Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reporting underage sex to school?

32 replies

sausageeggandbeans · 30/04/2025 20:43

I am starting to have doubts about whether I’ve done the right thing….

I have been told by my child that someone in their friendship group is having sex. They are 13. Year 8.

I’ve sent an email to the Head of Year asking them to call me.

My child doesn’t know I’ve done this and I was very clear in the email that they must not discuss this with them and what it was about but mentioned no names.

I am starting to doubt myself now.

I don’t want to get this person into trouble, I just want to make sure a sensible adult can speak to them and educate them, more than anything, on consent, contraception etc and offer them support.

As to me, Year 8, 13 years old having sex, is not something I can know and not do something about.

Help, have I been unreasonable to do this?

OP posts:
Original poster
sausageeggandbeans · 30/04/2025 21:00

@Sunnyglowdays I’ve had a reply to say they will call me do it has been picked up. I’m just know having a wobble about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
sausageeggandbeans · 30/04/2025 20:58

@Newnameformenow I said in my post, I’ve not told my child and told school they must not discuss it with them. Only the HOY and I know. I’ve posted here because I do not want to ask friends/family if I’ve done the right thing as I don’t want to risk them sharing.

OP posts:
Newnameformenow · 30/04/2025 20:55

I think it's fine/right thing to do, may be something or nothing.
I would be careful not to mention it to anyone else/not gossip, probably wouldn't even tell your dc you've told school

amele · 30/04/2025 20:51

Well done you’ve done the right thing. At that age most girls are pressured, it’s important she is educated on the matter. She is just a child. I know not everyone thinks like me, but kids shouldn’t be having sex and if they are they need to know the consequences and how to protect themselves

Eggsinthewhoopsiebasketalready · 30/04/2025 20:47

I once reported dd's friends drinking alcohol provided by a dp at a sleepover..
They were 12...
The dm was high up caring for disabled dc and her df a local councillor
..

Sunnyglowdays · 30/04/2025 20:46

Child protection is everyone’s job. You’ve done the right thing.

I would suggest you contact the main school email address and ask for a designated safegaurding lead to ring you urgently as the head of year may not pick up their email tomorrow morning or know your email needs to be prioritised.

Katemax82 · 30/04/2025 20:45

If you were working in the school and got wind of it you are contractually obliged to report it as a safeguarding concern so no you are not wrong.