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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are antidepressants warranted in this scenario?

86 replies

Feelinglow1 · 30/04/2025 13:01

I've suffered first with primary infertility for years, then we had our wonderful DS. Tried for a second, first I was very chilled about it but as the years have gone on I've become increasingly desperate/ depressed about it. I'm immensely grateful for the one we have but I'm at the point where if anyone just announces a pregnancy I'm breaking down in tears. I tried therapy, sports, being busy, the works- I feel down and guilty and somehow less than, and I just cannot help it. Add to this I'm so anxious about my one precious child and if he gets as much as a fever I'm panicking. Im generally very anxious but this whole thing has made it so much worse. I sometimes get heart palpitations and stomach upset from the worrying. AIBU to get antidepressants for this?

OP posts:
whippy1981 · 03/05/2025 10:21

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 10:14

It’s not for “no reason” it’s to treat a medical condition.

It isn't a medical condition. There is nothing medical about anxiety. If there was we would have the pathology there to prove it is medical.

Even those who created the diagnosis have said there is nothing medical about it! They have specifically said in their words "There are no biological markers". Mental health is created out of stigma that is all.

whippy1981 · 03/05/2025 10:19

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 10:12

You know that we don’t know the mechanism by which they help - but that their efficacy has been established nonetheless. They aren’t sedative either. That’s your own assertion.

But what are they actually helping as there is no proof anxiety exists in the brain so why use something when there is no proof of it so what would it be acting on if nothing is there to act on? Then it would have to impact on something else. Which they do.

Nope that isn't my own assertion, that is the assertion of scientists who have studied this.

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 10:14

whippy1981 · 03/05/2025 10:12

If people want to dope themselves up for no reason crack on! Same as using a recreational drug in effect.

It’s not for “no reason” it’s to treat a medical condition.

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 10:12

whippy1981 · 03/05/2025 10:10

Effective in doping certainly but given anxiety isn't proven to exist in the brain what is it doing in there as it can't be treating something that isn't there?

You know that we don’t know the mechanism by which they help - but that their efficacy has been established nonetheless. They aren’t sedative either. That’s your own assertion.

whippy1981 · 03/05/2025 10:12

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 10:05

So for some people it might involved AD’s

If people want to dope themselves up for no reason crack on! Same as using a recreational drug in effect.

whippy1981 · 03/05/2025 10:10

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 10:07

Because we’ve established it’s not about serotonin doesn’t negate the fact they are effective for many people.

Effective in doping certainly but given anxiety isn't proven to exist in the brain what is it doing in there as it can't be treating something that isn't there?

whippy1981 · 03/05/2025 10:09

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 09:24

Also - what if the root cause is genetic or something like ADHD. My family has a history of anxiety, that’s an element: I can’t rewire my brain to absolve that.

Im happy for you that you’ve managed your MH issues in the best way for you - but don’t assume you speak on behalf of everyone and understand their struggles too.

I don't speak on the behalf of everyone. I very clearly said it depends on your situation as to how you deal with it. Why not read what I wrote before making statements that are untrue.

You can believe in the genetic but I do not. You are perfectly within your rights to believe in the genetic model or the medical model of mental health - which do you think you believe in? I believe in the trauma informed model. There are many models to mental health. None of the pathology ones have been proven to exist yet. However we do know the history of mental health as a field and how it grew around oppression and stigma. Not a single gene has been proven to linked to any mental health issues. It makes sense that families living together experiencing the same trauma will all have responses to that trauma.

I also feel the genetic model is deficit based too not strength based and given that people do recover then it surely cannot be the gene issue.

Do you get genetic testing when you get tested for ADHD? What medical tests occur? None! Interestingly ADHD is a label given quite often to those who have suffered trauma. I had one child who was abused and then it was suspected she was being abused again in her new home when the child was offered support for her trauma the new family said no. They refused and said her behaviour was nothing to do with the horrors she had been subjected to. The family pushed for an ADHD label and to this day that child says she is being abused and is not ADHD.

Also if it is genetic how come bipolar diagnosis have dropped 90% and ADHD up 80%? Would that be saying that they were wrong before and drugged people for no reason if they didn't have bipolar? We haven't suddenly found a cure for bipolar have we? So why the sudden drop?

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 10:07

whippy1981 · 03/05/2025 09:38

How do they help something that isn't there? It cannot!

Because we’ve established it’s not about serotonin doesn’t negate the fact they are effective for many people.

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 10:05

whippy1981 · 03/05/2025 09:39

Which is exactly what I said!

So for some people it might involved AD’s

whippy1981 · 03/05/2025 09:39

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 09:22

Healing looks different for different people - you’re thrown out a trauma and used it to speak with authority about MH issues. I’m the victim of both CSA and rape and my recovery looked different. Symptoms that were previously well managed can re-emerge, recovery isn’t linear. Now I have children my previous coping mechanisms aren’t as readily available - I can’t just run a half marathon to get rid of my anxious energy - that’s just one example of a previous “treatment” I can’t do and not an exhaustive list.

Which is exactly what I said!

whippy1981 · 03/05/2025 09:38

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 09:17

Its acknowledged that we don’t know why anti depressants are helpful and that the previous theory that it was because serotonin was imbalanced has been debunked, but that isn’t the same as discovering that anti depressants aren’t effective - they are - we just don’t understand why.

How do they help something that isn't there? It cannot!

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 09:24

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 17:43

Deal with the root cause. Whatever is causing them trauma. Find out what is hurting them not avoid it and pretend it is the brain that is the problem when it is something external that is the problem.

Also - what if the root cause is genetic or something like ADHD. My family has a history of anxiety, that’s an element: I can’t rewire my brain to absolve that.

Im happy for you that you’ve managed your MH issues in the best way for you - but don’t assume you speak on behalf of everyone and understand their struggles too.

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 09:22

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 18:26

Depends on the situation as to how to deal with it. So for example when I was raped I focused my anger in helping changing the law and working with MPs to improve the justice system when it failed for me. That made my anger purposeful and made changes happen. I also worked on understanding my body and learning about trauma and that it was normal and how my body would process and re-process things. I learnt to understand when I would re-process things more (specific dates) and when I would need to give myself more time. I also learnt that people will push you to 'move on' and 'overcome' trauma and when you struggle that this in itself can cause harm so accepting the impact it will have and learning what works when you have a bad day. Learning that your body is responding normally is a game changer and that there isn't anything in your body that needs fixing.

Healing looks different for different people - you’re thrown out a trauma and used it to speak with authority about MH issues. I’m the victim of both CSA and rape and my recovery looked different. Symptoms that were previously well managed can re-emerge, recovery isn’t linear. Now I have children my previous coping mechanisms aren’t as readily available - I can’t just run a half marathon to get rid of my anxious energy - that’s just one example of a previous “treatment” I can’t do and not an exhaustive list.

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Its acknowledged that we don’t know why anti depressants are helpful and that the previous theory that it was because serotonin was imbalanced has been debunked, but that isn’t the same as discovering that anti depressants aren’t effective - they are - we just don’t understand why.

Espresso25 · 03/05/2025 09:14

@whippy1981

”Just to be clear anti depressants are as much for treating anxiety”

Dr Martin Bruner - book “Your worry makes sense”

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BrentfordForever · 02/05/2025 23:20

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 23:07

If it was about neurotransmitters they would test that to diagnose surely but they do not. No tests are done as none exist. The creators of the diagnostic manual admit there is nothing biological behind these diagnosis. So are they liars?

What are your DS serotonin levels? How do they measure those in the brain? How often are they measured and what units are they measured in?

PS - the chemical imbalance theory was debunked many decades ago.

Also serotonin in the brain? Are you sure it isn't your DS gut that is the issue if it is serotonin?

Edited

Maybe it is the gut that’s the issue, maybe it’s an infection messing with immune who knows

the point is he has no childhood trauma and he lives in a very loving home

yes he has had lots of tests including DNA test that show hypo functioning neurotransmitters (not just serotonin) … when he takes specific medication he’s calmer, happier more focused than anyone

so yes it is a chemical issue 😎

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 23:07

BrentfordForever · 02/05/2025 22:54

No, sadly there is not “always” trauma behind this

sometimes neurotransmitters in the brain are just messed up (DS is like this high anxiety due to low serotonin)

these are the cases that therapy does very very little, meds is the way forward

Edited

If it was about neurotransmitters they would test that to diagnose surely but they do not. No tests are done as none exist. The creators of the diagnostic manual admit there is nothing biological behind these diagnosis. So are they liars?

What are your DS serotonin levels? How do they measure those in the brain? How often are they measured and what units are they measured in?

PS - the chemical imbalance theory was debunked many decades ago.

Also serotonin in the brain? Are you sure it isn't your DS gut that is the issue if it is serotonin?

BrentfordForever · 02/05/2025 22:54

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 17:43

Deal with the root cause. Whatever is causing them trauma. Find out what is hurting them not avoid it and pretend it is the brain that is the problem when it is something external that is the problem.

No, sadly there is not “always” trauma behind this

sometimes neurotransmitters in the brain are just messed up (DS is like this high anxiety due to low serotonin)

these are the cases that therapy does very very little, meds is the way forward

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 20:21

OhLucinda · 02/05/2025 19:39

No, it isn’t.
Sorry, but you haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about.

Yes it is. All of it does! Dr Spitzer admitted as such. Or kindly explain the medical testing that you have when you get diagnosed with being abnormal which goes against the person who created the label?

Why did so many people get this in lockdown? Odd eh their brains suddenly all went wrong at the same time? Or was it something they experienced?

OhLucinda · 02/05/2025 19:39

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 19:25

All mental health has a root in trauma. It is not abnormal sorry if you think it is.

No, it isn’t.
Sorry, but you haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about.

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 19:25

OhLucinda · 02/05/2025 18:30

That is all very, very different than having an anxiety disorder.

All mental health has a root in trauma. It is not abnormal sorry if you think it is.

OhLucinda · 02/05/2025 18:30

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 18:26

Depends on the situation as to how to deal with it. So for example when I was raped I focused my anger in helping changing the law and working with MPs to improve the justice system when it failed for me. That made my anger purposeful and made changes happen. I also worked on understanding my body and learning about trauma and that it was normal and how my body would process and re-process things. I learnt to understand when I would re-process things more (specific dates) and when I would need to give myself more time. I also learnt that people will push you to 'move on' and 'overcome' trauma and when you struggle that this in itself can cause harm so accepting the impact it will have and learning what works when you have a bad day. Learning that your body is responding normally is a game changer and that there isn't anything in your body that needs fixing.

That is all very, very different than having an anxiety disorder.

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 18:26

OhLucinda · 02/05/2025 17:45

Deal with it how though?

Depends on the situation as to how to deal with it. So for example when I was raped I focused my anger in helping changing the law and working with MPs to improve the justice system when it failed for me. That made my anger purposeful and made changes happen. I also worked on understanding my body and learning about trauma and that it was normal and how my body would process and re-process things. I learnt to understand when I would re-process things more (specific dates) and when I would need to give myself more time. I also learnt that people will push you to 'move on' and 'overcome' trauma and when you struggle that this in itself can cause harm so accepting the impact it will have and learning what works when you have a bad day. Learning that your body is responding normally is a game changer and that there isn't anything in your body that needs fixing.

OhLucinda · 02/05/2025 17:45

whippy1981 · 02/05/2025 17:43

Deal with the root cause. Whatever is causing them trauma. Find out what is hurting them not avoid it and pretend it is the brain that is the problem when it is something external that is the problem.

Deal with it how though?