to ask friend if she is going to pay my teen for cat sitting

@DeathStare post is good - to the point but very polite and could in no way cause a drama. What isn't so good is you being flaky and letting your DD down by not just facing an awkward situation head on. Text her, call her - whatever, but don't just leave it to chance on Friday and then be all irritated when the money doesn't materialise. And please teach your daughter to be more assertive and guide her next time to have an upfront conversation about what she charges and arrangements she's 15 and old enough to take responsibility for a conversation if she can be trusted with a living creature for 10 days!

Seeing her on Friday is perfect excuse to innocently text and say 'Are you bringing cash on Friday for x's cat-sitting, or did you want her bank details?'.

I think with all these things - they need establishing before the work/favour is undertaken rather than afterwards.
Something should have been said like: Oh that's great my teen has been looking for paid work - how much will you be paying her ?- Before the task not after. This would give her the opp to say: oh I thought you'd do it for free and you could say no, or she could suggest a price. Things need to be clarified before hand. She might have thought it was a free favour...
Has she done you any big favours recently where she might think you owe her?? Fo example - if I'd done some 'free' work for someone that would have cost then £150 quid and then they'd fed my cat - I would not have expected to pay for the cat care . But when friends offer my teens work they say - it's x amount of hours babysitting for say £25 & snacks then it's clear.

I think that if she doesn’t pay I would no longer view her as a friend. Twenty visits which necessitated driving there for free would make her a real CF.
My daughter was paid £5 per day by a neighbour and she only needed to walk a few minutes there and back once a day. The neighbour said it was worth it to her as she knew the cat and her home were ok due to daily visits. ( obviously if anything had gone wrong I would have been in hand and we would have contacted her if necessary).

Or as @PumpkinsAndCoconuts says send it her before ‘oh I’ll probably forget to pass these along tomorrow when we meet so here are DDs bank details’. Simples

If she doesn’t mention it have your DDs account number and sort code on a post it and say ‘oh before I forget DD is looking forward to spending her cat sitting money this weekend here are her bank details’. Don’t be awkward about it just make it clear she needs to pay.

I can’t believe you drove her 10 mins twice a day for this… is DD paying you petrol money?

You should send her the message about your teen being glad to have made some cash before meeting her tomorrow.

that way you won’t need to actually have that talk face to face (seems easier for conflict avoidant people) AND it will give your friend the chance to save face and simply give you some cash tomorrow.

If I were you I’d get your DD to ask her. It will be good for her to build confidence and these awkward situations do come up in life so best to get used to it early. My mum and dad always made me do stuff like this myself and while at the time I hated them for it, now I’m really glad they did.

I pay £15/day for my cattery. I would think that she should pay our teen at least half that...and yes you should message or call her before Friday.

There is no danger in providing a banks account number and sort code

Surely if payment wasn't mentioned by any party your friend just thought it was a favour.

I wouldn't want my bank details texted.
Is there a back story here OP.

Has catsitting been done before

Did she pay then.
Does she do you alot of favours.

Let’s go with the assumption that your friend has been absentminded this time. If she knows you haven’t been working, this may be why she offered this job to you both.

Couple of times for an adult to feed a pet, sure I wouldn’t charge, especially depending on the arrangement. We had a neighbour with a cat and we would help each other out often in exchange for free.

However, in this instance 10
days def requires compensation. It’s out of your way, and you aren’t working, so you’re out of pocket, and she pays other teens. Looking after a cat, feeding them, cleaning their trays & the other chores your teen did deserve compensation.

When I go away I have to factor cat sitting into my holiday expense, even when my friend stays, I ALWAYS leave money or something else of worth and groceries for them if they refuse. It’s just good manners!

Our local cat sitter charges £12 for the hour. This includes playing with our cat 🐈‍⬛

id send something like this…. Keeps it friendly but manages expectations

Haven’t RTFT so May already have been suggested. What about putting in the text something along the lines of’ would it be easier for me to give you DD bank details rather than you pay her cash’ ? always assuming she has an account obvs! Ensures no ambiguity then and makes it clear that payment is expected.

Totally agree that she should be paying. However:
1/ this should have been sorted before she went away, not after.
2/ the correspondence should be between her and your daughter. Not with you in the middle. She is the one doing the 'work' and should not be hiding behind her mother regarding things like payment conditions. She should have said to her when it was agreed 'ok, what shall we agree on as a daily rate?' That is called being mature and taking responsibility.

You could say “ by the way DD would prefer a bank transfer instead of cash if that’s okay as she’s saving”

Op I think your approach is - and I say this kindly - very weak! It will be much harder in person and if she wasn't planning on paying you won't be able to state clearly what the expectation is. Put the embarassment back on her.

as you say - absolutely nobody can ask a teen to do 20 cat visits for free and it's extremely bad manners of her to leave you unclear like this

Send a text and say - so 'teen' is embarassed not to have clarified this but I said you would be happy to sort this asap - how much was the rate for feeding the cats?

you can do the british thing of saying 'so sorry she didn't clarify first but of course she is just starting out at earning money etc so Im trying to teach her to be more organised'

DO NOT compensate your teen !!! Your friend needs to pay.

Add to say - I asked a friend's DD to pop in and feed/pay our cat for a few days. I made it clear what the payment would be and left the cash under a fridge magnet on the fridge. No ifs or buts

As PP have said, you def need to text before the coffee. Breezy but firm is perfect. Of course she was going to pay your DD, with whatever the rate you paid for hamster sitting. Start with that figure and let her haggle from there.
But needs to be before your catch-up. If she's rude about it or claims tilt was for free, you then know not to bother with the coffee

I dont think you've been foolish. It wouldn't cross my mind she wouldn't pay so it also wouldn't cross my mind to clarify.

If you do end up asking, I hope she's the one who ends up embarrassed.

Can your teen text their bank details before you meet your friend?

This is perfect. I would absolutely send a text now-I wouldn't wait till you meet up.

I always pay £5 per visit for cat feeding.

Definitely go with the response “happy to earn some cash.” So she can bring it when you see her. Also may be an oversight. I spent several weeks fretting about a work quote who put a lot in for expenses and then in T&Cs said they’d be extra costs on top. Turned out they’d changed policy to include expenses and forgotten to update T&Cs. But I fretted about it for weeks.

Bit late for saying that now as she obviously didn’t ????????