Page 3 | AIBU to be annoyed neighbour put spikes on the fence?

SunnyLuny · 2025-04-30T16:28:26+00:00

We’ve lived in this house for nearly 5 years. At first neighbour was very welcoming and friendly. She’s an older lady (late 60s?) who lives on her own. She used to be lovely to our children. The past 3 years though shes just completely changed. She stopped talking to us, actively avoids us and blanks us. If we smile and say hello when we see her she looks down and pretends we aren’t speaking to her. It’s so bizarre. The only thing that has changed is we got a cat. He is an outdoor cat and admittedly probably does go into her garden. Today she’s been hammering spikes into the fence! No warning or conversation. Infact whenever we go outside she runs into her greenhouse to hide until we go back in! I think this is so passive aggressive and I’m actually upset that she seems to think she can’t even approach us. We’ve always been friendly. She’s never spoken to us about the cat bothering her. I probably wouldn’t be bothered about the spikes if she had told us beforehand or said she had an issue with the cat. DP thinks I should go speak to her and just ask what’s going on but my parents think I should just ignore it. Aibu if I say something?

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 23:06

AInightingale · 30/04/2025 22:57

It doesn't actually sound like the cat is the problem (although most of the posters here are very anxious to believe that).

Have you done something else to offend her, even unintentionally? Has your son been climbing into her garden without permission? Damaging anything overhanging your garden? (which is yours anyway but some people are just weird and petty). Are balls or toys going over the fence?

I can't understand why a person who loathed cats to the extent that they completely ceased contact with a neighbour who kept one would stay on good terms with another outdoor cat owner.

I have no idea. Our houses aren’t attached, our son doesn’t play outside much but when he does it’s never for longer than an hour. In the 5 years we’ve lived here I think a ball has gone over twice and she throws them away instead of chucking it back over. We don’t do anything to the garden other than mow it and have a couple of small potted plants. Rarely have people round. We have a trampoline that was nearer to her side of the fence (not touching the fence or unreasonably close, just on that side of the garden) and she sent us a note to move it away. This is why I’m confused as she has raised issues before that we’ve fixed straight away.

OP posts:

Kilroyonly · 30/04/2025 23:00

genesis92 · 30/04/2025 22:54

To all the anti cat brigade….please could you also stop your dogs from barking and shitting all over our streets? I literally can’t stand sitting in my garden hearing dogs barking in peoples gardens. It happens anywhere you go.

100% I live rurally & have working dogs & none of them bark but I can hear a yapping rat from the house 1/2 mile away. It’s persistent & absolutely bloody annoying. A cat crapping on my garden is nothing compared to the frustration of that sound

AInightingale · 30/04/2025 22:57

It doesn't actually sound like the cat is the problem (although most of the posters here are very anxious to believe that).

Have you done something else to offend her, even unintentionally? Has your son been climbing into her garden without permission? Damaging anything overhanging your garden? (which is yours anyway but some people are just weird and petty). Are balls or toys going over the fence?

I can't understand why a person who loathed cats to the extent that they completely ceased contact with a neighbour who kept one would stay on good terms with another outdoor cat owner.

genesis92 · 30/04/2025 22:54

To all the anti cat brigade….please could you also stop your dogs from barking and shitting all over our streets? I literally can’t stand sitting in my garden hearing dogs barking in peoples gardens. It happens anywhere you go.

StarDolphins · 30/04/2025 22:50

Goodness me, she sounds difficult! I’d just totally ignore her & her rudeness & enjoy my life! She doesn’t sound nice!

BlondiePortz · 30/04/2025 22:47

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 17:39

It’s the fact it’s out of nowhere. She’s never mentioned having an issue with the cat - yes if she said something I wouldn’t tried to prevent it by cat proofing or even keeping him indoors. She’s literally not even given us eye contact for 3 years. I think it’s rude to put spikes on my fence with no warning at all. If she had a conversation with me to say the cat is bothering me can we do something about it of course I would have cooperated!

Can you not work out yourself an outside cat would do this? Why would you need to be told?

RareMaker · 30/04/2025 22:46

Don't stress. My neighbour done this and my cat just walked over it!

Aprilweather · 30/04/2025 22:45

Bananagirlc · 30/04/2025 22:17

I know so weird. With gardens destroyed by cats and full of poo, people can’t go outside anymore or they will drown in 💩 or the cats come into their houses and sleep in their beds (another word thread). I have never come across this in real life ever. I actually feel a bit worried about my kitties now seeing so many cat haters out in force. Mine come in to use their litter tray and are scared of birds.

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It does happen.
I even had them on camera.
And one randomly in a living room in a summer. Though just exploring and run out.

Most people don't actually hate cats. They hate the fact that someone else's pet is ruining their enjoyment of their property, causing damage and they are not allowed to moan because "what daya wanus to do ya cat haterz🐱🥰😇🤷"

MsAmerica · 30/04/2025 22:39

What if you wrote a nice note saying: Oh, I noticed your recent addition of spikes in the fence. Is there something going on I should know about?
It could be something unrelated - like she read an article about burglars leaping over fences.

Original poster

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 22:39

Foreheadthing · 30/04/2025 22:28

OP this is so bizarre. It sounds like you've been good friendly neighbours, and even while you first had the cat this continued for 10 whole months. What I'm wondering is, why did the cat suddenly become an issue overnight, if that was the issue? And tbh I do think it's bizarre at best, but the woman has been downright rude and blanked you for seemingly no reason whatsoever, with no communication and won't even engage with you? Sorry but that's ridiculously extreme! I'd expect a friendly neighbour who was close enough to help you with the kitten initially, to at least be able to communicate an issue before completely cutting you off. "Oh I think your cat has been pooing in my garden... It is becoming a bit of a problem".

I totally get that some people just avoid, and can't face any kind of confrontation or conversation about difficult things... and yes it may well be the cat. But it's very sad she couldn't just say, and honestly I'd be more worried the woman has had some kind of stroke, or is starting with dementia or something!

Anyway that's just my 2 pence. I'm surprised so many people are batting off the lady's behaviour as totally normal. For me, it's not! Normal people would have a quiet word, or put cat proofing measures in yes, but completely ignore you and pretend you don't exist? Sorry that's not normal to me!

Thank you, this is exactly what I was trying to get at with my post. However people have just been attacking me like crazy! We had the cat a while with no issues. We were friendly, she gave us extra plants she had, we would often stop to chat. Nothing has ever been said. It’s not even just me she ignores, she even ignores my young son who she used to talk to all the time! She could’ve left a note, she’s done that before about issues. She left us a note a few weeks ago to move our trampoline as she wanted it away from her side of the fence. Which we did straight away. Also her other neighbour has a cat who also roams but there’s no spikes on that fence!

I’m not against the cat proofing I just want to clear the hostility she has between us. I’ve sent her a friendly card which she can reply to or not. I’ll get a catio and hopefully the anger she holds towards us will subside.

OP posts:

Eyerollexpert · 30/04/2025 22:39

OP your partner thinks you should go round 😂 why not him??
A number of years ago a neighbour did something similar for similar situation but also put rubber snakes on the fence. Fruit loop. She was the mum of my best friend when I was a teenager, she was always a little different.

mackawhack · 30/04/2025 22:36

slept at night on our garden furniture leaving it covered in hair,

😱

BellesAndGraces · 30/04/2025 22:34

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 19:11

How can I get ahead of a problem I had no idea about?

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In your OP you said:

The past 3 years though shes just completely changed. She stopped talking to us, actively avoids us and blanks us. If we smile and say hello when we see her she looks down and pretends we aren’t speaking to her. It’s so bizarre. The only thing that has changed is we got a cat. He is an outdoor cat and admittedly probably does go into her garden.

So actually you did have a very good idea of what the problem was. If you were so motivated to resolve the issue you could have sent a card 3 years ago. It seems that you’ve only done that now because you’re upset about the spikes.

Lilactimes · 30/04/2025 22:33

TheCurious0range · 30/04/2025 21:47

I'm a cat owner but would suggest a motion sensor sprinkler , they'll soon learn and no harm caused , they do sound like particularly destructive cats

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They sound a nightmare!!!! That’s so awful.

my cats are old and largely stay in with litter trays and a dirt box on rhe balcony.
Our dog keeps all other neighbourhood cats out of our house and garden… I feel for my neighbour who has no animals to protect her garden - dread to think what goes on in it.

Unrelated38 · 30/04/2025 22:33

All this "she can put spikes up if she wants." She actually can't. Not without putting warning signs on the fence and only if it's over 2m.

Nonetheless. Being so rude and hiding away is wierd. She's taken a personal issue with you for getting a cat and I don't think that's justified.

Shitmonger · 30/04/2025 22:33

SunnyLuny · 30/04/2025 21:54

yes

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Have you ever seen him spray? If they’re neutered early enough they often don’t but you mentioned that she got funny when you’d had him for around 10 months. Assuming he was a few months old when you got him, that would be around the time he’d start spraying.

mackawhack · 30/04/2025 22:33

@SunnyLuny in all seriousness her behaviour isn't normal. I would worry about dementia as opposed to here having PTSD from drowning in shit.

mackawhack · 30/04/2025 22:32

How do people here cope with fox shit and bird shit?

Foreheadthing · 30/04/2025 22:31

I also agree that I wouldn't be putting cat proofing measures in place if you don't actually know for sure that's the reason. Maybe she's gone mad and thinks you're some kind of murderer, and is trying to keep on the low down and the spikes are for protection from you climbing over to get her in the middle of the night! 😂

mackawhack · 30/04/2025 22:31

Your cat is shitting all over her garden. On her grass and in her flowerbeds. She can no longer walk around her garden without looking at her feet and cannot dig her garden without thick gloves and occasionally stumbles in a very stinky bomb that she missed on her regular cat shit pick. The birds that used to nest in her garden have given up. She knows this is totally socially acceptable to everyone else and is doing her best to contain her rage at the unfairness of it and the intractability of the situation.

Did you live next door to a giant cat or something? How much shit did it produce. My neighbours have cats but it's the fox poo I need to look out for. Don't worry, still plenty of birds & i've never stumbled over shit.

mackawhack · 30/04/2025 22:29

@Bananagirlc @tillyandmilly these threads are not representative of real life, thankfully.

Foreheadthing · 30/04/2025 22:28

OP this is so bizarre. It sounds like you've been good friendly neighbours, and even while you first had the cat this continued for 10 whole months. What I'm wondering is, why did the cat suddenly become an issue overnight, if that was the issue? And tbh I do think it's bizarre at best, but the woman has been downright rude and blanked you for seemingly no reason whatsoever, with no communication and won't even engage with you? Sorry but that's ridiculously extreme! I'd expect a friendly neighbour who was close enough to help you with the kitten initially, to at least be able to communicate an issue before completely cutting you off. "Oh I think your cat has been pooing in my garden... It is becoming a bit of a problem".

I totally get that some people just avoid, and can't face any kind of confrontation or conversation about difficult things... and yes it may well be the cat. But it's very sad she couldn't just say, and honestly I'd be more worried the woman has had some kind of stroke, or is starting with dementia or something!

Anyway that's just my 2 pence. I'm surprised so many people are batting off the lady's behaviour as totally normal. For me, it's not! Normal people would have a quiet word, or put cat proofing measures in yes, but completely ignore you and pretend you don't exist? Sorry that's not normal to me!

Inthebleakmidwinter1 · 30/04/2025 22:28

Your cat is shitting all over her garden. On her grass and in her flowerbeds. She can no longer walk around her garden without looking at her feet and cannot dig her garden without thick gloves and occasionally stumbles in a very stinky bomb that she missed on her regular cat shit pick. The birds that used to nest in her garden have given up. She knows this is totally socially acceptable to everyone else and is doing her best to contain her rage at the unfairness of it and the intractability of the situation.

HopefulBeliever · 30/04/2025 22:27

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 30/04/2025 17:40

I absolutely and utterly DETEST cats shitting in my garden. I understand there is nothing I can do about it. I understand i have to "let them"......but fuck me it really really annoys me

The arrogance. The entitled ness.

If i had the energy I'd put spikes on my fence too

Go neighbour, go!

Totally and utterly agree. Next door’s cat is an arse and does its business everywhere apart from its own backyards and purposefully winds the neighbourhood dogs up.

mackawhack · 30/04/2025 22:27

Not everyone likes cats

Really? I can't tell from this thread