To think money given to your child should be saved for them?

This isn’t what you said in your OP, which was Then I've hear mums in groups saying they will put it towards something for the child or towards the zoo tickets etc. Which is absolutely spending it on treats and nice things for the children’s benefit rather than taking the money as their own. You’re getting responses which reflect what you wrote, even if you meant something different.

We do a balance so most gets saved but sometimes we’ll use it to buy a particular toy/item if there’s something they need or that’s becoming age appropriate & they will enjoy. We always share this with whoever gave the cash. I know most people we know do similar & can’t believe you’d be so judgmental about this. Surely the only people who should care how it’s used are the ones who gave the cash

My mum and dad used my brothers and my money from our gran to pay the mortgage rather than stop smoking. That £1,000 would have come in useful many times.

Yeah I am absolutely fine for the ISA limit! 2 kids in nursery makes sure of that 😂

Even if I wasn’t though I think it’s an acceptable trade off against the possibility of what I saw as a house deposit being used to fund holidays and nights out. I’d rather pay the tax on the interest for that surety.

You are in a very privileged position. I know parents would use the money from a well off aunt for example to pay the electric bill never mind a trip to the zoo.

I have Grandchildren, sometimes I give money and say do what you like with it (such as day out or towards a big toy). If I want it saving I do that myself by putting it on premium bonds.

We might do both. My gran specifically says to buy something for the DC with it or take them for a day out, so that’s what I do. They are in the lucky position that they will have a good chunk of money for a house deposit etc when they need it already, so sometimes we will use birthday money for a family trip out for the occasion or DD1(6) recently had £70 to spend at the toy shop, which she absolutely loved.

As long as it’s going towards that child, whether now or in 15 years of time, that’s fine IMO.

FWIW we did a bit of both. We would sometimes save the money given to dc and save to buy swings or a Wendy house, sometimes it was their spending money on holiday and sometimes they took it to the toy shop. We saved too and managed to raise responsible, polite and kind adults.

They had years of fun in that Wendy house btw.

It’s not fair to judge others based on your own experience.

Maybe you had shit parents but it doesn’t mean that everyone that buys toys, books, clothes or days out aren’t doing what they feel is best for their children.

You sound very naive.

Depends on many factors. I don't think you can make a blanket decision for every family about this. You do you and others do what they do to suit them.

I think it depends on your circumstances.

If you can afford to get your child presents and take them on days out without using the money, then save it.

If you can't afford these things otherwise, then spend it on things that will bring your children happiness today.

Whilst middle class me (who got to do Brownies and music lessons and go on days out and holidays) might have appreciated a few hundred pounds in my bank account at the age of 18 more than extra toys and days out as a child, I think an 18 year old who comes from a deprived background but is now capable of earning their own money might prefer to have more childhood memories of fun birthdays.

As you've said your children are very young so yes, I always saved their money when they were younger. Now they get it directly and decide how to spend it themselves. In that in between stage I encouraged then to save it but also they may have wanted the latest trainers so could say Aunty Sue thank you for my birthday money, I spent it on Nike Air maxes.

I have a friend who used to nick the lot and add it to the family coffers.

£200 a year is a lot more money than a lot of children see (mine included).

Hence my point about it depends how much money you get. If you're getting given £10 from a grandparent in lieu of a birthday present, then it's a different decision to if you're getting £200 in total.

Saving for the kids in your name is fine but only if you have enough ISA allowance otherwise you pay tax on the investments. Hence the premium bonds (our ISA allowance is maxed out)

We mostly used birthday money to buy a present for the child as a small child isn't really interested in money. Or we'd use it for a day out. I think the givers appreciated hearing how the child had enjoyed the money.

Entirely dependent on the family

• we save per month for both children - that is very much their University fees / house deposit fund. We educate them about the value of money so they don't waste it at 18

• some family buy premium bonds for the kids for savings for Birthdays and Christmas. They also buy a new book or chocolate for something to open.

• the kids both get pocket money (and have since reception) and already talk about saving for larger items and / or holiday spends and / or saving for extra stuff for their activities.

I think either is ok, not everyone can afford to go to the zoo etc. We used to save all of it but now they all have bank cards it gets split between savings and a bit for spending.
I know someone who has used all their childrens savings on things like fixing the car, petrol, food because they are piss poor with money that's not ok.

I don't see what's wrong with taking them to the zoo or buying them a gift and telling them who it's from. Any large sums I've earmarked, but all the small things I've just used to buy gifts amd things for them, and I'll send a thank you card to say what itt was spent on. I've also written this down in a book so I remember who gave what. At the end of the day that just amounts to a few thousand so I don't think it's such a big deal that it needs to be saved immediately. I understand everyone's circumstances are different though.

I did exactly the same. So did almost every other teenager I knew.

We spend the money or it goes in a money box here and we take stuff out for spends when the kids need it. That’s generally what the giver has intended.

I do save for the kids but it stays in my name. I want to keep control of how the money I have worked for is used to benefit my children. It’s not infinite, it can only be spent once.

They can get a part time job and save their own money if they want a gap year. I want the money I have saved for them to go on something more practical.

If a communion party was an expected rite of passage in your family and community, and you would have felt left out if your cousins and friends had one but you didn’t, then I think it did benefit you. Unless there’s a backstory that your parents put their own wants first generally and were very wealthy, it seems like an acceptable use of money gifted by relatives who may have wanted it spent that way.

To some extent it’s just frontloading or backloading whether it’s spent on something nice now or something sensible later: if parents are saving up money given by others for e.g. driving lessons or university or a deposit on their first rental when they move out, then ultimately it means that in the future that money is going to mean the parents themselves will need to contribute less to those things - so technically the saved money has still benefitted the parents’ finances, just at a later date.

My Dbro and Dsil live on the bones of their arse financially. With money given to them by family they buy their 2 DC an annual pass to a theme park that gives their severely autistic son much joy throughout the year. Who do you think you are to judge their choice? Good for you that you have money, others don't.

I think you sound extremely judgemental about something that has absolutely nothing to do with you. How others choose to spend money given to their DC is entirely up to them. You sound smug and not pleasant.