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What to expect 10 year olds to do round the house...

90 replies

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 30/04/2025 14:26

A friend said her kids do all the laundry... start to finish. I tried this with my kids it lasted one wash and I nagged the hell out of them. Back to me doing laundry.
What reasonable house tasks can I get them to take ownership of?

OP posts:
Bananagirlc · 30/04/2025 23:52

Mine never did anything at that age. They are now adults and fairly tidy and clean.

Thisshirtisonfire · 30/04/2025 23:49

My son is 9 and he does a lot to help.. but i do have to remind him constantly. I think at that age you do.
He does a good job though.
He doesn't put the washing on but he does move washing from the washer upstairs to the drier and then moves it from the drier and sorts it into piles of what belongs to who.
He also hoovers the stairs, cleans and tidies the toddlers play pen, cleans the table, puts his clean laundry away, changes his bed.
However he does none of this unprompted. I do have to say "can you please do this now"

Ladamesansmerci · 30/04/2025 23:41

I think for that age, things like putting away their own laundry, setting the table, tidying their room, making sure things they want washing are in the laundry basket, feeding pets, etc. Basically things that take less than 30 minutes per day. I don't want my child to feel burnt out because she comes home from school and has a ton of chores to do. I want her to experience being a child. You have your whole adult life to come home from work, do chores, cook, and then only be left with an hour tops to relax. I think oddly small children are different, as a 4 year old might find it fun to follow you around with a duster or watering plants in the garden!

I wouldn't personally expect a 10 year old to help with cooking meals multiple times a week. I think they need time to be children as well.

I actually think a lot of it depends on the personality of the child. My mum never made me and my brother do anything. My brother is now really tidy. Naturally I'm very messy, and it's a conscious effort for me to keep on top of. I don't think anything my mum would have done would have made a difference. But I love cooking, whereas my brother hates it lol. Then my friend who had a lot more chores than me, is about average in terms of tidiness 🤷

Chungai · 30/04/2025 23:28

Mine are supposed to lay the table, clear their plates from the table afterwards, unload the dishwasher and keep their rooms reasonably tidy /tidy up their toys and clothes. And put away their own clean laundry (I put it in their rooms).

In reality it's a battle to get them to do anything. They are 9 and 12.

Gustavo77 · 30/04/2025 23:20

Absolutely nothing, their children not staff. Their time will come when they're older, let them be children for goodness sake!

Dramatic · 30/04/2025 23:14

queenofthesuburbs · 30/04/2025 19:45

I don't think they should be making their own packed lunch, nor change bedding (yes help mum but not be responsible for it), nor do other laundry, nor "cook" twice a week when they are still in Primary School.

Still I bet their mum looks relaxed and youthful, so maybe I should stop being such a soft touch and just pour myself a G and T

Why would a 10 year old not be able to pack a lunch? It takes very little time and is very good for their independence.

TaupePanda · 30/04/2025 22:24

Interesting set of responses here.

Idk about 10 year olds, but my 4 and 6 year old are responsible for:

Sorting and putting out the recycling every week with supervision (they weirdly love this job).

Putting their plates/bowls into the dishwasher after use.

Getting their own water / drink during the day.

Picking up laundry in their bathroom every Saturday morning ready for me to load the dishwasher.

Helping put their laundry away as I do it.

Weekly room tidy up so I can hoover.

Frankly I don't want to raise men who weaponise incompetence as a result of being mummied. Kids can definitely take on responsibility and we'll be adding to the list as they get older. Each job takes 10 mins max and teaches essential life skills.

SatsumaCat · 30/04/2025 22:07

My 10 year old sets the table for dinner, usually makes his own lunch 1 or 2 times at the weekend, feeds the cats in the morning, puts away his laundry (some nagging required). Have just started with them doing 1 load of own laundry from start to finish.

Natsku · 30/04/2025 22:00

I've seen that list a few times, always cracks me up!

7 year old DS seems to have cracked 'knows basics of faith' as he prayed to Jesus that his sister would lose her volleyball match quickly so they could go home Grin
Nevermind the fact that we're not religious at all!

EilishMcCandlish · 30/04/2025 21:53

I can't remember where this list came from, but I saved it for the sheer comedy value of anyone thinking 10 year olds were capable of wilderness survival, amongst a host of other batshittery!

What to expect 10 year olds to do round the house...
Natsku · 30/04/2025 21:46

DD has been responsible for sweeping the floors every day since she was 8 or 9. At some point, though I can't remember what age) she became responsible for emptying the dishwasher. She does the dishes several times a week but that wasn't until she was 12 I think, she was too short before that!

Wtafdidido · 30/04/2025 21:40

My 9 year old is responsible for all aspects of keeping her room clean and tidy, putting her dirty laundry in the hamper and clean stuff away, dusting hoovering tidying and emptying her bin. I do change the bedsheets because her bed is an awkward one to change and she is quite petite for her age. She also dries up, preps dinner for our dogs and gets them fresh water, and helps with putting away the groceries. All our children help out and do whatever is asked of them as we started them from a very early age and have raised them to know that we are a team. We all live here and all help out. They don’t see it as chores. It’s so important that cleaning, tidying, cooking etc become normal so they become capable young adults.

LittleGem87 · 30/04/2025 20:06

Mine did the dishwasher and fed the cats morning and night, now he's almost an adult he does F ALL!!!

InsertUsernameHereeee · 30/04/2025 20:03

My 10 year old puts their laundry away, can put the washing machine on, empties the dishwasher and puts dishes away, tidies their room, strips and helps make their bed, general tidying up. Usually it’s done without a fuss and if there is a fuss then no Xbox etc until what I’ve asked has been done.

faerietales · 30/04/2025 19:52

queenofthesuburbs · 30/04/2025 19:45

I don't think they should be making their own packed lunch, nor change bedding (yes help mum but not be responsible for it), nor do other laundry, nor "cook" twice a week when they are still in Primary School.

Still I bet their mum looks relaxed and youthful, so maybe I should stop being such a soft touch and just pour myself a G and T

It's pretty much what I was doing at that age - it really isn't all that much work.

queenofthesuburbs · 30/04/2025 19:45

faerietales · 30/04/2025 19:29

It's not actually that much is it? It's just listed in a way that makes it seem that way. It's basically:

Get your own stuff stuff sorted for school including lunches
Make their bed
Laundry
Tidy their room
Help clear up after dinner
Load the dishwasher
Help with dinner twice a week.

I don't think they should be making their own packed lunch, nor change bedding (yes help mum but not be responsible for it), nor do other laundry, nor "cook" twice a week when they are still in Primary School.

Still I bet their mum looks relaxed and youthful, so maybe I should stop being such a soft touch and just pour myself a G and T

penelopemoneypenny · 30/04/2025 19:42

All mine since they could walk have ‘got involved’ with the housework but by 2-3 years old they would
take their plates out to be washed
load the washing machine
Unload the washing machine
strip their beds
wipe down surfaces (with a wet wipe not actually chemicals)
hoover with a hand held hoover
put any rubbish in the bin
get their own drinks ready for school (water jug with a tap)
tidy their rooms
hang up wet washing
Put away dry washing
wipe down the windows (again without chemicals)
wash the car
mow the lawn
pair the socks cause I bloody hated doing that
etc

were any of the above done quickly or well? Mostly not but it was about getting them into a routine and thinking about it

but certainly by 10 all the above they are more than capable to do with little or no prompt

purpleme12 · 30/04/2025 19:35

Tidy up after themselves
Put washing in washing basket
Washing up
Clean surfaces of kitchen
Clean bathroom
They'd be capable of all them but depends what you want to make them do!

Ecrire · 30/04/2025 19:35

DS is 9. He tidies his bedroom each morning, empties the dishwasher and puts clean dishes away, and listens to DD5 read over breakfast. He’d rather not do any of these things but he understands being part of a family means some amount of drudgery….

I have no doubt at all that the minute he’s living on his own bedrooms will remain unmade and dishes on the side.

we do what we can!

MsNevermore · 30/04/2025 19:34

kwetu · 30/04/2025 19:31

I’m off to find myself a decent receptacle to use as our fuck it bucket! Thankyou!

Hopefully it will prove to be as revolutionary for you as it has for us!

All hail the fuck it bucket!

Assssofspades · 30/04/2025 19:33

My 9 year old dusts the skirting boards, puts his laundry away, does a full tidy of his room, will wash up any bits that can't go in/don't fit in the dishwasher.

kwetu · 30/04/2025 19:31

MsNevermore · 30/04/2025 14:40

I expect my 10yo to:

  • Put away her own clean laundry
  • Make her bed, strip it and put it back together on sheet washing days
  • Generally pick up after herself

Other than that, she doesn’t have set chores. But I also don’t suffer fools when it comes to the basics I do ask of her.
Bed isn’t stripped? Sheets don’t get washed.
Laundry isn’t put away? I’m not doing further laundry until I get the empty basket back.
Not picking up after herself? I’ll go round picking up items that aren’t put away and they go in what we lovingly call “The Fuck It Bucket” 🫠😂
If it’s still in the Fuck It Bucket after 2 weeks and hasn’t been put away, I’ll assume it’s an unwanted item and either throw it away or donate it, depending on what it is.

I’m off to find myself a decent receptacle to use as our fuck it bucket! Thankyou!

faerietales · 30/04/2025 19:29

queenofthesuburbs · 30/04/2025 19:26

All this at age 10????

It's not actually that much is it? It's just listed in a way that makes it seem that way. It's basically:

Get your own stuff stuff sorted for school including lunches
Make their bed
Laundry
Tidy their room
Help clear up after dinner
Load the dishwasher
Help with dinner twice a week.

queenofthesuburbs · 30/04/2025 19:26

mathanxiety · 30/04/2025 16:12

They should be responsible for -
Their own school lunches.
Emptying their schoolbags regularly and disposing of worksheets or work they've brought home.
Keeping track of when they need PE gear, art supplies, etc. for school and getting that ready the night before.

Making their own beds daily.
Stripping their beds once a week, putting on a bedding plus clothing wash, putting wash out to dry, remaking their beds, putting clothing away or in airing cupboard along with bedding.
Keeping their rooms tidy and clean - all hoovering and polishing and window cleaning.

Helping with meal prep twice a week. They should be learning to prepare a whole meal - maybe Saturday lunch to start with.
Loading or unloading dishwasher.
Bringing their own plates, glasses, mugs, to the kitchen after all meals or snacks or drinks, scraping or emptying, and leaving them wherever you prefer to have them left.

You for your part will need to sit them down and make sure they understand your expectations, including performing the chores and doing them without whining. Make a chore chart and a reminder notice about whining.

Take them to task about whining and do not let things slide. Your management skills are essential here, and you need to be on the ball constantly.

Yes, that means work, but it's essential you do this work. You will be teaching your DCs essential life skills, developing their confidence and self esteem enormously, showing them they are accountable to you (supremely important as the teen years approach), and demonstrating management skills to them too.

You will be training them to transition smoothly into the next phase of their lives, where responsibility and accountability must accompany a certain amount of increased trust and freedom.

All this at age 10????

faerietales · 30/04/2025 17:37

When I was 10, I did washing up, made my own bed, tidied my room, put away laundry, vacuumed, emptied bins etc.