AIBU to be annoyed neighbour put spikes on the fence?

Do you find the millions of birds, amphibians and small mammals killed by non-native domesticated cats "sad" as well? Or someone having to pick cat shit out of their flower beds "sad"?

Personally I'd be thrilled to get extra security measures on my property for free, but then I live in Johannesburg 😂

It's odd that she hasn't been able to speak to you about it like an adult and has rather opted to ignore you all. Yes, it's probably the cat that has upset her, but I'd want to at least speak to her and find out, before forking out to cat-proof my garden.

But let’s be honest here….would you have thought your neighbours were bonkers if they knocked on your door asking for permission to get a cat?

Some of these responses are absolutely bonkers. Sorry you’re getting it in the neck, OP.

Your neighbour has chosen to air her grievance in an incredibly passive aggressive and emotionally immature way. You’ll be the bigger person if you knock on her door and politely ask what’s upset her. Surely that’s all there is to it?

It’s kind of you to offer to cat proof your garden, and probably safest option for kitty too. From cars, unruly dogs AND cat-hating neighbours.

I’m obviously oblivious to these demon cats. Both my neighbours have a cat. Sometimes I see them stroll across my garden, sometimes I’m out there doing some planting and digging, but can’t say I’ve actually noticed cat poo. Maybe I just mistake the poo for lumpy soil (my eyesight is pretty crap…), but I can say with all honesty that cats don’t bother me at all. I know lots of people who have cats and don’t get drama from neighbours. Bizarre….

This whole scenario is peak cat owner. Of course you know your pet is shitting in her garden 🙄 You decided to buy a pet that you know will enter other people's property, shit everywhere and scare off all the wildlife. Maybe even leave the remains of dead birds everywhere if she's lucky, like my neighbour's cat does in our garden. Fair enough, that's (unfortunately) your right. But to then react with indignation and accuse her of rudeness for being pissed off about it and taking measures to reduce the impact of your pet on her enjoyment of her own home is wildly lacking in self awareness.

If you're going to do anything about this, it should be to leave an apology note on her doorstep with a bottle of wine, expressing how sorry you are that it appears your pet is causing her problems in her own home, and offering to reimburse her for the spikes. Or better yet, have a look online at what they would have cost and post that amount of cash through the door with the note.

I can totally understand where your neighbour is coming from.

Our neighbours got a cat a few years ago too. It is an absolute menace. Using our garden as a toilet and it killed so many birds in our garden that I had to take our bird feeders down as frankly at that point I was luring them to their deaths!

But the vast, vast majority of cat owners will say "cats have a right to roam" and so there's little point saying anything. Because they are right even though it is annoying as hell. I too have chosen to keep the peace and just quietly cat proof the garden rather than potentially getting into a disagreement with the neighbours. I just don't want the confrontation and realistically, no cat owner is going to suddenly force their cat to be an indoor pet.

You are upset that she didn't consult you, but you didn't consult her when you got an antisocial pet.

These cat haters are WILD

Bloody hell some of these responses. If you didn’t have a cat then another cat would happily take its place as the garden crapper. Surprisingly you can’t have a conversation with a cat and ask it not to shit in Brenda’s garden.

My DM has always had cats trying to do their business in her garden and as a result she has employed HUMANE measures to deter them. Things like orange peel, wire over the top of vegetable patches / flower beds etc. Absolutely no need for spikes. Absolutely not.

If you really want to try and build bridges I’d suggest writing her a short, polite note and posting it through her letterbox asking if everything is ok, why has she puts the spikes up and to pop by if she’d like a chat about it. The ball is then firmly in her court.

My neighbour ran over and shouted at ME when he saw his cat jump through my lounge window. I was flabbergasted and didn't say anything back. He said I was encouraging it by having windows open. Twat.

I'm afraid that the typo where you accidently said you wouldn't do anything about the cat effectively destroyed this thread - now you don't know who formed their opinion based on that and who read the clarification.

(On top of those posters who didn't read more than the very first post)

I’ve actually slightly oversimplified the story - the cat from two doors down was the bully, but was coming over my NDN’s fence. NDN’s cat visited my garden too but wasn’t a problem, which was why NDNs didn’t want the spikes. Bully cat’s owners were disinterested in the problem, so I started turning the hose on it, which helped a bit, and then they moved away.

…so what happened? Does your cat still get beaten up..?

You do know. She’s put up spikes.

What a nasty thing to say when OP has explained she is ND and struggles to read between the lines.

Our neighbour has a cat. He’s lovely, really beautiful, but was an absolute menace to society with his shitting and bird-murdering.

The neighbour on the other side of us complained and the cat stopped visiting. Saw him out being walked on a lead the other day. The indignity 😂

What would you do to stop your cat crapping on her land?

Ok I'm coming right back at you on this one.

Firstly, my entire post was very mildly phrased and intended to be helpful, and OP herself responded to it and took it in that spirit ( as did others).

Secondly, ironically, if you yourself were a little more observant, you would have noticed how closely timed the OP's post stating that and mine were. I was already typing and posting when she dropped that information late into the thread.

If there's any shame going round here, you and your faux outrage on behalf of someone else can have it.

Agreed - and in fact I’ve done so, when my neighbour’s cat was coming into my garden to beat up my cat. I asked my neighbours if they were ok with me putting up cat-proofing spikes to stop their cat coming into mine, they weren’t, so I didn’t - it was a perfectly grown up conversation like adults have.

I know these types of threads typically attract extreme opinions etc but in all honesty OP I am struggling a bit to see what has annoyed you - and wonder, therefore, if you are clear yourself?

You started by saying AIBU to be annoyed about the spikes.
Then it was not about the spikes but about them being put up without notice.
Then it was about 3 years of blanking you.

In truth I suspect the final is probably the closest to the truth - that you are upset that you think the relationship between you has soured somehow.

I only mention it because, if you want to think of possible next steps then being clear with yourself WHAT is really upsetting you, is important.

The late Roger Scruton was brilliant on the ethics of cat ownership (https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-26383063.amp). It may be legal to let cats roam, but it is immoral for sure.

"Both dogs and cats are predators, but dogs can be trained not to kill. They can be trained to focus their hunting instincts on a particular species, or they can be bred to focus the very same instincts on some other and more humanly useful pursuit... Not so cats. Everything in their nature tends towards the single goal of killing, and although they can be pampered into relinquishing this goal, they are by that same process pampered into relinquishing their nature. A true cat wants out, and when out he or she wants death. The distinctions between fair and unfair game, between vermin and protected species, between friend and foe - all such distinctions have no significance for a cat, which sets off from the house in search of songbirds, field mice, shrews and other harmless and necessary creatures with no thought for anything save the taste of their blood. One estimate puts at 180 million the number of wild birds and mammals lost to cats each year in Britain. The domestic cat is, without exception, the most devastating of all the alien species that have been brought onto our island."

Well I've already posted above but I would like to add, having lived in situations with neighbour issues, and moved because of them, I think if you make this into a " big thing" with your neighbour you will truly regret it.

If the worst thing is she doesn't want to speak to you and has put up spikes on the fence, then, whilst it isn't ideal and pleasant, be assured it could be a million times worse.

And believe me neighbours problems can reach extreme levels of unpleasantness. And end up costing people money silly amounts in civil actions with no amicable resolutions.

My neighbour at a previous home actually put up spikes on the fence because he really objected to my feeding the birds and said I was attracting pigeons. Ignoring the fact he and his family regularly ate in his garden and the pigeons were attracted by the scraps of good. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. The spikes were a welcome relief after all the verbal aggression about it.

"Surely, it's mark of an adult to tell people if something is bothering you"

There are so many threads on MN where the OP really, really, doesn't want to do that (not just in a cat situation but any sort of vaguely confrontational situation)