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AIBU?

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DS’s school friend made a mess of our toilet and his Mum has defended him

613 replies

LeahYoga · 29/04/2025 22:49

DS had a friend round after school today (they are secondary school age). When he left, I had reason to use the upstairs bathroom and the toilet was completely covered in crap, skid marks everywhere. I immediately asked DS if he knew anything about this and he told me it was his friend who used it but he hadn’t mentioned any mess afterwards.

There’s a toilet brush in there and I don’t think it should be beyond the ability of a young teenager to clean up after themselves. My DS certainly would.

I messaged his Mum to politely say that if her son was to visit again, I’d appreciate him cleaning up after himself if/when needed. She sent me a bit of a shitty reply (pun not intended), along the lines of I should be glad I’ve only got one DS rather than the three she has as she has to put up with all sorts as the only female in the household. Then she had the cheek to say I could have cleaned it in the time it took me to message her! With two laughing emoji’s. Which isn’t the point. No apology at all.

AIBU to tell my DS he isn’t to invite him round again?

OP posts:
theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 29/04/2025 22:57

Oh OP, you don’t embarrass teens like that, it’s very unkind.

You were going to have to tidy it up anyway, so just leave a sharp note up next time he comes round and/or tackle him direct. No need to involve your son.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 29/04/2025 22:56

Yeah yabu sorry, i would've just cleaned it and let the matter lie

SheilaFentiman · 29/04/2025 22:55

Mate. I would have told your DS to clean it then let him take it up with his friend. You went to his mum?!

UpJacksArseAndRoundTheCorner · 29/04/2025 22:55

I would've cleaned it, told my son to mention it to his friend.

And then moved quickly on with my life.

thistimelastweek · 29/04/2025 22:55

You messaged his mum?
I don't think you need worry about not inviting him back. You'll never see him again.
But your poor son might never live it down.

Whatwouldnanado · 29/04/2025 22:54

The lad clearly needs housetraining and obviously won’t get that from his mother. I would’ve cleaned it, then next time the boy was round given everyone in earshot a reminder that here we leave the loo clean after we’ve used it. I wouldn’t’ve messaged the mother.

Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 29/04/2025 22:54

I wouldn't have messaged his mum, that's just asking for trouble when dealing with teenagers.

Not unreasonable to tell your son his friend isn't welcome to visit anymore - might teach him some manners

Littletreefrog · 29/04/2025 22:53

Not ideal but I can't believe you messaged his Mum about it.

dontlookgottalook · 29/04/2025 22:52

Although I agree this is gross, I voted YABU as I’m not sure there is a polite way to text someone about this, or at least not in the way it sounds like you did.

AutumnLeaves91 · 29/04/2025 22:52

Can tell you’re fun.

SBHon · 29/04/2025 22:52

There’s your answer of why he didnt clean it up, because his mum cleans up after them all so he’s never learnt how!

I can’t believe you messaged her though. If I was your DS I would be so embarrassed.

Pancakeflipper · 29/04/2025 22:51

Really ?

Scratchingaroundinthesameoldhole · 29/04/2025 22:51

I think i would have just dealt with it, rolled eyes and laughed. I definitely would not have messaged his mum. How embarrassing

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