Toy guns/weapons

I have two boys and was very anti toy gun. Refused all gun related toys, had a wide range of toys including duplo, a toy kitchen, playmobil, lots of the usual stuff. My eldest really wanted a toy gun from as soon as he understood they existed. I wasn't sure where it came from, we didn't allow unsuitable tv etc.
The first time he was allowed choose his own toy with his own money in a toy shop he chose a gun, he might have been 5 then.

I was disappointed but decided to go with it rather than escalate the issue. Was resolute against nerf until they were given some smaller ones birthday presents. Wasn't thrilled about it. But they have all sorts of 'weapons' - swords, cheap little bows and arrows, etc. They've played loads of war or police games. But absolutely aren't allowed hurt each other.

I have wondered where the drive to play shooting or war games came from.

Now the elsldst is 9 it's just one small element of different games he once played or still plays. It doesn't seem like such a big deal.

It’s interesting you use the example of the toy kitchen, I definitely see a link between my son playing with it and him wanting to get more involved in cooking for real. He also watches me cook in the kitchen and then goes off to his play kitchen to try and copy what I’m doing.
I really do see a link between how they play and what behaviours are normalized (e.g. my son uses the same phrases we do when he ‘parents’ his dolls, or he uses his little toy figures to act out stories he’s seen in books/TV).

I was widowed when PG with my DS so he was brought up in a single parent family until I re-married when he was about 9 years old.

Out of necessity he had to be in the kitchen with me when he was little & I was cooking meals. From an early age (say 16-18 months) he would be sitting in his high chair making cheese straws out of cheese that I'd grated & left-over pastry he cut out pastry to make jam & fruit tarts (from fruit purees that I'd made), (yes, ok barely edible, but he was so proud to take his own cooking to nursery & GPs made all the right noises telling him that they'd never eaten such delicious food!) he also mashed potatoes & veg for cottage pies, made the pastry in the food processor - well, moved the button to make it whir until I said that was enough. As he got older he moved on from that to standing on a chair stirring sauces, making scone-based pizzas by measuring out the flour & fat, mixing it in the fod processor, rolling it out, spreading the tomato base & placing onions, peppers, salami etc that I had cut up for him onto the pizza base. As well as many other meals.

All under my close supervision of course.

He learned that he needed to wash his hands before cooking, between handling meat & veg as well as basic cookery skills.

And so it moved on so that when he was old enough he was able to help cook a whole meal. As a teen & early adult we had great fun cooking together and he started to cook alone and to adapt recipes to his own liking as well as to develop his own favourite recipes.

He's now nearly 30 & a successful chef.

'nuff said. 😇

Children have great imaginations. I remember daydreaming and making stories in my head about battles and kings and queens and yes, there were deaths and killings, sometimes quite gruesome ones and torture of "prisoners" in the dungeons. I simply don't see that as an issue. Fake swords are great for pretending to be a pirate. Children are capable of understanding pretend in this way - they may pretend to shoot each other with fake guns or stab each other with fake swords and laugh and say "you're dead", but you can bet they'd react differently if it actually happened for real in front of them. They aren't going to mistake someone with a real weapon killing someone for some harmless game, there is clearly a difference and I think we as parents underestimate children in regards to this sometimes. Do we not remember being children?

I always preferred my older brothers' toy six shooter and Walther PPK to the toy iron and Tiny Tears doll/blue striped buggy/dolls pram I'd been given by somebody hoping I'd be 'a proper little girl and not a boy in disguise'.

Strangely, I've never felt the need to commit highway robbery whilst wearing face paint and a frilly shirt, colonise a country and exterminate the indigenous population, nor have I lived a hundred lives as a spy. Not particularly keen on ironing, either, tbh. Pretty sure that neither of my kids have killed somebody because we'd stalk one another around the garden with supersoakers in summer, either.

It's as though they're toys for play and not a determining factor in sociopathy.

I had the same feelings but honestly my son can turn anything into a weapon. Sticks, forks, cute gender neutral wooden toy carrots, literally anything. So I gave up the fight but drew the line at fake machine guns or anything that looks real enough to give me a fright. Nerf guns, water guns and tiny plastic army figures everywhere now. He’s not a violent kid and it never turns into anything troubling so I just try to ignore it.

I had a no guns in the house rule, guns aren’t toys blah blah blah then on my eldest sons 9th birthday someone bought him a nerf gun and the rest is history!

We’re 100% anti toy guns - totally unnecessary. We never had any in the house although obviously they still played’gun’ games but we explained that guns were unacceptable. Thankfully it was only a short lived phase before their interests changed for the better.
Guns were the primary reason (along with the idiot Trump) that we didn’t move to the US.

They do have little archery sets however with a target

Because no one has ever been harmed by a cross bow/bow and arrow.

@LegoLandslide if you look on Amazon for tube water guns you’ll find ones that aren’t gun shaped.

Terrible for the environment though because it means little pieces of broken balloon everywhere.

Condoms are great for water fights (uni age) but for kids I think small balloons are more appropriate 😂

Reminds me of that famous photo, where a little girl was given toy car to play with.
Kids will end up doing what they want, and pretend play in the direction they want

People are free to parent the way they like, I just don't see the problem with toy guns, because we all had them, made of wooden stick or actual toy, and no harm was done. Kids play at being firemen, policemen, soldiers, warriors, bad guys and good guys.

Study sponsored by Barbie

@Needmorelego alas we refill those at the refill shop! Good suggestion though!

@LegoLandslide we used empty washing up bottles for water fights back in my youthful days.

Yes I won't buy toy weapons and won't allow them in the house. Not even water pistols here.

Am on the hunt for a pacifist friendly water shooter if anyone's seen any! I don't mind the squirting. Just nothing gun shaped.

I bought a cople of big nerf guns for my DS. Literally the only interesting thing that ever happened with them was that one was left in the garden over winter and we found it completely filled with an ants nest in the spring. The whole thing was full of soil and ants. We often talk about it still because it was fascinating.

The guns were rarely fired, because picking up the bullets was tedious and hard work.

Having said that, DS's friend was a bit obsessed with nerf guns and super-soakers. His parents told him that if he worked mega-hard and had lots of tutors, they would send him to the private school where he could learn to fire a real hand gun. He fell for this hook line and sinker, and worked his socks off.

My DS would have hated that and is just not into guns.

So I think it depends a bit on the child. I don't know anyone coming to actual harm from a nerf gun or super-soaker except when my DS got shot in the face at close range with a super-soaker. That put him right off, but again, that is quite a good lesson with fighting of any kind. He was unhurt.

My mum bought me and my sister play toy guns and knives when we were little. Almost certainly because (a) she loved playing cowboys when she was little and (b) because she wanted to make sure we had a mix of toys that some people would have said were “for boys”.

Happy to report neither of us are in any way violent or ever planned to use guns.

We relented first on swords and then on nerf guns. They’re brilliant fun. I think if we lived somewhere where guns were actually a problem, or if I knew of anyone personally affected, I’d have been far more reluctant, but here, it just feels v far removed from any real danger. Happy to report so far the two teens are v gentle non violent types, despite the great nerf gun arms race of 2015.

@BankHolidayBonanza but you don't actually kill someone with paintball. You cover them with paint to make them "out" of the game.
Paintball is usually played by teens/adults so they might say the phrase "you're dead" but they are old enough to understand the difference between real life and a game.
Younger children won't understand so the language used should be differently for that age group.
Water fights or Nerf fights aren't about "killing".

I agree with you completely, OP. The only gun we have is a water pistol and I'm not completely comfortable with that 😂

DH came home with a small nerf gun and I discreetly recycled it after a short period.

They do have little archery sets however with a target.

I shoot A4 pieces of paper with concentric circles drawn on them with my firearms.

the point was more than having a toy doesn't seem to impact the way you chose your hobbies later on.

Toy kitchen don't make you cook when you are old enough to do it, playing with gun doesn't follow you later on, or everybody would try to join army and police - and there's nothing wrong with that.

Paint balling and water fights are different in my eyes

paintballing is literally shooting at someone and prove that you "killed" them. You have the bruises to show it.

I am not sure how that's any different, surely it's worst if you go that way?

I’m also genuinely curious why you judge parents who give their children toy cleaning equipment.

It's just a bit sad, to try to push kids to become good little housekeepers.
Don't get me wrong, preschoolers seem to generally love helping with dusting, dishwasher and everything. It doesn't last 😂

I really do see a link between how they play and what behaviours are normalized
I really don't. We all played with guns when we were little (I mean everyone around me), most of us didn't join the army or the police, let alone became serial killers.

When you see little girls using dolls to beat the crap out of each other, I am not sure it makes them maternal either 😂