Guests wasting food

Small paper plates. It is better having paper plates outside so they don’t break.
serve in stages. Sausages first and Steak last.
I would never turn up empty handed. She must be a real CF.

This
I mean, I can't imagine even noticing how much people are putting on their plates, never mind getting wound up about it!
I'm not made of money either before someone accuses me of being rich 😁

Smaller plates is a very good idea actually.
I would also have no qualms in saying to the group at large, right please only take what you are going to eat, you can always come back for more. Those who aren't 'guilty' of this won't be offended.

Can’t you just leave any leftovers at the bottom of the garden for foxes?

What will you say if you offer her a doggy bag and she refuses?

You could make a general comment that people can take stuff away in doggy bags but a hostess shouldn't be making her guests feel uncomfortable.

Either have manners at your own event and make sure that no-one is uncomfortable or feels singled out or begrudged or stop hosting events until you know how to do so.

Remember-a hostess should not make her guests uncomfortable. That's the most basic rule and anyone who doesn't understand that shouldn't be hosting.

Imagine your hostess watching with pursed lips every morsel you put or don't put in your mouth. Poor woman.

It's not about the food, is it? You just don't like this person and want to make a point. I would find other ways of doing it that don't show you as a petty and ungracious host.

This thread has reminded me of the old James Mason/ Susan George film Spring and Port Wine.
Those of you who dont like the " obsession" with wasting food would be horrified watching that . Susan George refuses to eat the herring served up for her tea so her father instructs that the same fish is served up to her every day to try and make her eat it.

My father actually would have done similar to us when we were growing up if my mother hadn't dug her heels in. He certainly did his best not to let us leave the dinner table until our plates were cleared. My hill to die on was parsnips and sprouts. No amount of bullying would make me eat them. Although strangely I like them now.

I hate the finish your plate mentality. It's one of the reasons for the obesity crisis.
When you're full, stop eating.
And yes, sometimes I go for a meal of many courses. That means I have to only eat some of each course because I can't eat it all.
Obviously, if I had a choice, I would only take what I need, but if you're eating somewhere where the food is plated for you, you can't choose your portions.

I feel your pain OP as I too absolutely detest food waste. My SIL and her kids will always pile a plate high at a buffet, eat half and leave the rest at every buffet. Then do this several times. I find it really hard not to say anything but I’d probably be made to look like the bad guy.

Exactly. I'm curious as to why OP just can't tell her outright? As I see it, if the guest is pissed off by the reason, so be it - OP is already pissed about having food wasted! So horses for courses, I'd say...

Because the OP is the one who collects the plates and has to throw away good food that someone else could have eaten.

OP, sympathies. I have guests coming in a couple of weeks who, because of food intolerances and preferences give me a menu in advance so that I have appropriate ingredients and meals for them. So I spend money on things like a particular expensive brand of vegan margarine and vegan cheese, and gluten-free flour and a whole host of ingredients I don't regularly use, and cater for us using their recipes — and then they barely eat any of it! Last time, after locating a particular form of muesli at £5 a pack from the health food shop ('All we ever eat for breakfast!') they spotted that the Cornflakes in my cupboard were GF and had those instead. It's massively annoying. If they are as bad this time as they were last time, I won't be inviting them again.

Something is telling me this is your MIL?

If they're family, they may not mind I suppose.
It's possible the guest intends to eat all that food, but then can't in the end.
Talking of hygiene, there are also people who say you shouldn't have seconds in a buffet with the same place because that could also contaminate the food so going up many times isn't an option either (unless you wastefully use many plates).

I suppose OP could put less food out and bring more as the first pile gets eaten?

People will eat leftover food that’s still in the serving dish. If it’s been refrigerated within an acceptable period of being cooked, we’ll often have leftovers for lunch the next day. But no one wants to eat something after an acquaintance has been pushing it around their own plate with their fork. So it goes in the bin, when it could have been used by someone else.
That’s why taking more than you’re actually going to eat is wasteful and rude. I wouldn’t bother mentioning it though. I doubt it’s worth the argument.

This.

And remember, it’s not only guests who are expected to display good manners. Presumably she’s not around at your house throwing armfuls of food waste into the bins every day. It’s only an occasional happening, and the polite thing for you to do is not to comment.

This drives me effing mad OP! H’s son’s partner & her kid, never, ever, finish a meal. Now the son’s had a daughter with this woman, & the kid who used to eat all sorts now leaves everything. I no longer cook for them but we go out & pay for the food. They eat half a dinner & half a pudding. Then there’s a ridiculous excuse as to why they can’t eat the food, like the ice cream’s melted, or they want to make room for pudding 🙄 I’d like to say just finish your fucking dinner then I won’t have to waste money on a pudding for you, you wasteful cunts! Even if we go somewhere where the meals are small they moan that there’s not enough food, yet they still leave something.

As pps have said, bread etc and salad first, dish out the meat throughout the afternoon and if you see her going to bin food say something like -oh, you can take that home if it’s too much to finish, no need to waste it.

Then offer to put in a put/in foil/similar while chatting about the cost of living crisis and so many people can’t even feed their children etc.

If you can get away with serving her I would do that. I hate people wasting food all the time.

I get why it’s annoying but I also think that being a good host means overlooking things like this. By all means ask if she wants to take her leftovers home or change how you cook and plate up, but otherwise just let her be.

If its just one person with a single plate of food, its hardly an 'obscene amount of food waste' is it? And if she ate it all, presumably you wouldn't mind, so does it really matter whether it goes in her stomach or the bin? Either way no-one else can eat it and you've spent the money on it. Just let it go.

@Gwenhwyfar I'm like it too though, although it doesn't make sense. Recently I've had a health condition and can't eat much, and it really bother me if I don't manage everything on my plate. It's not the cost it's just the throwing away of food. I grew up not too long after WW2, so perhaps it was drummed into me at an early age!

Either suck it up - or serve everyone - or change how you cook and serve your BBQs- We serve everything together - sounds like doing a bit at a time would be better here. But she'd probably still load up on sides.

Or say - 'x, can you just take what you are going to eat, I'm fed up of throwing food away left on your plate.'

This drives me mad too (I have family that do this). I’ve tried smaller plates (it was piled higher) and I’m being serious literally one bite taken…. Doggy bag idea is a good one. I’m also tempted with a pointed comment of I won’t dish you any pud as you’re obviously far to full and point at leftovers. I hate food waste too especially bbq when it’s pricey stuff not a bit of spaghetti!

You have to invite her so there's nothing you can do. Stop with the monitoring and enjoy the day

True. But if she only dished up and ate what she needed, OP would have leftovers for another meal - so not wasted on either count. But you can't save food from someone else's plate to use as left overs (well, you can, but its unhygienic!)