to ask friend if she is going to pay my teen for cat sitting

Op I really don't think you should wait for your meeting.

Be assertive on behalf of your teen

Send a clear and polite message saying sorry x can I just clarify how you are paying Bobby for the cat sitting as he is embarrassed/nervous to ask and I am just helping him learn to ask for things more clearly I'm sure you understand teens are just navigating this stuff !!

You could add. ' I said he should.have clarified pay with you first but the local catsitter is 7 a day so would that work for you '
Please don't leave this for an awkward thing to hang over your coffee

Your teen isn't a charity. I pay my catsitter your friend should.too

I’m feeling a bit cross on your DD’s behalf! That’s a lot of effort for her to do as a free favour for YOUR friend. I would also be as awkward as you about it tbh but your friend is being a bit of a cf so I think you should send a text today along the lines suggested.

Personally- sorry. The time to ask if it was being paid, would be before you’d done it?

I will try and mention it in a lighthearted way

That is going to make it too easy for her to brush you off. If she doesn't want to pay up, she can just pretend to think you are joking.

I think you are making a mistake to wait until a social encounter to discuss a business matter. They are two separate things.

I get it’s embarrassing. However if she was expecting this as a freebie, she is the one, who should feel awkward especially as you had to facilitate the cat sitting. I would send this. It doesn’t matter if she feels awkward after this text. If she wasn’t going to pay your dd this is a nudge. And if she was and it is an oversight, it’s a prompt.

This isn't exactly the same situation, but perhaps similar enough to modify appropriately:
Years ago, a woman I'd recently met who was in my congregation moved across the court from me. I helped her move in and we started to develop a gradual friendship. Now, normally, I try to avoid borrowing from my neighbors, but somehow on one occasion I had no choice. So, I called my new neighbor and asked if she had some of that item that I could borrow. She didn't. No biggie. But, then, to my embarrassment, I discovered I was out of the item I had planned to use as a substitute, so I called her and explained the situation (it was the end of the month, right before payday), but she didn't have that item, either. So embarrassing. Then, unbelievably, the 3rd and final item I decided to try using was also out. This was obsurdly ridiculous. How was I going to approach her AGAIN? Well, one thing I had picked up on about her was that she had an even quirkier sense of humor than I have. So, with that in mind, I called her again and I opened the conversation with, "Ok, this is your last chance...", and proceeded to tell her what I needed. Thankfully, she burst out laughing and said she had it and would gladly let me borrow it. We have been best friends now for 40 yrs.
Since you and your best friend already have a well-established relationship, why don't you give her the opportunity to offer you some compensation first and then, if she fails to do so, try to find a humorous way to bring it to her att'n without making it uncomfortable or awkward?

Exactly.

Send her a text saying this sort of thing:

Just need to sort something out for (DD) about payment for the work she did. I’m feeling bad because I didn’t ask you what rate you usually pay teens to do this but tbf I thought you would discuss with her. It was 10 days and I brought her over twice a day to do the cat and see to other things, so 20 trips in all. Just whatever you think/have paid others would be great. Thx and I’ll get DD to send you her bank details.

Ten days of twice a day cat sitting is something only a CFer would ask anyone to do as an unpaid “favour”. Cat sitters are paid well and ten days is a long time. She needs to pay your daughter and I hope she does so without much nudging. If she doesn’t pay I’d be having a blunt conversation with her.

teach your teen life skills by following up and telling her how you followed up. When my nephew was going dog sitting for a friend of dhs I made sure Dh addressed pay when making the arrangements.

You need to be more assertive, otherwise you’re letting down your teen, because this is your friend screwing them over.

Given you’ve cat sat for free before, that was probably her expectation with your daughter too. It’s probably why she asked her instead of one of the teens that did it before, especially for a long break. To save her a lot of money. This should’ve been agreed at the outset.

Good luck with the meeting, I hope an agreement can be made without awkwardness.

Yes it should have been sorted before...

But, she is CF if she's not intending paying your daughter if she pays other teens...

Also if its literally 1/2 mile away, I'd be hoping for minimum of 10£ a day... So 100£...

If it was considerably further away that your daughter is having to travel to do this... I would expect even more for her time?

I like the idea if your daughter sending over her bank details? Even if your pal wasn't intending paying, surely this would shame her into doing so!?

Does your DD have a bank account? If so, get her to send a “helpful” text to the friend, providing details for the transfer, as if there is no doubt at all that payment is going to be made.

Aww this is really rubbish of your friend. My DDs have cats and help each other out and they’re both so relieved to know they’re taken care of. Of course they don’t charge one another but they know without their set up it’s usually a costly thing! To bridge any gaps they occasionally have they are paying £12 a visit. Your friend really should have stated the terms, the arrangement
is in her interest

edit: I don’t think she has any intention of paying or would have said already, she’s a CF

It’s a little late. Why did you or preferably the teen not clarify this before the cat owner left town???

I agree with this. Gives you a chance to make it a non issue before you meet and a chance for her to put it right. The PP had the perfect response.

If you want to wait till you see your friend face to face rather than text. Then be prepared to say pretty much the same thing. "I'm so glad you enjoyed your holiday. DD was very happy to look after the cats and earn the extra cash".

Don't be embarrassed about this: anyone who looks after neighbours pets gets some sort of recompense. Be that that cash (for the young), a bottle of wine, bunch of flowers.

Oh, then do text in advance

That then gives her a chance to find an envelope and go to an ATM 🙂

Are you going to message and ask or just leave the ball in her court?

I think it was a really bad idea not to discuss payment before hand. Your friend has behaved poorly but you have a duty to teach your DC how to navigate work and friendships. Not showing them how to be polite and up front about expectations and negotiate an acceptable payment really let them down.

Agree with T1Dmama's text suggestion as a way to try and nudge your friend, but also think you should be prepared to be more direct with her and to go over with your teen about how to do things in the future.