To think money given to your child should be saved for them?

It's entirely up to the parents and the child when they are old enough.

If someone gives me money for SD15, I transfer it straight into her bank account. She's very sensible with money. If she was the type to blow it instantly on rubbish then I might put it in a savings account for when she's older.

If someone gives me money for DD5, I might put it in her savings account, I might give her the money and let her spend it, or I might put it towards something she wants or a day out. DD is not at all sensible with money and wants to spend it on the very first thing she sees- memorably we once had an argument about her spending her money on a set of napkin rings, even though she didn't know what they were.

It's my job to decide what's in the best interests of my child.

YABU because there is no right & wrong, there isn’t one way it “should” be done.

As long as the money is being spent on the child or on something for them then it makes no difference.

I consider us to be fortunate in that we can afford to buy clothes, toys etc and also afford to do days out to the zoo, cinema, theme parks, farm etc. If we weren’t in this position though I would absolutely feel no guilt whatsoever about spending the £20 they got from Uncle X for their birthday towards a trip out. Yes, kids need money when they get older, but they only get ONE childhood. I wouldn’t blame any parent for not wanting to spend that childhood stuck in the house saving the birthday £20’s for the car they may or may not want in 18 years rather than making memories right now.

Eg £3,000 over 15 years works out at £200 per year (and that’s without counting interest earned). So £100 each birthday and Christmas from various family members - maybe an average gift of £25 per relative depending on the numbers of givers. We’re not talking gifts of thousands, far from it!

This is not the amount my kids have, just an example but the point is that saving even small amounts makes a big difference over time.

Each to their own, but I'm with you OP. My DD is 3.5 now and any money given for Christmas, Birthday, Easter is put into her children's saver account I've opened up for her. I receive her child benefit as well and that goes into her savings account as well.

I think they amount they get makes a huge difference.
If my (adult) DC had saved every penny they were ever given as children, they would probably have about £200. Instead a lot of this was used to give them "nice things".

If they are being given thousands of pounds, it's evidently an entirely different question.

Spending it on a day out is entirely fine. You only get one childhood, and money earmarked for nice things like that can make a huge difference to low income families.

My friends father knew her mum would waste it so he had it kept in trust when he passed away he wanted to make sure she got it and not her mum

It depends. If the person giving the money says 'to put towards child's savings' or similar, then yes, I'd put it in the savings account my child has.

Birthday money from relatives in cards etc, we chose toys/clothes/furniture when ours was too young to to understand.

Now he's a little older, he gets to choose and spend his birthday money.

Grandparents have the savings account details so just out money in themselves, plus presents for our son to open. My parents put money in monthly to his savings, my MIL puts a lump sum in annually.

People didn't really give money when they were tiny, they gave gifts. Now the kids are school age, any birthday or Christmas money is given directly to them to spend how they want. We are talking 10 or 20 pounds though, not blowing grand on pokemon cards.

But in the theoretical scenario, as long as the money is spent on the children, I don't see any issue with it not being saved.

So if someone sent me a tenner or twenty and it was a birthday they would often say it was for a specific gift or to buy something and let them know what it was. So I'd obvs not save it.

DCs paternal grandmother would be very generous and also gave money for DC to save so with generous birthday money, I would buy gifts and bank some for DC to save as well as saving the save money. DC got regular pocket money and occasional cheque to save from my parents. DC elected to save their pocket money.

It's basically just common sense figuring out what people want you to do with the money

I also think it depends both on the giver's intentions and family circumstances.

If the giver has clearly intended the money to be used to buy a present or for DC to choose a treat, then I think it's a bit off for a parent to decide to save it until DC is 18.

Equally, if a small DC who has plenty of toys, experiences, etc. is given £50 with no clear indication from the giver, I'd probably spend a bit of it and save a bit – 'Thank you so much, Auntie May, DC got X and Y, and then we popped the rest in their savings.' Small DC in a family for whom money is tight? Absolutely spend it – that £50 could be a couple new toys, a trip to softplay, a family swim session, and a few days where you can treat them to that ice cream at the park.

If you genuinely can't manage the essentials, I think it's absolutely fair enough to spend gifts on those essentials for your child, although I'd try to use a little for a treat for them if at all possible, even if it's a wee toy from the charity shop or a pack of cheap ice lollies.

Meh, I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here TBH. It's nice to save it but equally perhaps money is tight and it goes towards giving the child some nice experiences when they are young. As a parent we get to decide what is best for our children in all kinds of ways and I think this is no different.

Why are you being so judgemental. What's wrong with using it to take a child on an enjoyable day out. Also depends on people's financial situation.

Definitely at baby/toddler/infant school age it should be saved for them. We always did that. As they got older, they were allowed a little to spend from these gifts and the rest went in their savings. They’re now mid-late teens and have several thousand each saved from 15+ years of birthday and Christmas money. Much better than frittering it away a couple of times a year.

There isn't any right or wrong answer. We've received money for our sons birthday and we'll use it for things like buying clothes or anything else he needs. When I was younger, myself and my siblings received money from our Grandmother when she died and our parents used this to pay for a family holiday to Florida which I'm glad they did as I have great memories of the holiday.

We don't have a savings account for our son. It didn't even occur to me that this was a thing. It wasn't something me or my husband had and we'll maybe set up one in the future.

It depends - when they were little I brought next size up clothes, shoes, coats whatever they needed. Now they're a bit older they get to pick a new toy or books with some of the money and we save the rest though sometimes I use it pay for the window cleaner because it's the only cash in the house. Oops.

We save for both of them and they'll both have a sizeable chunk when they're 18.

You come across as hypercritical and judgemental of other peoples choices in this situation. Either decision fine, however planning for experiences is also valuable is it not? I wonder whether you are in a privelaged position where you can cover this whereby other parents can't do this as easily and so when they get money for there kids, they spend it on having an experience with them or buying them something that they wouldn't normally be able to get?

I definitely would not put it towards something like a zoo trip or whatever, because if you were taking your child out you wouldn’t expect them to pay for their own ticket, so why should the money be used for that?
Otherwise, I think it depends how much money and how old the child is. Under 5? It should go into a savings account.
Over 5? A quick age-appropriate conversation first. If it’s a small amount it’s reasonable to expect the child will want to spend the money, and I think this is fine. It’s how they learn what money and spending are, and the value of things. A larger amount, talk to them about the benefit of saving, but still expect they may want to spend some and save some.

Granny sending £100 birthday money can either be put away or spent on something the child will enjoy there and then. If parents can’t afford to give their child things like zoo trips, day at the seaside, an afternoon playing crazy golf etc, then when that child is 18 give them the £100, but they have had a pretty miserable upbringing then that’s poor decision making.

We save for both of ours. I think they get £70 a month each between the 2 of us and have since they were babies. They will have plenty of savings when they are older to blow on beer and houseplants for their first flat. We’ll also be in a position to help them financially in their 20s, to buy their first place, etc.

When they get £20 from great grandad once a year, we let them spend it. Within reason. To buy something they really want. And then we can let great grandad know how much they are enjoying it.

When they were babies, no, I wouldn’t have just spent money on like a day out for all of us. Though we did put £200 worth of first birthday money towards an ERF car seat for dd. It seemed like a really sensible use of money. She was 1 and didn’t know the value of £200. But we didn’t have much money and having a safe car seat that would keep her alive to enjoy her sizeable savings one day seemed like a really smart thing to do. That seat lasted us 10 years and 2 children to age 5. I have no regrets.

That's great for you, you are in a position to do this. When mine where little I spent it on outside play equipment and a trip to the seaside otherwise they would have gone without . I'm sure your kids get this stuff from you, now imagine you are in a position that you carnt provide this but could if you spent the birthday money.. but judge away, you have only been a parent for 2 minutes.

I think in part it depends on why it was given. Here is £20 to buy him something for his birthday then the expectation is to spend it on a gift and anything left over would go into their bank account.

If it's money given for birthdays/Christmas, I would take it to be in lieu of a present and spend it on something for the child. And then tell the giver what the money had been spent on.

(I'd say the exception was if your child got a large amount of monetary gifts and buying "stuff" for them with all of it would be ridiculous. Which based on the amount of savings lots of MN children seem to have, I'm assuming is not as unusual as I thought it was).

Personally I save it all but that's because I have the means to buy them whatever they want. If a family is struggling and say for example the child's grandparent gives them money to go somewhere, I think it's perfectly acceptable to use it for that reason.