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AIBU?

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Original poster

Has my husband lost his mind?

202 replies

orangesky1 · 30/04/2025 13:23

My husband has decided he wants to go and be a holiday tour leader overseas. With tips, his view is that this would be reasonably well paid.

we have a child in a school. I have a good job. He is deeply unhappy with the day to day life as a parent. We have a really good life but he doesn’t see it that way. This proposal is the only way he can see himself happy.

he wants us to go out there with him. I have said he can do this but he has to go there first by himself and show that it will work. I don’t believe it will, and will not disrupt my child’s life and my career for this whim. The job will involve stints of him being away on tours. I am not averse to moving for a positive financial situation and lifestyle change but to me this is madness. Fine if single, not compatible with being a responsible parent.

I think he is really fundamentally depressed, this depression will not magically disappear once the novelty has worn off

am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
loropianalover · 30/04/2025 13:28

What’s his proof/plan for being a successful holiday tour leader? What sort of tours are these? Are they seasonal? Will he be self employed or working for an agency of some sort? If self employed, how does he plan to get bookings when there will already be plenty of other established tour guides with hundreds of positive reviews? Does he have local knowledge of the area? Will he have to work every weekend? Is it an area where you can also be gainfully employed and where your child can be well educated? Will you have to pay for an international school? Will you have to learn a new language? Where will you live - will you be able to afford rent, or to buy? Will you have to buy cars? He is deeply unhappy ‘as a parent’ - why does he think that will that change by moving away and starting over? That will be stressful on a child and you as a couple.

Unless you’ve got millions in the bank I would not be uprooting my life to go with him, and if he went I’d see it as the end of the relationship.

Motnight · 30/04/2025 13:26

What does he do currently work wise? Has he experience of being a holiday tour leader?

I wouldn't be following my DH overseas in the circumstances that you are in, Op.