Page 4 | AIBU to be annoyed neighbour put spikes on the fence?

SunnyLuny · 2025-04-30T16:28:26+00:00

We’ve lived in this house for nearly 5 years. At first neighbour was very welcoming and friendly. She’s an older lady (late 60s?) who lives on her own. She used to be lovely to our children. The past 3 years though shes just completely changed. She stopped talking to us, actively avoids us and blanks us. If we smile and say hello when we see her she looks down and pretends we aren’t speaking to her. It’s so bizarre. The only thing that has changed is we got a cat. He is an outdoor cat and admittedly probably does go into her garden. Today she’s been hammering spikes into the fence! No warning or conversation. Infact whenever we go outside she runs into her greenhouse to hide until we go back in! I think this is so passive aggressive and I’m actually upset that she seems to think she can’t even approach us. We’ve always been friendly. She’s never spoken to us about the cat bothering her. I probably wouldn’t be bothered about the spikes if she had told us beforehand or said she had an issue with the cat. DP thinks I should go speak to her and just ask what’s going on but my parents think I should just ignore it. Aibu if I say something?

ChocolateCinderToffee · 30/04/2025 22:26

My neighbour used to have a cat but after it died put spikes on our shared fence. In fact, hell would freeze over before my cat would jump over a six foot fence so she’s wasting her time.

Lilactimes · 30/04/2025 22:26

You’re getting a lot of hostility @SunnyLuny and I don’t really understand why. It’s not unlawful to keep a cat and your neighbour is behaving very strangely and you’re willing to discuss cat proofing her garden with her 🤷‍♀️

if you dig over a flower bed and make the soil very easy and light to dig (maybe add a small bag of top soil to it ) plus also have a litter tray inside, you may find your cat will go in one of these options and not leave your garden to mess. This may help, Hope you manage to resolve x

mackawhack · 30/04/2025 22:23

Wowsers some of these responses are batshit. I thought the crazies only came out in dog threads!

Did you consult her before purchasing a cat and allowing it to roam and poo in her garden?

Who consults a neighbour when they buy a cat or dog?

Bananagirlc · 30/04/2025 22:17

tillyandmilly · 30/04/2025 22:08

God there’s a lot of cat haters on here!

I know so weird. With gardens destroyed by cats and full of poo, people can’t go outside anymore or they will drown in 💩 or the cats come into their houses and sleep in their beds (another word thread). I have never come across this in real life ever. I actually feel a bit worried about my kitties now seeing so many cat haters out in force. Mine come in to use their litter tray and are scared of birds.

Kilroyonly · 30/04/2025 22:15

Manxexile · 30/04/2025 21:56

Why don't you do the "good neighbourly" thing and tell her you will clean the cat shit out of her garden?

Show quote history

Because there’s no way of knowing what cat did it. If a cat is all people have to worry about then they are lucky. Honestly the over reaction to a bit of cat poo is unbelievable. Foxes regularly crap on my garden & neighbour feeds them but I wouldn’t ever complain about it as in the scheme of things it isn’t a big deal

tillyandmilly · 30/04/2025 22:08

God there’s a lot of cat haters on here!

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 22:00

Itsjustsodepressing · 30/04/2025 21:54

I think it's a nice gesture you sending her a card and apologising if the cat has upset her.
But I really hope you don't go down the route of keeping puss inside. It's not fair on the cat especially if he has been used to life outdoors.
You actually don't even know for certain if the cat is actually what she is upset about. There could be many other reasons.

I’m looking into getting a catio or something similar. I’d only keep him inside as a last resort :)

OP posts:

Agapornis · 30/04/2025 21:58

Hopefully she'll respond to your card. You could offer to buy her a water pistol or super soaker (or garden hose) - I love my cats but a spray of a water is the most effective way to teach them not to do something, accompanied with 'no!'.

Suddenly blanking you like this for years after an initial friendly relationship is weird, regardless of her reasons.

Manxexile · 30/04/2025 21:56

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 17:43

Alright fair enough, personally I would have warned my neighbour before putting SPIKES onto a shared fence but clearly I’m in the minority 🤷🏼‍♀️

Why don't you do the "good neighbourly" thing and tell her you will clean the cat shit out of her garden?

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 21:56

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/04/2025 21:45

If you are serious about cat proofing and willing to put some money towards it then I recommend looking into protectapet.

protectapet.com/pages/cat-fence?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwlMfABhCWARIsADGXdy-Qiw39imoG2RWCD-6GHqrlAz8DyMNbXA1GfOp_-PaNn5Es0uAX7CMaAiSzEALw_wcB

I’ve seen that! Looking into getting that installed or a catio

OP posts:

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 21:54

Shitmonger · 30/04/2025 21:13

@SunnyLuny Is this outdoor cat of yours neutered?

yes

OP posts:

Itsjustsodepressing · 30/04/2025 21:54

I think it's a nice gesture you sending her a card and apologising if the cat has upset her.
But I really hope you don't go down the route of keeping puss inside. It's not fair on the cat especially if he has been used to life outdoors.
You actually don't even know for certain if the cat is actually what she is upset about. There could be many other reasons.

rosemarble · 30/04/2025 21:54

Cats just pick their way through the spikes.

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 21:54

SD1978 · 30/04/2025 21:47

The spikes won’t affect your children- and your cat will probably ignore them. If the change in relationship came at the same time as the cat, then it’s most likely related. Can you out some measures into place to stop the cat from leaving your garden? These kind of issues remind me how lucky I am to live in an area that cats are barred from leaving their own gardens or there is a massive fine.

her change to me started about 10 months after I got the cat. At first she was friendly to him and us. It was literally an overnight change towards us.

I don’t mind the spikes themselves, I wish she had spoken to me before now though so I could’ve resolved it myself without worsening our relationship. I’m looking into getting him a catio so he leaves her alone.

OP posts:

SD1978 · 30/04/2025 21:47

The spikes won’t affect your children- and your cat will probably ignore them. If the change in relationship came at the same time as the cat, then it’s most likely related. Can you out some measures into place to stop the cat from leaving your garden? These kind of issues remind me how lucky I am to live in an area that cats are barred from leaving their own gardens or there is a massive fine.

TheCurious0range · 30/04/2025 21:47

PurBal · 30/04/2025 21:20

However bad you think your cat is, I guarantee it’s worse. Neighbours have 3 cats and our garden basically can’t be used. They got into our greenhouse through a small hole we didn’t know was there, used it as a litter tray, all the plants destroyed. Dug up our veg patch (also a litter tray) and all our veg for the year, gone. Destroyed 2 fences with scratching. Poo everywhere so children can’t play outside without me poo-scooping first. Most recently one got into our house (hot so windows open) and it urinated all over our bedroom: windowsills, bed, floor, bedside lampshades. Hundreds of pounds worth of damage on top of the hundreds we’ve spent securing our garden (with mixed success). Until this experience I loved cats but I haven’t owned one and most I’d come across used a litter tray. We did have a few cats before but it was nothing more than a bit annnoying until they arrived. I’ve known mice do less damage, and at least you can trap them. Cats have more rights than dog, there’s literally nothing we can do except pray they move. But as it stands we’re thinking of putting our house on the market.

Regardless of who owns the fence it’s designed as a barrier, so u don’t see the problem. Your cat gets in her garden, she’s made sure the fence is fit for purpose.

I'm a cat owner but would suggest a motion sensor sprinkler , they'll soon learn and no harm caused , they do sound like particularly destructive cats

Growlybear83 · 30/04/2025 21:47

I’m a cat lover and have had cats all my life, but I completely understand that my neighbours don’t necessarily appreciate my cat sitting on their windowsill and staring at their new baby, or crapping on thwir flowerbeds. I wouldn’t mind in the slightest if they chose to put some spikes on the fence to keep him out because it’s their fence - I would feel differently if I owned the fence and would not be happy with anyone tampering with it. I’ve always made it clear to my neighbours that if they find my cat is being a nuisance they are welcome to chase him away. He came home a couple of days ago soaking wet and I assume that someone must have soaked him with their hose to get rid of him, and I’ve got no objection to that .

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/04/2025 21:45

If you are serious about cat proofing and willing to put some money towards it then I recommend looking into protectapet.

protectapet.com/pages/cat-fence?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwlMfABhCWARIsADGXdy-Qiw39imoG2RWCD-6GHqrlAz8DyMNbXA1GfOp_-PaNn5Es0uAX7CMaAiSzEALw_wcB

prelovedusername · 30/04/2025 21:45

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 21:34

I’ve written her a card to apologise 😊

Show quote history

That’s a nice approach OP, I hope it goes well for you.

Just a tip, our (necessarily) indoor cat had a covered litter tray which was kept clean at all times. We used puppy pads to line it and clumping litter to a good depth, with a scented sprinkle for good measure. Clumps were picked out and double bagged as soon as the cat had finished.

Cats will learn to use a clean litter tray. You might need to keep it in for a few days, see what its habits are and let it out once business has been done. Good luck!

CorbyTrouserPress · 30/04/2025 21:43

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 21:35

What does it do? Cover their paws in paint? Does it actually deter them or do they ignore it and carry on? I’ll look into getting it myself

Show quote history

Please don’t get anti vandal paint. It is not very effective and potentially quite dangerous for the cat.

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 21:35

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/04/2025 21:34

Tell her anti vandal paint is more effective. Cats hate it, as do cat owners.

What does it do? Cover their paws in paint? Does it actually deter them or do they ignore it and carry on? I’ll look into getting it myself

OP posts:

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 21:34

prelovedusername · 30/04/2025 21:30

Our next door neighbour’s cat was a destructive little bastard, it punctured the rim of our inflatable pool, slept at night on our garden furniture leaving it covered in hair, sharpened its claws on anything it fancied, sprawled in our garden beds crushing the plants, chased and killed our visiting bird life, and shat in random places in the middle of our lawn where we picked it up on our lawnmower blade. However much you may love your cat, it might be making her really miserable.

I’ve written her a card to apologise 😊

OP posts:

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/04/2025 21:34

Tell her anti vandal paint is more effective. Cats hate it, as do cat owners.

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 21:31

CandidRobin · 30/04/2025 21:06

You didn't think to warn her that you were getting a cat that would encroach on her property, but are concerned about a shared fence. The spikes won't cause you any difficulty personally, but your cat will certainly cause her alot of bother. Often much more than just using the gsrden as a toilet which is bad enough.
My neighbour's cats come into our home through open windows. They persist even though they do not get a warm welcome. I am now unable to leave windows open in rooms unless someone is there. This is a massive inconvenience. One of them lies in the sun on our doorstep and hisses at us when we knock the window to scare it away before we try to exit our home. I detest cats yet there is nothing I can do about this.

Show quote history

Another person who hasn’t actually read my post. I don’t mind her putting up deterrents. I accept my cat has clearly caused her issues since she’s resorted to this. I’m asking if I’m unreasonable to talk it through with her and try figure out what I can do to help the situation, rather than her ignoring me and running away.

OP posts:

prelovedusername · 30/04/2025 21:30

Our next door neighbour’s cat was a destructive little bastard, it punctured the rim of our inflatable pool, slept at night on our garden furniture leaving it covered in hair, sharpened its claws on anything it fancied, sprawled in our garden beds crushing the plants, chased and killed our visiting bird life, and shat in random places in the middle of our lawn where we picked it up on our lawnmower blade. However much you may love your cat, it might be making her really miserable.