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Original poster

Would it bother you if your partner got up later than you?

329 replies

footballfan1963 · 29/04/2025 20:05

Partner 1 has a full time professional job and gets up at 6.30am every weekday.

Partner 2 was a SAHM to 3 dc and now works part time (2 days/week).

P2 loves sleep and sometimes doesn’t get up till 10am on non working days. P2 does all the cooking, laundry and house admin.

If you were P1, would P2’s late getting up bother you?

OP posts:
Whocanbelieveit · 29/04/2025 21:01

Did you do all the night waking and early mornings with 3 dc and all the housework, cooking, shopping etc, whilst your DH only had to get himself to work and come home to a home cooked meal every night and a clean house? If so then you are not being unreasonable. It is a well earned rest.

Asuitablecat · 29/04/2025 21:00

I think it's lazy. But then, I'm up before 6 every day for work, so 8 am is a lie in for me. And from about March onwards, I love the morning light.

Dramatic · 29/04/2025 21:00

footballfan1963 · 29/04/2025 20:31

Thank iyou, I am P2. Dh has never pushed me to work more days although I’ll probably be taking on one more day soon.

I think he’s just a bit irritated by it. Makes the occasional dig that I’m still in my PJs but maybe I’m being over sensitive and making more of it than there needs to be.

I think people do have different natural body clocks, if I have some time off and can get up when I naturally wake I very quickly get in to a routine of sleeping from 2am-10am. Whereas my husband would naturally sleep from 11pm-7am. People seem to think it makes you lazy or slobbish but it's the same amount of sleep just slightly later. Annoys me no end when people think they're better than you just because they get up earlier.

CaptainFuture · 29/04/2025 20:58

TimeForTeaAndG · 29/04/2025 20:38

...raising the DC, doing the housework, covering DC sick days, making the food........

Show quote history

Which given the 'kids' have now graduated from uni, that level of input was probably about 15 years ago!! 😆

Original poster
footballfan1963 · 29/04/2025 20:58

Springadorable · 29/04/2025 20:56

So you're not a sahm. You're asleep while your partner works. That's very different from starting your day at 4.30am with a toddler.

Read the OP. WAS - past tense

OP posts:
TranceNation · 29/04/2025 20:57

10am is a bit slobbish in my honest opinion.

Original poster
footballfan1963 · 29/04/2025 20:57

Threecraws · 29/04/2025 20:52

I think calling yourself a Sahm if kids are grown up is a bit misleading.

Edited

I said I WAS a SAHM

OP posts:
Springadorable · 29/04/2025 20:56

So you're not a sahm. You're asleep while your partner works. That's very different from starting your day at 4.30am with a toddler.

SleepsAThingOfThePast · 29/04/2025 20:55

I sleep in on a weekend . Dh never comments he just gets up sorts the kids. In the week he doesn't get to do the breakfast and morning routine with them so he likes to at the weekend

Tangerinenets · 29/04/2025 20:55

No would not bother me. I don’t work. My huxband gets up at 6.30 every day. I usually get up with him but every now and then I stay in bed until 8/9am.

Shitmonger · 29/04/2025 20:54

I wouldn’t be thrilled with it in a partner.

But as a teen/uni student/young adult it definitely would have annoyed the crap out of me if my mum was lolling in bed until 10am while I was dragging myself out to school and work. 😂

Threecraws · 29/04/2025 20:52

I think calling yourself a Sahm if kids are grown up is a bit misleading.

MereNoelle · 29/04/2025 20:51

Fiery30 · 29/04/2025 20:48

10am is quite late and a bit lazy, slob-like, especially the hanging about in pjs. I love sleeping too but sleeping in that late everyday is a bit much. Doesn't seem healthy either. How much house work could you possibly have, if your kids are working adults? Surely they help out a little?

Everyone has different sleep needs. Or maybe the OP sleeps the same number of hours as you, but just gets up later? People seem to think that it’s morally superior to be an early riser for some reason, but it’s nonsensical.
And I say that as someone who hasn’t slept past 7am since I was a teenager.

Fiery30 · 29/04/2025 20:48

10am is quite late and a bit lazy, slob-like, especially the hanging about in pjs. I love sleeping too but sleeping in that late everyday is a bit much. Doesn't seem healthy either. How much house work could you possibly have, if your kids are working adults? Surely they help out a little?

TheCurious0range · 29/04/2025 20:45

I'd be irritated , your children are adults so presumably it's been a very long time since there was a family need for you to work part time or not at all. You get to lounge around while he gets up and goes out to support you.

Original poster
footballfan1963 · 29/04/2025 20:45

EleanorReally · 29/04/2025 20:43

what do adult dc do?
are they asleep too?

2 have graduated and both working. Dd1 works shift patterns, dd2 office hours

OP posts:
Busbygirl · 29/04/2025 20:44

I think it’s lazy. It would annoy me.

TimeForTeaAndG · 29/04/2025 20:44

EleanorReally · 29/04/2025 20:41

10 am to me is very lazy

There's no virtue in being an early riser. I would ideally love my life between the hours of 10am and 1am.

whoisit1234 · 29/04/2025 20:44

This absolutely would annoy me, and I can't put my finger on why. But then me and DH wouldn't ever in a millions years lie in until 10am even if we could. I'd consider 7:30-8am a lie in

EleanorReally · 29/04/2025 20:43

what do adult dc do?
are they asleep too?

CandyCane457 · 29/04/2025 20:43

We don’t have children (yet- I am pregnant though) and atm I get up for work at 7am and my partner doesn’t get up until 8.20. I know it’s not a huge difference, sometimes I do feel jealous of his extra hour and 20mins, but also not really bothered and wouldn’t insist he got up earlier just to make me feel better, so it’s no biggie!

EleanorReally · 29/04/2025 20:41

10 am to me is very lazy

Original poster
footballfan1963 · 29/04/2025 20:39

CaptainFuture · 29/04/2025 20:35

Think I'd be irritated if I'd always been the one to work full time and my partner has had prob decades of being at home while I worked!

Show quote history

I suppose so. But it’s never been an issue, we are a team, he enjoys his job and wouldn’t have enjoyed being at home with the dc. I don’t think there’s a huge amount of resentment on his part, just some mild irriitatuom which I’ve taken to heart.

OP posts:
TimeForTeaAndG · 29/04/2025 20:38

CaptainFuture · 29/04/2025 20:35

Think I'd be irritated if I'd always been the one to work full time and my partner has had prob decades of being at home while I worked!

Show quote history

...raising the DC, doing the housework, covering DC sick days, making the food........

CaptainFuture · 29/04/2025 20:35

footballfan1963 · 29/04/2025 20:31

Thank iyou, I am P2. Dh has never pushed me to work more days although I’ll probably be taking on one more day soon.

I think he’s just a bit irritated by it. Makes the occasional dig that I’m still in my PJs but maybe I’m being over sensitive and making more of it than there needs to be.

Think I'd be irritated if I'd always been the one to work full time and my partner has had prob decades of being at home while I worked!

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