To think money given to your child should be saved for them?

Agree it depends on circumstances - and the amount of money we are talking about. But I’ve always seen the £20 in the card as a “please buy a gift you would like as I don’t know exactly what that would be” and so, if we are out and about and they see something they would like that I wouldn’t buy in the ordinary run of things, I would say “you could buy that with your birthday money from Auntie Sue”. (And then it’s nice for Auntie Sue to know what’s been bought with her money.) Different if it’s ££££, of course.

Whilst I do put money given to my child in his savings account as we are luckily able to afford days out, of circumstances we’re different I see no problem with saying “Auntie Mary kindly bought us this trip to the zoo”.

Depends on the amount/ purpose. Both our children have ISAs and we pay into them plus godparents and grandparents have contributed to them. So bigger sums would go into them.

The odd 5 pounds or 10 pounds in a birthday card I'd let them spend (or I'd spend for baby DD) and make sure the thank you card included what they'd bought.

Very good to save for them but mine got pocket money from being quite little (£1 a week at first) - usually put in money boxes most weeks, so they could buy little knick knacks when we were out and about. Then I'd give them another say £10 when we went on holiday- so they had enough to buy bits from gift shops.

I think it also depends on the intention of the gift giver to some extent. Many relatives will give money as a gift, expecting and wanting that to be spent on something nice for the child to enjoy now, not in X number of years time; others will be perfectly pleased if you tell them you’re going to save it. It probably matters less with very young children who don’t need or want a lot right now, but when I gift my 11-year-old goddaughter birthday money, I’d rather she then have a say in wanting to spend that on e.g. pony camp this summer, or the new pair of luxury fashion trainers she really wants but which the family budget couldn’t justify.

I don't see a trip to the zoo as a bad thing. They are making memories. Yeah money will be useful but life is for doing enjoyable things too.

We used some to buy play equipment (climbing frame, trampoline etc) and some for membership to Eureka, that kind of stuff.

Outside of large purchases, a fiver in a card would mean a board book. Larger amounts went to savings.

We had our own monthly savings accounts in each child’s name.

I think it depends.

At the moment, if I put money in my kid's credit union, by the time DIRT and fees are taken out, they've got basically nothing back in interest. They would much prefer to spend some of it now on things they enjoy, rather than see the money lose value to inflation.

I have also, in the past, borrowed some of their money to pay a bill on a particularly short month. The money is there, it's stupid to cost the family more in fees/interest for some self-imposed rule about not spending it. As long as I put it back later of course.

Like you, I save it. But I know I am in a privileged position to be able to do that. Surely it is better that that money is spend on experiences and a decent childhood than blown on alcohol or unneeded clothes like most teens would do at 18?

Your children are very young op and life will change in different ways as they get older. we’ve had the ups and downs you get and so instead of them always saving or going on a spree we have had them contribute to eg to going to the cinema, we’ve had then use money they had as spending money on holiday, and yes we’ve sometimes had to get loans from them (tiny ones, think less than fifty quid), that we paid back within days.

In terms of savings we saved for them and then had to pay for schoolbooks and stationary and flasks and uniforms etc etc etc (they’ll never know that money existed)

They might not have a large pot of money, but they know about being savvy, saving, prioritising, and that sometimes money is needed to have fun(so not all serious stuff!).

It depends on your circumstances and the amount.

If you have a child that has everything they need and some of what they want as routine life, save it.

If you can't cover what they need, spend it on necessities.

If you have covered what they need but they get very few or no wants/treats. Then take them to soft play for the first time and buy the slush puppy. If there is some left over as it was a big gift, save it

It depends if they're given it with the expectation it's saved or because the giver doesn't know what to buy so is asking you to fill that role. We also sometimes asked for money towards something such as zoo membership.

My girls are older and if they receive cash they can choose what to spend it on.

We're saving ourselves for their future as are their grandparents.

My friend opened an account for her ds as a lone dm. Every birthday, Christmas and pocket money. She lived a tough life.. She remarried and her dh wasn't a loving sf...
At 18 her ds received 8k from his account.. Wasted it in 10 months. Nothing to show for it at all.
Bet she wished she had used it for supporting her ds in other ways when he was a dc..

Mine are teens now..so have their own bank & savings account, so I have little control over what they do with their money.

I’ve try to get them to save 70% and spend the 30%

One of them is fantastic with money and has a lovely savings pot the other is very spendy…and has no savings left (I am desperately trying to change this rapidly as they seem to have no concept of it all)

When they were little birthday/Christmas money was split 70% into an isa and 30% for spending.

They do not have access to their ISA’s I don’t even know if they know they have them, as they were set up by my dad.

I don’t judge what other people do, entirely their own choice to do whatever and everyone has a different opinion and approach to what works for them.

Surely it depends? Most of the money I get for DC is from elderly relatives who find sending money easier than buying a birthday present. But the expectation (although not explicitly stated) is for us to buy a present and say “this is from great grandma”.

Birthday and Christmas money I use it to buy specific things that she'd like but we wouldn't necessarily buy her ourselves and treat as buy her a present with this money. The rest goes into savings.
We have had money come through from family post bereavements and this money goes straight into her savings account

Money gifted to my kids goes in my purse for when we need cash 😂 Most often gets spent on my DH's haircuts! Anything that's put directly into our bank accounts stays there.

But they're not missing out. We save from our salaries every month and no doubt a lot of that will go to them when they're older.

I just don't see the need to differentiate their money from ours when they're so small.

It depends on the purpose of the money. Usually relatives have given me money because they don’t know what the child wants. I have on a couple of occasions bought quite expensive things like a karaoke machine just to be able to then send a picture of dc using it to the giver to explain what we did with the money. And I’d be able to say ‘look what grandad bought you’ or ‘ the dolls house from grandma’ so that the relative is more visible to the children.

Now my children are teens, money is given to them directly and they put into t in their bank accounts.

When money was v tight when DC were smaller we often used it for a zoo pass/days out and would say- thanks for x we’ve used it to do y- send pics etc. Now they’re a bit older and money is less tight we let them spend some on what they want (and tell the relative what they bought when we say thank you) and save the rest.

AIBU to think they only thing you should do with it is save it for the child?

No, it’s not a black and white thing. Not all money is given with the intent of it being saved for 18/20 years. Some people are happy to give money for the parents to spend it on something fitting for the child.

Grandparents and aunts/uncles gave the children money when they were younger so they could go to the zoo or the ice rink etc.

Now they are older its towards Scout camps etc as they know how much they love them but it can add up!

I do both, l try & do half savings & half on something they want/a day out.
As they get older they want more expensive things so I’m teaching them about budgeting, saving & living within means all in one.

A few years ago I bought a trampoline with their birthday money & they use it every day, in all weathers so well worth it.

I’ve said the savings are for driving lessons/uni/houses when they’re older.

Are we talking stuff like birthday money? We’re lucky enough financially to pay for all the trips/treats out of pocket so I do normally chuck it in his savings, but honestly if we weren’t, I would happily use gifted money towards a treat or two DS wouldn’t get without. Even still, if he’s given a small amount of cash it goes in his wallet and we use it for those little ride-ons in services/supermarkets - he’s obsessed and it makes for great ‘thank you’ photos to send around to friends explaining they’re the reason he got to ride with Peppa Pig today 😂

This is what we do too. ‘Thanks for our new coats, Granny!’ etc! We already save monthly for them, and both sets of GPs put small amounts in to their savings accounts so money given at birthdays and Christmas is spent on them as they wish.

I see nothing wrong with using the money on treats for the child.
Actually it can be quite nice for the relative here is a photo of us at the zoo with the money you sent, thank you
(Or essentials if funds are very tight).