To be upset at my neighbour using my garden area?

First of all, it is NOT petty; you are paying the rent for that little piece of land. Second, make his clothes disappear so he has to find you the retrieve them. Hand him a letter with his clothes, so that you don't have to talk to him, then you can just close the door. Or leave the clothes and the letter outside your door or in the lobby or in front of his door. Dear Neighbor, 1) it is difficult for me to speak to people which is why I have written you a letter, 2) this my garden, and I pay the rent for it, 3) you have your own little garden, it is located describe where_, 4) this is my patio, I installed it, so it is not communal, 5) no permission has been given for your use of my patio or garden, so please respect this, Thank you, your name

Just put a polite note through his letter box. Explain that this is your garden and that he need to use his in future.

You've done very well to remain calm and think this through. I'm very territorial and would probably have chucked his airer onto the street in a strop.

Give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he wasn't told before that the flats each have their own small garden area. Tell him now in person, or with a note (so he can stay the heck out of your private space in future).

Do you really think that he hasn't wondered whose the rest of the (overgrown, unused) gardens are? He's never sighed - or mentioned to any of the other neighbours - that it's a great shame that he doesn't also have a garden; only to be told/realise that he does have a garden of his own, if only he can get his arse into gear to clear it?

He's clearly an 'assertive' character, who doesn't ask questions and just assumes to his own advantage, so even if he didn't realise that one of the unused gardens was his, why wouldn't he just clear one himself and then use it - like he is doing with OP's garden - on the basis that, if anybody ever has a problem with it at any time, they can just tell him and he can say that he assumed it was all communal, like he's already done with the garden that obviously has been cleared and is in use?

He isn't confused at all; he's just a lazy CF wanting to coast on the back of the efforts of a considerably older, health-compromised woman and either hope she won't notice (which she clearly will and has) or otherwise bluster, bully and insist to her that he should still somehow have the right to use it anyway.

I would remove the washing and collapse the airer, move it all out of your area.

If you want a less aggro way, drag t9 the side and post a note on it that it’s in the wrong space and will be removed in future.

PLEASE find it in you to 'just have a quiet little word'. It's not confrontational at all to say "Darren, has no-one bothered to let you know that the gardens have been sectioned off, and you actually have your very own small space to use? Yes, just like this bit here is mine, that over there belongs to etc." Do it in a very friendly, I'm an idiot, I assumed you knew, good god, so sorry no one said anything, well isn't that a lovely surprise, kind of way! He may NOT know. And if you explain how you've struggled, he may even be able to help you with yours. I'm upset FOR you now - I know how important our little outside spaces are; for our head, for our heart, for our soul. Please ensure you reclaim your space!

This

Either speak to him or put a note through his door. He probably won't even think of it as a confrontation. Keep it brief, and just say which area of garden is his. (He may have forgotten. He may have thought you just wanted his goalposts moved before because your gardener was coming.)

However, if the decision to split the garden area was just agreed amongst the residents then the title deeds probably still show a communal garden and any tenancy agreements will be the same.

It doesn't matter that 'trespass' is civil, its an elderly lady who has already asked her much younger male neighbour to stop coming onto her property and he is ignoring her. That is intimidation and the police will definitely be interested. Say how upset and worried you are, that youve tried to talk to him and told him its private property and he is ignoring you and you are scared of getting into conflict with him - all true. If you have a community warden its a perfect job for them. They go have a quiet word and job done. But if its not done, and the CF continues with his harassment of his elderly neighbour, then it becomes a criminal matter anyway.

If you have a gate I’d consider putting a padlock or bolt on it to stop him entering your garden. If the fence is low and he is just lifting over the airer I’d lift it back over his side.

@AutiAngst this is a good suggestion - do you think you could manage this?

I’m also autistic and had to smile at your description of very black/white thinking and sense of justice - I can relate! Honestly fuming on your behalf 😂

I would probably put a note through his door and put a fence/locked gate up as @ttcat37 suggests. I do wonder if he perhaps doesn’t realise the communal garden has been portioned off though? A note might be all it takes but the fence/gate will prevent any future misunderstandings with other residents.

Do let us know how you get on? 💐

ps - ignore the snarky replies, no one is forcing anyone to read your post 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

I know people hate letters, can you pop a note into all the neighbours doors?

Can you afford someone to come and build a higher fence so he can’t access your garden, if that’s allowed ?

Goodness I wish we could all write him a note and ask him nicely to stop.

I was going to say that.

He is a total cheeky fucker and you are not unreasonable to be upset about it. Maybe a note through his door saying he should use his own garden.

Can you get a gate, and lock it? A little sign that says “private garden flat 35” or whatever number you are.

OP says "I came home one Saturday to find he'd put goal nets up so he and his son (who stays for the odd weekend) could play football. In my garden. I just asked him to move it as my gardener was due in the next day or two and he did but it feels petty asking him to move his dryer."

She asked him to move the goal nets because the gardener was due.
She didn't say, "please move the goal nets because the garden isn't communal, this bit here is mine, yours is over there".
So no, he hasn't been told.

@AutiAngst - "... Originally the garden was a communal one, but waaaay before I moved in, the previous tenants had got together and had asked for, and been granted, permission to portion off the garden into 4 individual gardens and to take responsibility for them themselves. Each garden has a small fence between... "

Apologies if this has already been asked and answered, but has this re-arrangement of the original garden been formally and legally reflected in the title deeds or leases or tenancy agreements or whatever?

Is it possible that other residients in the block are unaware it is no longer a communal space?

@AutiAngst I really do feel you with this and this could be describing me with the confrontation and seeing things in right/wrong. I have a terrible thing of feeling things are unjust yet wouldn't want to say because I can’t cope with the confrontation.

Would you possibly feel brave enough to write a short note (if you struggle to be concise maybe someone on here could help) and then post it through his door? You could explain that you feel uncomfortable to say it face to face or something because I think some people would wonder why you didn’t just speak to them personally.

Seriously

Maybe if you'd made the slightest effort to read PART of the post you'd see why that was unkind and unnecessary.

@AutiAngst Have you got a copy of your tenancy agreement?

You may need to do, what I resorted to, today... I hung out my washing... including my rather large over the shoulder boulder holders... it moved one of my neighbours out of the garden, who has taken to sunbathing in the garden!

I think he doesn't know. Just tell him - that bit is yours, this bit is mine.

You tell him that it’s not a communal garden, and let him know where his plot is, and that you will be using yours. If that doesn’t stop it then you report him to his landlord. He’s taking the puss and assuming you’re not going to say anything. Stop it early.

@AutiAngst is the garden legally yours?
Was the arrangement to split the garden drawn up by a solicitor or was this an informal arrangement?

The answer to this is really important when it comes to how you handle it.

If it’s the former, you can ask him to stop using it and/or find a way to secure it.(and as for conflict… asserting your boundaries does not equate to conflict)

If it’s the former, then you are going to have to rely on his agreement to respect the arrangement that was determined by previous tenants… and that will be harder if he doesn’t care.

Please explain - what is the lobe of god?

I refer you to Matthew 7:3-5 for support in understanding this request.