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AIBU?

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Original poster

Are antidepressants warranted in this scenario?

86 replies

Feelinglow1 · 30/04/2025 13:01

I've suffered first with primary infertility for years, then we had our wonderful DS. Tried for a second, first I was very chilled about it but as the years have gone on I've become increasingly desperate/ depressed about it. I'm immensely grateful for the one we have but I'm at the point where if anyone just announces a pregnancy I'm breaking down in tears. I tried therapy, sports, being busy, the works- I feel down and guilty and somehow less than, and I just cannot help it. Add to this I'm so anxious about my one precious child and if he gets as much as a fever I'm panicking. Im generally very anxious but this whole thing has made it so much worse. I sometimes get heart palpitations and stomach upset from the worrying. AIBU to get antidepressants for this?

OP posts:
Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 14:24

Happyspendingthedayinthegarden · 30/04/2025 14:08

Just one piece of advice. I didn't realise until DH mentioned it (his late wife had this problem) some ADs can affect your ability to orgasm (Citalopram for example). Although it's quite normal to feel sleepy, woozy/dizzy, sicky when you first start taking them, this is a sign that they are working, if the symptoms persist after about 4-6 weeks don't be afraid to go back to your doctor & they will change it.

I read this as a rare, but possible side effect.

BrentfordForever · 30/04/2025 14:22

Of course you should take ADs they can be life changing for you and relationships with others

but… I think there are studies that they increase prolactin and hence ovulation so perhaps monitor via blood tests if you’d like to try again to conceive

Sajacas · 30/04/2025 14:18

Hey there, before going down the medication route please take a look at Georgia Ede, she is a US based psychiatrist who talks about the link between diet, the body's ability to produce hormones, and mental health. The talk linked below is less than an hour, informative and actually amusing in places.

Key words if you don't trust links, Geogia Ede, PHC, 2023, What is nutritional and metabolic psychiatry?

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/23_fnung5To?si=GXUJPgWDJjuhrPJf

Happyspendingthedayinthegarden · 30/04/2025 14:08

Just one piece of advice. I didn't realise until DH mentioned it (his late wife had this problem) some ADs can affect your ability to orgasm (Citalopram for example). Although it's quite normal to feel sleepy, woozy/dizzy, sicky when you first start taking them, this is a sign that they are working, if the symptoms persist after about 4-6 weeks don't be afraid to go back to your doctor & they will change it.

Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 13:53

I was really reluctant to take medication too - I spent two years avoiding it. I’m on a very low dose - 5mg Escitalopram and it’s made a huge difference.

The lifestyle changes also helped enormously and I do think it was useless to make changes slowly so I could get a feel for what was really helping and maintain it.

Happyspendingthedayinthegarden · 30/04/2025 13:25

I'm very reluctant to take medication but I think it might be time

If you have a headache you take a paracetamol, if you have a chest infection, you take anti-biotics. ADs no different to any other meds. This isn't the 1960's when Valium was handed out as a cure-all to anyone. GPs don't prescribe ADs these days without other advice such as referral to counselling, recommending exercise & other things that may help.

SummerHouse · 30/04/2025 13:16

100% get an appointment with you GP. These are absolutely not trivial feelings you should just get on with. Hope you get the help you need and a brilliant, supportive GP.

You are not "less than" - you are worthy.

Original poster
Feelinglow1 · 30/04/2025 13:16

Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 13:15

Are you having therapy OP? I would start there and talk through the idea of antidepressants with your therapist. I made all the lifestyle changes and worked on things myself and then, did eventually succumb and started a low dose of antidepressants. But I have a much better understanding of my illness having done that. Obviously if your therapist feels you’d benefit from the off then do that.

Hi there thanks for your reply! I've done therapy a lot and with different therapists and it hasn't really helped unfortunately. I'm very reluctant to take medication but I think it might be time

OP posts:
Espresso25 · 30/04/2025 13:15

Are you having therapy OP? I would start there and talk through the idea of antidepressants with your therapist. I made all the lifestyle changes and worked on things myself and then, did eventually succumb and started a low dose of antidepressants. But I have a much better understanding of my illness having done that. Obviously if your therapist feels you’d benefit from the off then do that.

LifeWithAnxiety · 30/04/2025 13:13

So sorry you are dealing with this op.
I was so desperate for a second (ivf baby) I couldn’t even see baby clothes in a shop without crying, and sobbed for hours when someone’s dog got pregnant!

I do think AD could help, they certainly helped me. Have yo had blood tests? Low iron and thyroid issues (amongst other things) can cause depression, anxiety, palpitations, tearfulness and other issues. Have a chat to the GP.
Wishing you well Flowers

Happyspendingthedayinthegarden · 30/04/2025 13:10

I'd say no YANBU. Do it - make an appointment today.

I suffered 8 miscarriages-2 at over 20 weeks & never expected to be able to carry a baby to full term. Eventually, by some miracle, I had my son who was born by elective CS due to injuries that I'd sustained in a serious car accident many years before, I'm only 5' tall & he was a very big baby (9lbs 13oz). I became very anxious & for a long time was overprotective of my DS. It didn't help that my DH died while I was PG so I was a single mum.

GP put me on anti-depressants & it really helped -that and an excellent Health Visitor.