DS’s school friend made a mess of our toilet and his Mum has defended him

I can't believe that you messaged his mum. The poor kid must be so embarrassed.

They’re not babies but they’re still very young in terms of social development - don’t be tricked into thinking they’re basically adults. They’re not.

Im pleased I’m not a germophobe who couldn’t get over something like this. Sounds like a stressful life

OP does your son know you messaged friend’s mum? He’ll be mortified. What you did was really embarrassing for everyone. Very strange behaviour.

Yes, this is definitely a valid consideration. Your son may pay the price for your annoyance.

Teens aren't babies and some parents need to stop treating them like babies. They are perfectly capable of cleaning toilets and like you said, it isn't hard.

I will not clean up shit that doesn't belong to me or a small child.

You have come across terribly here.ok the lad shouldn't have left it like that BUT basically He will never darken your door again ever. Your DS has lost a friend and you have come across as a crazy. You have publicly outed yourself as confrontational to say the least . Your poor son. Id have said nottin !!

There were adult ways to deal with this and you took the mean way. Poor kid.

Why message his mum anyway? Whe are male issues her problem? Message his dad (obviously I’m not being serious - don’t message anyone about what someone does in the bathroom, you weirdo!)

Work colleagues ? The cleaners clean the loo at work

Very reasonable indeed. How many threads have there been over the years about work colleagues leaving toilets in a state? Well.. this is where it all begins. Living audacity, to swan off as though it was not his business. 🚽

Yes, exactly.

Because you’re a grown up and need to grow a thicker skinner? Because when we have guests round we accept that sometimes they do things that we are used to but get on with it because a decent host (especially that when it’s your child’s friend) doesn’t mention things that really don’t need mentioning.

Messaging his mother is ridiculous. I would just have said next time he is round ‘right, anyone who uses the toilet please make sure you leave it as you found it’. Mention no names - he will know.
And if you have a dog get them to walk it and pick up his poo from your garden.

oh no this is just awful of you 🙈

Why should I clean someone else's shit? If I could potentially just squirt some bleach and get over it, so could a teenager.

You've just reminded me how every friendship group seemed to have a member called Skids!

Presumably Skids is the boy who leaves the marks, though. The one with the toilet-policing mother would be called Bogbrush or something 😏

OP, I think it would've been better to task your son with educating his friend on the mysteries of loo cleaning.

Yeah that’s still poo in the toilet.

FGS I doubt she had to lick it off, a blast of bleach is enough

And yes anal about poo in a toilet. It’s where poo belongs, it’s nothing to be offended about.

Guests don't clean up

If I was a teenager and this happened to me I would be so upset. Mortified. I hated poohing at friends houses, I’d get really worked up about it as I had bowel issues so I’d struggle with this scenario.

I hope the other Mum hasn’t mentioned it to her son. And if she has, I hope he’s a resilient lad and not a sensitive soul that will get embarrassed.

Maybe I’m a walkover but I’d never make my child clean someone else’s shit on principle. I’d just squirt some bleach and get over it. It’s a toilet. What do you think k it’s for?

Eh? Anal about poo? What are you on about?

As you are obviously hard of reading, I will help you.

It wasn't just the poo in the toilet, it was the skid marks he left along with the crap. If it was just a flush that was needed I doubt OP would've been too bothered, just thought "lazy git". It was the fact she had to CLEAN HIS SKID MARKS off the toilet. For a teen-age boy. Vile.

MN is full of poo-apologists tonight. Weird.

I would be sad and so cross if you messaged me like this about my teen. Kids are in a daze and forget to check a loo..it happens they don't have grown minds yet.

They are however very easily embarrassed and shamed.

If anything you could have said..hey boys do remember to check the loo is clean

I still have to remind me teen and I'm not sure he wld think to clean someone else's toilet if he was distracted.

Of course he needs teaching but not shaming like thus

No. I'd have my child clean it since it was his friend.

Agree with others ott response to message the mother.

The mothers “you should live with a house full of boys” is just enabling gross and bad behaviour. My Nan had 7 boys, they were all house trained! I grew up with 2 brothers, neither would behave this way, then again they are both “shit bricks” who won’t use other people’s toilets.

Id tell your DS the next time he has friends over he tells the to make sure they clean their shitty mess up, otherwise he’s cleaning after his friends.

If I were your son I would be so mortified and angry at you

I agree.

Speak to the boy by all means but messaging his mum is not on.