What to expect 10 year olds to do round the house...

i presume you iron every day then 😂We're nearing the end of our night visitors just thought about recently (aside from the dog!) so cherishing them while i can 😢Either way, no ironing happening here- the cat and dog hair alone would make it insane!

😁 bedding is about it being nice to get in to ironed sheets not who sees them 😂 thankfully only me and DP see ours rather than me having a lot of night visitors who inspect them!

My goodness you're very committed! Although already tapering off already since the 'peak-ironing' of the 80s, i thought the pandemic had nearly killed off the industry (aside from those office workers whom still have to wear formal attire). I stand corrected! :) (childrens' sheets though... who ever sees them?)

My 10yo:

• Puts out the food waste bin weekly and cleans it after
• Makes sure his room is tidy (not always smooth sailing with this one...)
• Puts away clean laundry
• Feeds pet (cleans out enclosure occasionally when I can be bothered having the argument...)
• Sets the table occasionally
• Puts away dirty dishes and rubbish (this sound obvious but my DH was raised by parents who collect all of the dishes and kids' rubbish around the house... not a pattern I'm willing to perpetuate...)
• Occasionally sweeps, mops, hoovers... usually only if he's after extra pocket money

In the next year or two I'd like to introduce basic cooking skills. He can already peel and chop veg and do some baking without much help.

I'm not bothered about making the bed every day. His preference really.

🤣

I'm sorry but what 2-3 year old mows the lawn 😂I think this is a spoof

It shouldn’t be one or the other. Everybody lives in the house so everybody should be pulling their weight. (age appropriately)

My 11 year old is more capable of wilderness survival than putting clean pants on 😂

DD is nearly 10. She makes her bed, puts her dirty clothes in the wash basket, cleans the table after meals and empties the dishwasher. She can do all of this well but needs a lot of reminders which is infuriating. I would like for her to take responsibility for changing her bedsheets and hovering her bedroom as.well - I think these will introduced during the summer holidays! Dd7 does fuck all - every single thing is a massive fight with her. She'll grudgingly carry her dirty dishes.to the kitchen but that's it.

Keep bedroom tidy
Put laundry in the linen basket
Put toys away from living room
Take plates, cups etc to the kitchen ready to be washed up after use

As a child at that age, my jobs were washing the breakfast pots, setting the table with Dsis, Dsis and I were on drying up duty after dinner, hoovering and dusting lounge once a week, and of course my own room.

I've got to say, the only bit I resented was my room. It wasn't a communal area, and I really didn't see what difference it made to anyone else if my bed wasn't made in the morning or my books/toys were out. I didn't break things, stuck to the house rule of no food in the bedroom, etc, but found the massive dramas over my room OTT, to be honest. If I had scrawled on the walls, or left mugs to grow entire civilisations in there, fair enough. If stuff got broken because I was untidy, fair enough. But none of that was the case, so I guess I was guilty of being nagged about it because I just didn't get the problem.

Would it have been easier if I had just done it? Well, yes, but it was the one bit of the house that was my space. Yes, it was my parents house, but I didn't damage the walls, or break the things they bought me. I just wanted to be comfortable in just one room.

I never had kids, so will always wonder if I would have understood the issue if I had kids, or if my mother and I were simply two different people. Which we still are, 40 years on, my version of tidy still isn't hers, but when she comes round I do my best to ensure she's comfortable in it).

wandered off the point a bit, there, sorry.

Wow this is more shocking than your original post.

Why is a fully grown adult now doing the bare minimum to contribute to keeping his own home running?

At 10?
put clothes in dirty laundry
hang towel on hook
close lid of loo and flush everytime
keep school/ sports items together and in mud room
empty dishwasher
put pillows back on couch and blankets away (not necessarily folded just away)
get up with alarm and start getting ready

its a long process training up a child to be independent. I should add I’m USA and 10 to me is very young (as is 18) and we did very little growing up as my sahm owned the house it was her kingdom and my DS and I both keep spotless homes and db is pretty tidy for a single man who owns animals and a farm.

You’re having to undo years of them thinking things can be left “because mom will do it”
start with a small daily job and work up. I know you don’t want to pay them, but some form of reward system usually helps.

my girls are 5 and 3, and the 5 year old will make her bed in the morning (not perfectly, obviously, but tidy) put her dishes by the sink/dishwasher after a meal, tidy they playroom before bed time, tidy away toys out in their room.
the 3 year old helps put laundry in the washer or dryer, bring dirty laundry through to the utility, helps an adult empty the dishwasher and they both help feed the cats.

I just can’t imagine them getting to 10 and not doing some form of household chores.

Mine have one chore each - so one does the dishwasher, one puts away laundry (I do the actual washing) and one hoovers.
Plus they look after their pets and keep their rooms tidy.

That's ridiculous. Maybe clearing the table occasionally and loading the dishwasher sometimes. And not creating a mess would be helpful.

From toddlers they learnt to put dirty clothes in the washing basket on the landing; clear their things from the dining table and help tidy away their toys.
We had an extension built when they were about 8 and had our first dishwasher.
It was their job to empty it before school (after I'd removed any sharp knives). They also helped pair socks, put the food shop away, sort out a basket of dirty washing and they were expected to empty school bags (drink and snack containers for washing up) and put swim kit in the washing machine.
Before we went away/holidays/school trips/cub and scout camps they helped with sorting everything out that they needed/wanted to take. I checked they had everything and then oversaw it being packed (especially for school trips/camps so they knew where to find everything).

At 10 I don't expect anything. At 13 both were expected to hoover the house whilst I was at work. I can't be bothered to nag and I don't think it changes who they become. My mum was a SAHM but I was desperate to help her and learn stuff, be independent whilst my DB was just annoyed by her going in his room. My kids are opposite now they have their own homes, one being very untidy and disorganised, the other being borderline obsessively clean and tidy. If you can afford it, get a cleaner. Takes all the emotions out of housework!

@JustTalkToThem and @Thunderpants88 i def didn’t give up on boundaries and quit after 1 go. As I said I nagged and nagged and bribed and withheld pocket money.

At the end of the day I’ve decided my kids are busy enough then I’m going to let them be kids and not have massive expectations that they should contribute to running a house. As adults we’re living too 80+ so why not give the kids 15 years of being free of some chores. They still do some stuff and they do their homework and reading. Have minimal screen time and maybe TV 3 times a week tops. I’m just going to let them be kids. I don’t remember doing anything as 10 year old and I’ve grown up as a perfectly capable adult so I have absolutely no doubt my kids will get there too but they don’t need the additional burden right now.

I went in a gap year at 18 having probably never cooked a meal or done laundry regularly and I managed fine…. Never looked back and never lived at home again. I’m a firm believer that independence is so empowering for kids when they’re ready they will bloom into it. No need to waste years nagging and adding to stress levels of everyone involved.

plus for me there’s a gender element as my eldest is a girl and youngest a boy so I am massively conscious not to have higher expectations of eldest.

when the kids show glimmers of wanting to be helpful / independent eg wanting to bake themselves I am not a helecopter parent. But I’m henceforth signing out of unnecessary nagging… this even includes homework. I asked my daughter on Monday if she wanted me to keep asking or if she wanted not to do it this week and she choose the latter. I have no doubt she will excel academically and in life and I will always be there if she needs me. Hmmm now just thinking what I do about the begging for piano practise since it costs a small fortune I do want them to practise but is it worth it…..

Sounds harsh but they don’t need to love it. They need you to stick to your parenting boundaries and make them help. No kid wants to but every kid needs to learn responsibility and that being part of a family is team work and we all have a role.

No.
We both work full time and there are 3 children. If they didn't all help around the house within the limits of how old they are, then things would fall apart
We are all members of the household so we all contribute.
And it's very good for kids to learn how to do this things so they just become second nature. Keeping your environment tidy and clean is as important as personal hygiene.
You wouldn't say "oh it doesn't matter just let them be kids" about showering.. why do it about keeping their house clean and tidy? These are very important skills to keep themselves safe and healthy