DS’s school friend made a mess of our toilet and his Mum has defended him

In an ideal world they would do this, but my DH occasionally fails to use the toilet brush, so I can forgive a teen. He might have been nervous to do it (kids can get nervous about weird things).

This thread has opened my eyes a bit though... decorative brush?! And I also think that brushes are pretty unhygienic - I don't know if I'd like just anybody using them as they can catch on the rim and spray grossness around.

I thought you meant shit on the walls and stuff, but in the toilet, well, it's the place for it.

Those arguing that OP made a feminist move are forgetting that … OP texted his mum about the shit. Not his dad! Obviously it’s the woman’s fault!

Having worked a lot with teenage girls - and been one - I can confirm they are just as gross. Nobody’s parent of either sex should be texted though!

@324GG And it will surprise you that most teens can clean up their own shitty skid marks, and if not, deserved to be called out on their disgusting, lazy behaviour

Perhaps the teen is more hygienic than OP, and simply decided not to use the disgusting toilet brush.

What a shame that it’s still the social norm for women to have to clear up the literal faeces of males that people are baffled it’s even an issue and that op should just clean and stfu. His parents should be teaching him these things YANBU.

Shitty reply had me 🤣

Nah you are not being unreasonable at all, basic manners!
His mums reply is mental! I'd be sweating apologies had I received such a message!

I’m assuming people saying the DS should “Have a word” with his mate have never met a teenager. If I told my 11yo to talk to her mates about shot stains I think she’d sooner throw herself out of her window

I said that earlier and I reckon nobody would be saying she’d deserve to be humiliated over it

You are completely wrong to message his mum. It's unnecessary and embarrassing. 81% of people here also think this.

Yep its gross and no you shouldn't have to deal with it, but it would have been better to get your son to deal with it. Both the cleaning and having a word.
I bet the family will be chuckling about this for years to come, it will become part of their family lore, 'Hey do you remember that time when that mate of your's mum texted Mum because you left a...'

This all reminds me of my DDs friend, he used several of my mothers giant 1980s sanitary pads to wipe his arse, my DF had to unblock the toilet, neither parent happy.
Classic. 😅

I wonder if any of the responses would be different if it was a teen girl. Girls seem to be held up to a higher standard than boys and boys are taught that girls/women will just clean up after them. Girls are taught to be quiet and accept it.

Sorry but your last paragraph really made me laugh! Could he not find the toilet roll?!

@LeahYoga

You're clearly sure you haven't been unreasonable at all so not sure why you even bothered posting.

He's a teenage boy - they don't notice stuff like that - he didn't do it on purpose & wasn't intentionally disrespectful. Your reaction was ridiculous.

OP, can I give you my MIL’s number please? My Husband leaves skids in our toilet, drives me bloody mad! I think his Mum should know. TIA

Agree with @SouthLondonMum22 , if my 7yo dd can clean her own skid marks and shit up it shouldn’t be a problem for a teenager.

All my DDs have been taught to check the toilet and clean it if they do a shit, even if it involves multiple flushes.

Before anyone starts on my 7yo DDs using bleach, she dosnt, I keep washing up liquid in the bathroom cabinet, she put some in a jug fills with hot water and pours into the toilet washing off skid marks.

This all reminds me of my DDs friend, he used several of my mothers giant 1980s sanitary pads to wipe his arse, my DF had to unblock the toilet, neither parent happy.

I think you did the right thing, but not having him round again is probably overkill.

She probably mentioned it to him, and he may be more careful next time.
I would give him the benefit of the doubt one more time. If he does it again, then no (maybe check the loos discretely before he leaves your house, so you can speak to him directly if need be.)

I wouldn't have texted his mother.
I'd either stop him visiting or direct him towards the bleach and antibacterial wipes.
I couldn't trust him to clean a toilet brush afterwards, my toilet brush is a decorative piece, not for use, I'd be more angry if someone used my brush.

I’d have been so embarrassed if my Mum had done anything like this.
Your poor son!

I remember years ago a woman on MN actually cried and said she was experiencing trauma because a workman had a poo in her toilet 🤣 so inconsiderate of him not to just defy gravity it’s and hold it in as he worked.

I have honestly never encountered skid marks of the variety that feature heavily on Mumsnet, and I have a large family. I’ve never really met a skid mark that isn’t resolved by a squirt of bleach and an extra flush ?
The Mumsnet ones always sound as if they’re made of concrete or tar or something 🤔
Usually on here , a tradesman is the culprit.

I'm surprised you aren't getting more grief about having a toilet brush!.
I think it's very sweet that you think your own son would never do this! How would you know? Most people would never tell you. 😆

From your title I got the impression that it was a primary school kid flinging poo around the room. Not a secondary school kid who used the bathroom as normal and left a few marks from where the toilet didn’t flush it all properly. You are massively unreasonable and a control freak. Your poor son is likely embarrassed that his friend is not going to want to come to his home again. You thought you was humiliating the poor boy but instead, you’ve only humiliated yourself

They are old enough to know that you don't leave your shit for others to clean.

I'm not a germaphobe but I'm also not a teenage boys maid.

So would I use the loo brush in someone else's house? Possibly, if it was easy to find. Would I use bleach etc in someone else's house? Definitely not, it's like going through someone's possessions.