Is a size 14 big?

You were being deliberately offensive. You've said that anyone who is plus size and body positive at the same time is 'delusional and in denial'. You have also condoned fat shaming. I bet the reason you are so angry is because you won't allow yourself to enjoy life. If you used to be heavier and now you're not then you are obviously restricting yourself a lot. You're angry at fat people because they don't restrict themselves like you feel you have to do. All because you have some pretty horrific opinions on what a healthy weight is.

Size 14 on me is overweight. I’m 5’5” and quite a small frame. I’d need to be about 2-3 stone overweight. But I think some women who are probably that size or larger look perfect. Height plays a part in balancing things.

Does the majority of Vietnam have an "appalling attitude", too? What did I say that was "appalling", or not basically true...?

Maybe people shouldn't come on AIBU asking direct questions if they don't want direct answers...?

Unlike you, I didn't make any presumptions about your personality or personally insult you. I just answered your question and said that, based on your description of yourself, yes: you are "big", aka fat.

Well aren’t you just a delight

Why are people tiptoeing around here? Sorry, OP, but 12 stone at 5'7" is definitely fat. Not gargantuan, but fat.

I'm 5'8" and 10 stone, and am squarely in the middle of the BMI range (21.3). I am slim, with a slender top half and arms, but definitely carry some weight on my bottom half. When I was 10.5 stone, I was genuinely "curvy" (not in the euphemistic sense). When I was 11.5 stone ( almost 20 years ago now), I was definitely chunky - though I was still at the top end of my healthy BMI weight range!

Yes, builds vary somewhat, but not that much! People need to get real.

Do you know which country has the lowest obesity rate in the world? Vietnam - at 2% of the population (still seems high to me). And I can see why. I spent about 4 months there in my early 20s and was 10.5 stone at the time of my first visit. A stranger at a marketplace (older woman) commented that I was pretty, but would look better if I lost weight! When I returned to Vietnam a year later and half a stone lighter, a native friend commented positively on my weight loss. Another Vietnamese friend commented that my mum was "map" (fat) after he saw her in a photo! People don't go out of their way to be nasty, but they will just tell it to you straight. Being at all overweight is viewed and discussed negatively by anyone and everyone. And those social attitudes clearly contribute to a generally fit and slim population. A little "fat shaming" - which I would often say is just being honest - goes a long way! I hate all this "body positivity", "plus-sized" nonsense. It encourages delusion and denial.

I'm 5ft 7 and 11st3 but feel fat...probably because my baby belly hasn't gone away yet

I'm also 5ft7 and size 14, my weight varies, at my biggest I was 13st now I'm 11st 3lb. I've constantly worn size 14!

5’7 also. I consider myself a 14 but might be being optimistic these days- BMI is 28 so edging towards obese. It depends on many factors of course largely varying sizes in stores. I follow a stylist, also 5’7 who usually wears a 14 and she doesn’t have an extra ounce on her…
id be careful trying to compare to a British average when half of adults are overweight

99% of the time I end up with a size 14 jeans, have done for many years now. I’m 5’3” and weigh 9.9 stones, so a healthy BMI. It all depends which shops you buy your clothes from as well. I know that Tu in Sainsburys comes up quite large, so I have a size 12.

I'm 5ft 7

I am 5ft 3 and 10 stone 12, I have the same BMI as you, and although I wear size 12, I struggle with tops as I have a very large matronly bust and an apple tum, If I wore 14s they would probably fit better, having said that I wear size 10 leggings as I have thin legs and they stretch around my tum, I guess it depends what clothes they are and if they are loose or tight. Years ago I was a size 24 weighing 13 stone, so getting to a 14 made me feel skinny, its all relative.

It has been for at least 15 years
why do you doubt it? Look around

Really? I wonder if that is using a different measurement of the mean? Or the standard has changed?

Bugger me, I’m off to River Island at the weekend! 🎉 To be fair, I have a range of sizes too, 10-14, some from many years ago. I’d say vintage size 14 is definitely more today’s 12.

Yes skeleton size is so important in all this, yet people just concentrate on weight height and size. I have wide hips and shoulders so I was anorexic at size 10, very slim at size 12.

Yes Samantha Janus was size 14 in Eastenders and looked fantastic

How tall are you? My bmi is hovering around 25, I am exactly 10 stone, about 5' 2" to 5' 3" and I can wear an M&S size 10 to 12 depending on the style. Size 14s hang off me now. I know height and frame can make a difference but I am mind boggled at how someone can have a BMI of 23 and need a size 14 to 16.

When i was a size 14 I was overweight (probably 12.5 stone, 5ft 6) and felt big. Looking at pics, I looked it too. Ive lost a fair amount of weight and now size 10 and 10st, feel much better in myself and I look much better in my clothes. I also don't get a shock when I catch sight of myself in a window or mirror and spot a double chin or belly roll (well not much of one). There is nothing wrong with these things I'm just not happy in myself when I'm that big. Also being that size coincides with me making unhealthy choices - alcohol, lots of cheese, crisps etc. And little to no exercise. So I know im not healthy. The size is a byproduct of that.

Losing the weight and being a size 10 has required a total change in lifestyle, for the better. Im walking loads, lifting weights, eating tonnes of veg and good protein. Still have cheese and crisps etc but weekly not daily. I'm focused on staying around this size now because I know that means I'm making good food choices and keeping my activity levels up. I'll be heading into menopause soon and was determined to get as strong and lean as possible before then as I know it will get harder!

Looking at the answers on this thread 'size 14' is neither here nor there- for me its about how I feel in myself and am I prioritising my health with the choices I am making.

Yes, your actual skeleton definitely influences how big you look, regardless of what you weigh.

Like you, I'm very small boned. Narrow shoulders, tiny wrists and ankles, can squeeze into a size 4 shoe etc. So I really do not carry weight well at all. I'm now 9st 11 and 5ft 6" but I could easily lose another stone and still not look skinny. Except I have already lost too much volume in my face and throat because I'm 54

Your BMI is over 26 so yeah it’s a bit overweight but I shouldn’t imagine you look huge. I am 5’6 and 8 stone but I have a very small build so would look very big at 12 stone, but that doesn’t mean you do - depends on a lot of things

Really!? Where have you got that evidence from?

Most of my friends are size 14 with a healthy BMI. I have a BMI of 23 and I'm a 14/16.

A large in Zara is definitely 12-14!