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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be annoyed neighbour put spikes on the fence?

364 replies

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 17:28

We’ve lived in this house for nearly 5 years. At first neighbour was very welcoming and friendly. She’s an older lady (late 60s?) who lives on her own. She used to be lovely to our children. The past 3 years though shes just completely changed. She stopped talking to us, actively avoids us and blanks us. If we smile and say hello when we see her she looks down and pretends we aren’t speaking to her. It’s so bizarre. The only thing that has changed is we got a cat. He is an outdoor cat and admittedly probably does go into her garden.

Today she’s been hammering spikes into the fence! No warning or conversation. Infact whenever we go outside she runs into her greenhouse to hide until we go back in! I think this is so passive aggressive and I’m actually upset that she seems to think she can’t even approach us. We’ve always been friendly. She’s never spoken to us about the cat bothering her. I probably wouldn’t be bothered about the spikes if she had told us beforehand or said she had an issue with the cat. DP thinks I should go speak to her and just ask what’s going on but my parents think I should just ignore it. Aibu if I say something?

OP posts:
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Riaanna · 30/04/2025 19:16

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 19:11

How can I get ahead of a problem I had no idea about?

Common sense? He was crapping somewhere.

Kilroyonly · 30/04/2025 19:15

MyNameIsX · 30/04/2025 19:13

Following your logic, its also natural for many breeds of dog to want to chase and kill a cat.

Yes but dogs can be trained in a way cats never can. I know my dog would chase a cat/rabbit/bird but is trained so recall is possible

Panda89 · 30/04/2025 19:15

My neighbour did this too, it always amuses me when I see the cat merrily walking along the spikes 😂

UndermyShoeJoe · 30/04/2025 19:15

Kilroyonly · 30/04/2025 19:13

That is cruel, cats need to roam. Unfortunately if cat owners choose to let their cats out then you may get one crapping in your garden ultimately there isn’t anything you can do about it other than cat proofing your own garden; being angry with cat owners isn’t going to change that.

Cat proofing doesn’t keep them out it traps them in.

Imagine your beloved cat gets into a cat proofed garden. The owners are on holiday for two weeks… they don’t have pets so no one is coming into their house. Your cat is trapped for two weeks in their garden. Lovely life.

Also dogs want to kill cats so let’s not complain when they do grab one hey it’s only nature.

Maestoso · 30/04/2025 19:14

SmoothRoads · 30/04/2025 17:44

I agree that she doesn't have to discuss anything. She can do to her garden and her fence whatever she likes.

I do find it weird that she never discussed anything. Surely, it's mark of an adult to tell people if something is bothering you, instead of playing hide-and-seek in the garden, pretending someone suddenly doesn't exist and changing the fence without a heads up. Who does that beyond the age of 12?

It's the mark of an adult to do their utmost to ensure the decisions they take do not have a negative impact on their neighbour. Cat owners can cat proof their own garden so their cat and it's shit stays on their own property OR they could get a catio OR they could keep it indoors. All adult options. However those options involve having 100% of their cat's shit on their own property so not as attractive of having a cat that goes next door to shit in the neighbour's flowerbed.

But yeh, let's accuse the neighbour who's done nothing wrong except protect her own property if not being the adult.

Rictasmorticia · 30/04/2025 19:14

The spikes are useless. We put them all around our garden and the cats just put their feet either side of them

CatsWhiskerz · 30/04/2025 19:14

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 30/04/2025 18:49

We tried dropping hints re. a neighbour's cat, no hint taken and it shit everywhere, which caused an issue for children playing. So spikes, water pistol used and it even killed a nest of chick's, so I think we were gentle in comparison.

Cats are wild creatures, humans have empathy and ability to reason with thing such as good and bad, right and wrong. Humanely chasing /removing cats is fine

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 19:13

PluckyBamboo · 30/04/2025 19:12

Who owns the fence? You, neighbour or landlord?

I don’t know if she owns her house but we own ours. Also unsure who the fence belongs to. She has an L shaped garden that goes around the back of ours and it’s the back fence in my garden.

OP posts:
MyNameIsX · 30/04/2025 19:13

Kilroyonly · 30/04/2025 18:56

I’m all in favour of people going to measures to keep cats out but falling out with neighbours because their cat roams is ridiculous. What do people honestly expect cat owners to do; it’s a natural cat behaviour to roam

Following your logic, its also natural for many breeds of dog to want to chase and kill a cat.

Kilroyonly · 30/04/2025 19:13

godmum56 · 30/04/2025 19:09

one word really. Catio.

That is cruel, cats need to roam. Unfortunately if cat owners choose to let their cats out then you may get one crapping in your garden ultimately there isn’t anything you can do about it other than cat proofing your own garden; being angry with cat owners isn’t going to change that.

Itsjustsodepressing · 30/04/2025 19:12

I'm a cat person - I love cats.

I'm also a gardner and love my garden .

And I would have been quite put out if your cats were using my garden as their toilet.

But I would never have said anything to you because that's what cats do. And I would have assumed there was nothing reasonable you could do to prevent it because I would really not want you to keep your cats inside if I complained.

So I would have put the spikes up and said nothing.

Soonenough · 30/04/2025 19:12

I don't particularly like cats but it wouldn't occur to me to discuss with a neighbour that I was getting a pet. Guess the possibility of it shitting in her garden wouldn't enter my head . But I also wouldn't like to say to a neighbour to keep their cat away from my property. If they said no then I would be annoyed . So I agree that she just took preventative measures onto her own hand and is avoiding awkward conversations.

PluckyBamboo · 30/04/2025 19:12

Who owns the fence? You, neighbour or landlord?

jeaux90 · 30/04/2025 19:11

You see this really pisses me off. Fine get a cat, but have a litter tray and cat proof your garden otherwise I will and do take every legal measure to keep them out of my beautiful bird loving garden.

UndermyShoeJoe · 30/04/2025 19:11

Because everyone knows cats shit where they want litter box or not.

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 19:11

Riaanna · 30/04/2025 19:09

Here’s the thing. You haven’t done anything to stop it. Forcing an awkward chat and waiting until she takes measures isn’t you repairing the situation. You should have got ahead of it.

How can I get ahead of a problem I had no idea about?

OP posts:
godmum56 · 30/04/2025 19:10

Zanzara · 30/04/2025 19:09

Of course it's the fault of the owner. They were the ones who decided to get a cat and let it outside.

this

APurpleSquirrel · 30/04/2025 19:10

For those who don’t believe cats shit in other people’s gardens - here is my neighbours front garden with at least 5 piles of cat shit in it - possibly more further up I can’t see.
The local cats were doing it in our front garden too, but thankfully the plants have now grown up enough to cover all the soil/chippings. I fully expect to get more as the plants die back in autumn. It stinks & is absolutely disgusting.

AIBU to be annoyed neighbour put spikes on the fence?
godmum56 · 30/04/2025 19:09

Kilroyonly · 30/04/2025 18:56

I’m all in favour of people going to measures to keep cats out but falling out with neighbours because their cat roams is ridiculous. What do people honestly expect cat owners to do; it’s a natural cat behaviour to roam

one word really. Catio.

Zanzara · 30/04/2025 19:09

Kilroyonly · 30/04/2025 18:53

I understand the frustration but it’s not the fault of the owner. Cats roam by nature & I’m more irritated by barking dogs which can be controlled

Of course it's the fault of the owner. They were the ones who decided to get a cat and let it outside.

crankycurmudgeon · 30/04/2025 19:09

Kilroyonly · 30/04/2025 19:01

That’s ridiculous, people can own a pet & cats absolutely should not be kept inside it’s cruel

I don't understand this at all. If I had a dog which was constantly squeezing under the fence into my neighbours' gardens, stalking wildlife in them and shitting in them, it would clearly be outrageous. Certain people seem to think it's somehow a totally different situation when it's a cat. I don't get this at all. It's not as if these are wild animals.

Why would someone choose to get an animal which spends most of its time wandering around in other people's space?

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 19:09

Liverpool52 · 30/04/2025 19:02

But you did know. You said it in your first post. "admittedly it's probably going into her garden"

I don’t know if he was shitting there or not though? Knowing he sits on the fence and lounges on the grass doesn’t mean I know he’s been taking fat dumps in her roses.

OP posts:
BeautifulFaces · 30/04/2025 19:09

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 30/04/2025 19:07

Cats are protected by law as free roaming animals. The op has done nothing wrong.

Exactly. People think they are more entitled to the outdoors than animals.

Riaanna · 30/04/2025 19:09

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 18:26

I haven’t, but I absolutely would be willing to. As I’ve said 100 times I WANT to talk to her about it. But every time I go near her she either runs back indoors or acts like she can’t hear me.

Here’s the thing. You haven’t done anything to stop it. Forcing an awkward chat and waiting until she takes measures isn’t you repairing the situation. You should have got ahead of it.

mumda · 30/04/2025 19:07

You should make a bed in your garden to plant seeds in. Buy some expensive seeds to put in and you'll understand.