too. However, I would really rather not leave DD for 2 nights for something that honestly doesn't really appeal to me that much, and could really do without spending up to £200 on accommodation and train fares.
For additional context, I am the only one with a child (had her fairly young) and at times feel a bit misunderstood when I try to explain the reality of how this impacts planning and finances.
Do I just suck it up and go? Friend has made it pretty clear she would be very upset and disappointed by close friends not attending.
Do I make up an excuse? Do I just tell friend honestly and bear the consequences to friendship?
Thanks for reading if you got this far - looking forward to input.