DH has a new gf because I’m not ambitious enough

He wants to show off to the gf. It won't be anything to do with DD sadly.

Also remember that there are some pretty good jobs you can do from home since you're good at admin and therefore organised, efficient, intelligent, and competent. For example, try the Passport Office; set up a Linkedin for their reference and include your experience in your own business.
Definitely see a lawyer; and if he is staying in your house 60% of the time, and buggering off to be with some girl 40% of the time, address that issue too with the lawyer.

Best of luck. x

I would bet good money that once you have found your way through this you will be so glad he's gone. What a dick.

Well isn’t he the big I am now he has his pills. Probably amphetamines. A tattoo & a motorbike. What a f’jng cliche 😂😂. He basically just simply met someone else and has rewritten the narrative to make you the reason why he left his family when really he’s just a weak, disloyal man. You’ve no reason to feel bad OP. Tell him when you want advice from an amphetamine hooked, cliche of a mid life crisis man who cheated on his wife and abandoned his family then you’ll ask him but until then he can F off.
He’s shown you his true colours , you don’t need him . Your revenge will be living your best life. You’ll meet someone new & better.

50/50 can be a good experience for children but it can change child maintenance contribution from him and he may not have to pay.

I wouldn’t give him more childcare. That’s just punishing your daughter. Let him and new gf enjoy their sad little life. Tattoos won’t cover up his unfaithfulness and disloyalty. Whether he had an affair or not he’s still shown both those qualities. Try and get a job that works around school hours. I don’t have advice because this situation must feel like utter shite and it would crush my soul if it ever happened to me, but I have faith in Jesus who is never unfaithful so that restores my hope to get through times of suffering. We each cope in different ways.

If you’re a 50% owner of the business, a director, you draw dividends and a salary, then it’s not HIS business, it’s half his. And you’re a company director as well as a SAHM. You ARE employed and ambitious. You’re equal owner and director of an apparently pretty profitable business.

But, as I’m sure you know, being a director means you have responsibilities and liabilities too, e.g. if the business breaks the law or loses money. If you don’t want to take responsibility for the business, you need to legally get yourself out of it. So you need advice on whether to sell your shares, either to him or someone else. Or dissolve the business, though if it’s the only source of both your incomes, that may not be wise when you have bills to pay. But I imagine it’s ill-advised to remain in it, drawing a salary and dividends and listed as a director but leaving the running of it largely to your ex.

Christ what an asshole.
The funniest part of this whole sordid thing is that this prick is her problem now.
And you get this loser out of your house and get to write a new chapter in your story of life.
And that can be wonderful in the scheme of things.

He wants to introduce his new squeeze to your child? No. After ‘5 weeks’? Way too quick. Even if he has been seeing her for longer (and let’s be honest he was probably already seeing her before he bailed on you) that’s still very early and not a long term enough relationship to be involving his child in.

YANBU to say you don’t think it’s healthy or sensible for your DD to meet his gf of only 5 weeks. In the same way it wouldn’t be for you to introduce her to your bf of 5 weeks.

5 weeks is nothing. If they get together 2 or 3 times a week, that means even he will only have met up with her (as a couple at least) about 10-15 times. IMHO you should ideally give it a year before you introduce DC to a person you’ve coupled up with. Lots of relationships don’t last the year. It’s unfair and confusing to DC to be introduced to ‘special friends’ who come and go.

As for what you do about the break up of your marriage, do you accept it’s over, rather than wanting to persuade him to stay with you? I assume that’s the case, and TBH I don’t blame you as he sounds like an arrogant a-hole: when someone remarks on the heat, he tells them they should see it as a business opportunity FFS! Especially given he struggled to function properly until he improved with your support and meds - short memory.

If you accept it’s over, then you really must get on the front foot and move swiftly for the divorce. Instruct a good family law solicitor. Keep important documents safe and certainly don’t hand them over to him on request. Where is DD’s passport? (He sounds so fickle he may suddenly decide to take her off to live on a smallholding in Spain). Check if you have evidence (texts?) of him saying he preferred/agreed for you to be a SAHM - i.e. you as the primary caregiver and that he’d fund that. I’m no expert but it may help you argue for majority custody of DD, with maintenance for that. You also need legal advice on splitting assets and the business.

Now’s not the time for chewing over how awful he’s been to you or how reasonable he was or you were. If it’s over, you need to fight for the best possible deal for you and DD. Your life will soon be your own again. You’ll be earning your own income. Childcare is less of an issue with DD at school. You’re already free of his persistent immature and insensitive snipes at, and demands of, you. Some counselling might help you process the relationship breakdown, but best to put your energy/time/money into the best possible divorce as a priority. You’re strong. You can do it 💪💐

Sorry you’re experiencing this.Use it as opportunity to liberate yourself from his criticism
Think about seeing GP for a review regarding your anxiety, consider self referral to talk therapy
Think about working and getting your mojo back

And this.

Hey op sorry you are going through this. I hate it when I read these posts when the dad just pisses off to start again with a new woman without a thought to there kids.
I know you won’t be thinking straight this is why you need to act now look at your business accounts & bank accounts see if he’s done anything to move money. See a divorce solicitor asap if you have any doubts remember he thinks nothing of you he doesn’t care he ruined Boxing Day so he could hurt you on purpose. he could have done it another day but he’s cruel and heartless where you are concerned. he’s moved on you need to be strong now get your ducks in a row get your independence and if he says anything about your lack of ambition remind him who was taking care of him when he was a nobody. If your dd has to meet new gf just explain she is daddy’s friend and not yours no idea why a woman wants to meet a kid after such a short time. The other thing you could do is tell him you might need him to step up so you can work and you should discuss 50/50 alternative weeks so he doesn’t always get the freedom to do as he pleases. Maybe you should also consider him buying you out of the business if it’s doing well that could give you money to live off and when your ready then set up again. There is no point doing it whilst you are going through all this crap. You have options look into all of them . Good luck.

How very unsympathetic

You don't need flexible work. You get wraparound care and look for a full time job.

Definitely get yourself to a solicitor. You need to get things in motion that take his opinion out of the equation.
He sounds like a right toilet goblin, he needs flushing back to the sewer he crawled out from.
If the business is 50/50 Bexhill need yo buy you out. And you need to look at finances and your housing situation ( is it owned or rented) . You need to take emotion out the equation and ensure you and your daughter are secure for the future *I've been there it sucks but it does need doing before he jumps to it first and tries to pull the rug from under you. Going on how he's conducting himself it is very likely.

Yeah except women or at least alot of women, still do the housework, childcare, and other domestic responsibilities!

Then he can buy you out.

Yes, Yes, Yes !
He’s been helped by you but now he’s happy to abuse you. What a fine specimen he must think he is , remember this is not an unusual scenario. You’ve been groomed into thinking you are defective so he doesn’t have to feel so guilty.
You are not alone , contact your local Women’s Aid. They will help you enormously and talking to them will start your self-esteem recovery.
Good Luck, take good care of yourself .

The business should be valued together with the house, jewellery, watches cars furnishings and any savings, pensions and investments you both have. Everything goes into one pot and the judge awards you with a percentage

Then you can divide up the amounts according to the valuation. He might take the business, a car the living rooms sofa and some of his pension .You might keep the house a car and the rest of the furniture etc and get some of his pension transferred to you.

It’s very clinical and precise. If for instance you are left with a car worth £5000 and you need £3000 and he needs £2000 to make up the totals Either one buys the other out or the item gets sold and the proceeds divided up accordingly

First things first. Give yourself some Grace - you have had a massive shock.
Second - see a lawyer. You need impartial advice as you cannot be impartial with the emotion of it.
Third - check if you have a restrictive covenant in your contract with your husband's business. If you do, you may come unstuck trying to set up a competitor business.
Four - next time he talks about his self esteem, tell him your self esteem is just fine now you have lost 180lbs ie him!
Five - repeat after Me.... I am a strong independent woman who is raising a fantastic daughter and who is more than capableof looking after us both. Repeat daily, preferably multiple times so your brain starts to believe it
Lastly- good luck. You have got this x

Just awful.

Is this an ad for adhd meds though?

What a total piece of selfish S * you have for a husband. Sorry you need to put your foot down & get on with the rest of your life without him. He has never grown up. !!

I'm so sorry OP, what a dreadful position to be in.
My guess is the 'low self esteem' is partly down to him treating you badly and undermining you at every turn.
Do you have family, good friends you can turn to for support? I hope so.

Still to this day, I get long lectures from him that I should try to be achieving great things but my low self esteem gets in the way.

Or the fact you have a child who needs looking after. If he had the same responsibilities I wonder how ambitious he would appear